The Surprising Psychology of BDSM

Who does it, what do they do, and how does it affect them?

Contributed by francic fredrickson

 “A pervert is anybody kinkier than you are.” (Wiseman, 1996, p. 23).

The novel Fifty Shades of Grey introduced BDSM into polite public discourse. Since its publication, hallowed papers such as the New York Times have published articles on bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Harvard University now hosts a student group for undergraduates interested in consensual S&M. And Cosmo’s sex tips have taken a distinctly kinky turn.

With the Fifty Shades movie now coming to theatres, it seems like a good time to take stock of what we know, scientifically, about BDSM: Who does this stuff? What do they do? And what effects do these activities have on the people who do them?

1. How many people are into S&M?

According to researchers, the number likely falls somewhere between 2 percent and 62 percent. That’s right: Somewhere between 2 percent and 62 percent. A pollster who published numbers like that would be looking for a new job. But when you’re asking people about their sex habits, the wording of the question makes all the difference.

On the low end, Juliet Richters and colleagues (2008) asked a large sample of Australians whether they had “been involved in B&D or S&M” in the past 12 months. Only 1.3 percent of women and 2.2 percent of men said yes.

The Beginners Guide to Fetish Clubs in London

No one comes out of the womb latex clad and armed with a whip; no matter how well versed in the art of fetish some may be, they all had to start somewhere!

Whether you’re merely curious to catch a glimpse of what goes on inside these infamous kinky nightclubs, or you’re actually interested in dabbling in the fetish scene, entering a fetish club for the first time can be a little intimidating.

But never fear – all you need is a great outfit, an open mind and some basic knowledge to take your first steps into the cult of fetish clubs with ease. The first two are simple enough to achieve, and for the third we’ve got your back; here’s our what, where and how guide to get you from curious to club…

What can I expect from the UK fetish scene?

You may already have preconceptions about the fetish scene, BDSM and bondage; the media coupled with recent book and film releases (i.e. Fifty Shades of Grey) has provided a glimpse into this world, however this ‘glimpse’ probably isn’t all that accurate.

The best way to learn about fetish is to actually go and experience it for yourself; and where better to do so than in one of the many fun, relaxed clubs where drinks flow freely and sexual freedom without judgement is encouraged?!

The Nine Degrees Of Submission

This was posted to collarncuffs.com and is meant as food for thought, as an insight to where you see your own submission. Could also be used to described your submission in Femdom to others

I have added a survey below the article to see which of the 9 degrees of submissive prevails. please take the survey, it is anonymous but will provide excellent insight!

The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist

Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up of control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms for the masochist's own pleasure (ie: being turned on solely or mainly by one's own bodily sensations, rather than being turned on by being “used” to gratify one's partner's sadism).

Pseudo-submissive non-slave

Not into even playing “slave”, but into other “submissive” role-playing, e.g.: schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.

Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave

Likes to play at being slave. Likes to *feel* subservient; may in some cases like to *feel* that one is being “used” to gratify one's partner's sadism; and may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave's” own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).

True submissive non-slave

Really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed upon limits), but gets his/her main satisfaction from aspects of submission *other than* serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up of responsibility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her/his own *direct* pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).

True submissive PLAY slave

Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief “scenes” and within limits) and gets his/her main satisfaction from serving and being used by the dominant - but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. (May or may not be into pain, but if so, is turned on by pain *indirectly*, ie: enjoys being the objects of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places few requirements or restrictions.)

Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave

Really gives up control (though usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/ erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one's Mistress/Master, but, either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he or she will serve.

Part-time consensual but REAL slave

Has ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship, and regards oneself as the Mistress'/Master's “property” at all times. Wants to obey and please her/him in all aspects of life - practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic. Devotes most of one's time to other commitments (eg: job) but the Mistress/Master has first pick of the slave's free time.

Full-time live-in consensual slave

Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress'/Master's use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male (since men certainly aren't socially pressured into this kind of lifestyle). Within the S/M world, a full-time “slave” arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.

Consensual total slave with no limits

A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the “consent” is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely *anything* for your Mistress/ Master, with no limits at all. There are a few who claim to be no-limits slaves, but in all cases it would be reasonable to doubt the claim.

Article: Missbitch CollarNuffs.com

Which of the Nine Degrees are you?

The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist

Pseudo-submissive non-slave

Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave

True submissive non-slave

True submissive PLAY slave

Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave

Part-time consensual but REAL slave

Full-time live-in consensual slave

Consensual total slave with no limits

None of the above/ don't know

Created with PollMaker

Karl Marx is still relevant today - and we need him more now than ever before.

Is Marx Still Relevant?, by Peter Singer

On the 200th anniversary of Karl Marx's birth on May 5, 1818, it isn't far-fetched to suggest that his predictions have been falsified, his theories discredited, and his ideas rendered obsolete. So why should we care about his legacy in the twenty-first century?

In my opinion... We need Marx more than ever. Capitalism in its current form within the UK causes great inequality and an utter demoralisation of the population. Society has become so accustomed and familiar with the disparity and injustice caused by our current capitalist path, that they no longer acknowledge the reality of the situation. Instead, many have become so indoctrinated by media and political propaganda; they believe poverty is the result of idle, incompetent citizens who did it to themselves.

We have created a civilization of people who absorbed government misinformation that the poor were to blame for their failure to embrace globalisation and capitalism. If one follows the unwritten rules of the social order, all will prosper. As long as Mr Jones works hard, earns an income, pays tax on this income - then more tax when he spends and fritters his earnings to accrue merchandise of fancy to boost the economy, invests in insurance in case of death, unemployment or ill health, buys a house, a car….and he is strict in following the guidelines set out… He will become a perfect citizen, prosperous, free and blinkered to the reality which surrounds him.

THE LEGAL CONSEQUENCES OF BDSM ACTS

THE LEGAL CONSEQUENCES OF BDSM ACTS

Gary McLachlan LLB, LLM
Ph.D Student, Exeter University

Abstract

In this paper I use the political theories of Hannah Arendt, as well as critical legal theory which argues against assumptions based in liberal theory^[1] to re-evaluate sexual offences (BDSM)^[2] and touch on the principles which regulate speech, outside of the dialogue on 'freedom of expression' as a human right.

Firstly I set out a series of legal tests which arise from consideration of the cases and theories, and test them against fact, theory and case law to determine the concepts of ethics, motive, consent and capacity within the criminal justice system, as well as examining the existence of consequences. Consequences are included since that allows the determination of answers that would fit within the framework of restorative justice.^[3]

The argument is driven from an Arendtian perspective, but with the inclusion of elements of dignity discourse in equality law so that the focus of the law includes values of self-worth and self-respect both for the victim and the perpetrator. Since the offences are constructed from the actions of those taking part in BDSM sexual encounters, the victim here is normally also taken as a perpetrator. Since it is an Arendtian perspective I have assumed that no legal solution is possible until a political solution is created; that law and politics exist to serve different ends.

I would like to thank Chris Ashford^[4] and Matthew Burton^[5] for their thoughts and comments on an earlier draft of this work; any errors that remain are entirely my own responsibility.

A list of online resources for transgender people, their family and friends. -update

A list of online resources for transgender people and their family and friends

Culture and community

TransUnite

www.transunite.co.uk

The site is run by volunteers and a not for profit organisation We are the most up to date resource for the UK and online based support groups; users can find a local group and even message them directly from our site using the "Contact Group" button. We don't store any details and the site is secured by SSL.

We're verifying and adding groups on an ongoing basis with our next focus being online groups with Discord Servers, Telegram and Facebook groups becoming increasingly popular to compliment those that meet up in person.

The Angels

angelsforum.co.uk

Forum 'supporting the TG community'.

Club Wotever

woteverworld.com

A London bar space for trans, queer, LGBT people and their friends, with an emphasis on queer/trans performance.

Deep Stealth Productions

deepstealth.com

Founded by Calpernia Addams and Andrea James, Deep Stealth strives for positive media representation of trans people.

Gendered Intelligence

genderedintelligence.co.uk

Creative workshops, arts programmes, conferences and youth group sessions.

Meta

pocketmags.com

'A unique digital magazine which brings you the very best of trans and genderqueer news, advice and entertainment'.

Sparkle

sparkle.org.uk

The 'national transgender celebration' which takes place in Manchester every year.

Trans Media Watch

transmediawatch.org

Aims to combat prejudiced or sensationalist media reporting of trans issues, and offer advice to people or organisations.

Transfabulous

transfabulous.co.uk

Former London-based organisation devoted to transgender performance art, with an interesting archive.

Transfriendly

transfriendly.co.uk

Online forum for the trans community.

Female-to-male (FtM)

FTM International

ftmi.org

A comprehensive website for the female-to-male community, offering information about healthcare, law, events and family support.

FTM Network

ftm.org.uk

A British-based site acting as a friendship/support group for FtM transgender and transsexual people.

FTM Resource Guide

ftmguide.org

For trans men and friends, with tips on hormones, grooming, clothing, surgery and more.

FtM UK

ftmuk.net

UK-based FtM lifestyle forum.

Original Plumbing

originalplumbing.com

US magazine 'dedicated to the sexuality and culture of FtM trans guys'.

TransGuys

transguys.com

'The internet's magazine for transgender men'.

History and politics

The Empire Strikes Back

actlab.utexas.edu

Trans woman Sandy Stone's spirited rebuttal of Janice Raymond's book The Transsexual Empire (1979). This essay is one of the key texts of the 90s trans rights movement.

Genderqueer Revolution

genderqueerrevolution.org

For people beyond gender binaries.

Gender Variance Who's Who

zagria.blogspot.co.uk

'Essays on trans, intersex, cis and other persons and topics from a trans perspective'. Includes plenty of further reading, with a list of international trans resources.

Intersex UK

intersexuk.org

Committed to human rights for intersex people.

Just Plain Sense – The Trans Tapes

blog.plain-sense.co.uk

Interviews by Christine Burns with a variety of trans people.

Press For Change

pfc.org.uk

Political lobbying and educational organisation campaigning for equality and human rights for British trans people through legislation and social change. The original website is archived here.

Sylvia Rivera Law Project

srlp.org

US-based organisation seeking to raise the voices of marginalised trans people.

Trans London

translondon.org.uk

London discussion group.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

gender.org

Observed every 20 November to commemorate victims of transphobic violence.

Women Born Transsexual

womenborntranssexual.com

'For people who recognise transsexualism as an innate condition rather than a gender identity disorder'.

Medical services and healthcare

Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic online support group uk.groups.yahoo.com

A discussion group for those who have used the Gender Identity Clinic at Charing Cross.

Mind OUT

lgbtmind.com

Service for LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people with mental health concerns.

National archives – Gender Identity

webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk

Department of Health documents relating to gender identity.

NHS Choices

nhs.uk

The NHS page on gender dysphoria, covering terminology, symptoms and treatment.

Trans Health

trans-health.com

Magazine covering health and fitness issues.

Transhealth UK

transhealth.co.uk

The London Gender Clinic, the UK's largest private service.

World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)

wpath.org

Professional organisation devoted to 'the understanding and treatment of gender identity disorders'. Originally named after pioneering physician Harry Benjamin, WPATH produces the ethical guidelines and standards of care for professionals working with patients with gender identity issues.

Support groups and information

The Beaumont Society

beaumontsociety.org.uk

National self-help body run by and for those who cross-dress or are transsexual, and for their partners.

Clare Project

clareproject.org.uk

Brighton-based support group 'open to anyone wishing to explore issues around gender identity'.

Depend

depend.org.uk

Support group for families and friends of transsexual people in the UK.

Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES)

gires.org.uk

Information for trans people, their families and medical professionals.

Gender Trust

gendertrust.wordpress.com

Organisation which supports adults whose lives are affected by gender identity issues, as well as families and employers of transsexual or transgender people.

Mermaids

mermaidsuk.org.uk

Family and individual support for teenagers and children with gender identity issues.

Scottish Transgender Alliance

scottishtrans.org

Support for trans people, equality organisations, policymakers and employers in Scotland.

Susan's Place

susans.org

A comprehensive collection of online transgender resources, allowing people to add links/information themselves.

Trans Resource & Empowerment Centre

transcentre.org.uk

Based in Manchester, with monthly meetings, talks and workshops.

Transgender Zone

transgenderzone.com

Comprehensive website including medical information, a guide to venues and opinion about transgender representation in the media for both MtFs and FtMs.

Transsexual Road Map

tsroadmap.com

An excellent free guide to process of transitioning, and the social issues around it.

Courtesy of Juliet Jacques guardian.co.uk, Thursday 29 November 2012