It seems that no one is immune to E L James' controversial
novel, 50 Shades of Grey. Television shows, magazines, popular blogs, even side
conversations outside the school pick-up line are filled with talk about how
hot it is -- and how it may be solely responsible for jump-starting the sex
drives of bored housewives across the country. While I agree that some of the
sex scenes are quite titillating, I find myself annoyed at the overt (BDSM) Bondage/Discipline/Dominance/Submission/Sadism/Masochism stereotypes advanced by the book. Especially since the latest scientific
studies concerning sexual behavior do not back them up.
Welcome to Mistress Leyla’s Blog Here you’ll find in-depth articles to help create a real BDSM lifestyle. Obedience, submission and loyalty essential requirements.
READERS
Showing posts with label BDSM HEALTH / SAFETY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BDSM HEALTH / SAFETY. Show all posts
24 Jun 2014
21 Jun 2014
Power play, obedience and the sense of self for the submissive
In society, we are dependent on the systems which are in
place and which sustain our lives - systems which give order to our lives. we
are conditioned and taught from an early
age to be obedient to authority, be it a teacher, police officer or judge.
When we are faced with authority we have a tendency to yield
easier due to conditioning. we accept we are part of a hierarchy and obedience
is present within our social structures.
13 Jun 2014
Consensual Sadistic Sex Practices are Comparable to Meditation Experiences
Sadomasochism is defined as sexual behavior that involves
getting pleasure from causing or feeling pain. Previously thought to be a
pathological practice, current research has found no evidence of harmful
effects as a result of sadomasochism.
Scientists have found sadomasochism may actually lead to a
meditative experience and that such practices are not entirely about sex. Two
studies, one conducted by James Ambler of Northern Illinois University and the
other by Brad Sagarin of Northern Illinois University, have found that these
painful, sexual practices actually contribute to an altered state of
consciousness.
10 Jun 2014
BDSM safety and HIV
SUBJECT BDSM Etiquette BDSM Risk Reduction Drugs and Alcohol Safe Disposal of Syringes and Other Sharps Sexual Health HIV MRSA (Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus) Hepatitis C (HCV) Other STIs The Vagina or Front Hole The Penis The Rectum Lubricants Condoms, Gloves and Dams Toys Cleaning Toys Douching and Enemas Watersports, etc. Urethral Sounds Rimming Temperature Sucking, Blowing, Licking Restraints and Bondage Pinching Electricity Percussion Play Whipping Fisting Blood Sports/Piercing Shaving, Cutting, and Branding Other Resources |
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9 Jun 2014
BDSM, Personality and Mental Health
By Scott A. Mcgreal, www.psychologytoday.com View Original July
25th, 2013
A recent study on the psychological profile of BDSM (bondage
and discipline, sadism-masochism) practitioners has attracted a great deal of
media attention, with headlines proclaiming that “S&M practitioners are
healthier and less neurotic than those with a tamer sex life.” Although BDSM
has often in the past been thought to be associated with psychopathology, the
authors of the study argued that practitioners are generally psychologically
healthy, if not more so in some respects, compared to the general population.
However, it should be noted that most of the apparent psychological benefits of
being a practitioner applied to those in the dominant rather than the submissive
role. Additionally, the study findings need to be treated with some caution
because it is not clear that the comparison group is a good representation of
the general population.
It takes a rare woman to be a dominatrix
2 May 2014
QUESTION: Which parts of the human body are safe to kick?
Q: Which parts of the human body are safe to kick? A play partner has requested to be kicked while he's down, but I'm afraid of causing damage.
ANSWERS: Feel free to add you own in comments
Peter Tupper, Writer and Historian
Like other forms of impact play, kicking should be confined to areas of the body where there is a lot of muscle and/or fat between the skin and the bone: thighs, buttocks and upper back, avoiding the spine, neck and tailbone.
12 Dec 2013
Can BDSM Improve Mental Health?
BDSM has long been a sticking point in our popular views on
sex and sexual health. What is it really? Why do people practise it? Who
practises it? Once heavily stigmatized, it has begun to make more frequent
appearances on the pop culture scene.
Yet many misconceptions still exist – one of the most common
involving mental health. Why do some people enjoy BDSM more than others, and
does it reveal anything about our psychology?
24 Jun 2013
Aging and Your BDSM Relationship: Growing Old and Enjoying Your Kinks
How to Enjoy Your BDSM Relationship, for Life
In a way, Ageing BDSM relationships are no different at all
from any human relationships. In fact, the mere fact that your BDSM
relationship IS ageing is such a positive thing! It means your are ageing with a
chosen lover. The thing that IS different is that in BDSM Relationships, our
sexual play often includes implements which can, if incorrectly or badly used,
injure one or both parties. As we age along with our partners in a BDSM
Relationship, each of us may have to deal with a disability, or, as I prefer to
call them, different abilities. That rock music you loved to crank up high
enough to vibrate windows may damage hearing. Eyesight may diminish, or cease.
Strokes, medications and a myriad of other common conditions of ageing can pop
into your relationship. So, what are some things you can do in your BDSM
relationship to minimise their effect? Diminishing physical status in an ageing
BDSM Relationship can be handled to enhance your long term BDSM Relationship.
How can you stay happily kinky as you age?
- Hearing Loss-
When your partner is tied to a St. Andrews cross, facing
away from you, waiting expectantly for the caress of the flogger is NOT the
time to pretend you can hear just fine, and possibly miss her cues and signals
that all is not well. Communicate! Talk with her before the scene begins, to
set up hand signals or other methods of letting you know that she wants to end
the session, or that she needs to run to the Little Submissive's Room. For some
people, a crowded and noisy club, where quite often loud music and other kinky
players make for difficult conversation anyway, is the perfect place to practise
non-verbal communication. One trick that works for me is that I hold a small
cat toy in my hand. If I wish to stop the scene for any reason, or just to get
my Top's attention to ask for something different, I simply toss the brightly
-coloured, lightweight ball over my shoulder - at his head! Not really, that
would be a bit much, but dropping the brightly coloured ball does the trick.
Ageing lovers often experience diminished eyesight, and this
could be a significant challenge during a BDSM play scene, but there are many
possible aids to consider using, although, again, communication is key. You
probably would rather not have a Dominant flicking a single tail whip at your
very tender and naked back, if he can't see his nose in front of his face, but
there are other play techniques that can be just as exciting, and much safer! A
suggestion is to set up the scene very carefully and to do only BDSM play that
is more body-to-body contact, such as over the knee (OTK) spanking with his hand
or an implement such as a paddle with a short, manageable handle. This
precludes the danger of a whip or other implement striking an area that could
cause the bottom (receiver) injury or damage. Ageing in a BDSM Relationship can
help you be creative about working out the 'kinks' - be creative with your
partner.
- Joint Pain, Muscles and Flexibility Issues-
Ok, so everyone knows that submissives spend their entire
life on their knees, right? I mean, heck, all the books say that! Well, those
are fiction! Yep, fiction. All submissives don't spend their lives chained to
the foot of the bed naked either, but let's try not to wreck the fantasy, ok?
The truth is, many of us are happily ageing in our BDSM relationships, with our
ageing partners, and as happily ageing women (or men, I don't want to leave the
male submissives out in the cold!) we have aches and pains, and, most of us
can't bend in those low scraping bows, with even a modicum of grace anymore.
Oh, well. We adapt. Strategically placed pillows are wonderful for achy knees.
Changing position often helps keep muscles from freezing into painful,
uncomfortable, rock-hard blobs. One of the most wonderful things about being
with a partner for a long time, and knowing each other, is communication skills
are often developed along the way. Tell your partner, "Uh, this is so not
working for me!" and work together to find what DOES work. Instead of a
St. Andrew's cross, position yourself across a nice, plush, upholstered chair.
Rather than cleaning the bathroom floor on your hands and knees with his
toothbrush (oops, did I say that?), use a long handled mop! That is why mops
were invented!
- Menopause-
Thank heaven for lubricants. Not all women will need
additional lubricants after menopause, and you can do some easy things to
alleviate vaginal dryness even without lubricants. Stay well hydrated. Take
your time arousing and exciting your ageing and oh, so sexy BDSM partner. Take
MORE than your time, take the time to make her feel loved and appreciated, sexy
and sultry. And, for heaven's sake, there is no shame in needing bottled
lubricant. You can even make lube application erotic, if you relax and enjoy
each other!
-Erectile Dysfunction-
Medications are one cause of erectile dysfunction, but
normally ageing bodies change response as well. Again, taking the time to arouse
and excite your male partner is great, and sometimes, it isn't enough. But it
IS enough. Men can feel aroused and excited and sexually stimulated without an
erection. And, isn't that why there are adult toy stores? You can buy a
flesh tone vibrator or dildo (whatever the heck flesh tone is, I mean really, WHO'S
flesh is really that awful colour?) for a few bucks at just about any adult
store. Make it fun. Men are not their penis. They have hearts and minds (and
fingers, tongues, toes, elbows, etc.) Your ageing partner can use their intimate
and long term knowledge to please you and tease you in delicious ways well into
the autumn of your BDSM Relationship.
Medical conditions and disabilities can certainly interfere
in your preferred BDSM relationship style, and often simply ageing creates its
very own challenges in a BDSM relationship. I believe that the best way to deal
with changes is to face them head on, together. Being able to adapt is a great
source of comfort for everyone, and can actually lead you into whole new worlds
of fun and adventure. BDSM Relationships and Ageing don't have to be
incompatible. Everybody ages, just be sure you choose to live until you die,
and celebrate your ageing BDSM relationship, for life.
When Robert Browning wrote, "Grow old with me, the best
is yet to be", he knew what he was talking about!
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Practice makes perfect
Resulting form the lack of effectiveness in work while wearing shackles, I did promise Mistress to practice more at home when I have time an...
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