Mistresses, Madams and Super-Heroes

(Long Article)

La cérémonie

“Mistresses, Madams and Super-Heroes: The Rising Affection for the Dominatrix” 

In a previous publication, with the audience studies on-line research journal Participations, I listed a short range of stereotypes found in popular culture of practitioners in the BDSM ‘scene’ – BDSM referring to Bondage, Domination and Sadomasochism, a range of practices and lifestyles which are part of the playing out of narratives or scenarios of power exchange, both sexual and non-sexual, for the pleasure of all involved. These stereotypes I labelled: the Mature Dominatrix and her typical partner, the Young Male Sub; also the Vamp Dominatrix and the Public Authority Male Sub. The Mature Dominatrix is a sexually rapacious yet motherly figure, often from a working-class background, epitomised – or perhaps established in our imagination by – the great British madam, Cynthia Payne. Typically, this stereotype will be seen with her binary opposite, the naïve, weedy Young Male Sub who is humiliated by her admonishments and punishments. The Vamp Dominatrix is a more enchanting, sensational stereotype, she is younger and more attractive and is more likely to appear to be middle or upper class, or perhaps an exotic Other from France or Japan. She is far more dangerous in her practices than the Mature Dominatrix, and so is easily able to take in hand the Public Authority Male Sub in his more hard-core punishments. He requires, and can afford, relief from his important role in society as judge, politician, senior police officer, and so forth. The Mature Dominatrix typically appears as part of a satirical comic episode or advertisement, and whilst the Vamp Dominatrix also appears in such an episode, the laugh is more on the Male Sub than on the dangerous female herself. It is not too hard to see that part of the popular consumption of these stereotypes, one of the things that allows them to be popular, is the satirising of the normative behaviour of the masculine male by causing him to submit to a dominant female. The submissive female does not conform to our sensibilities: the woman who wishes to submit to a dominant male, despite being in a role-played SM scenario may be regarded as setting back feminism about fifty years.

Today, I would like to move on from these stereotypes to explore representations of the Dominatrix in the context of representations of women, apply some key critical frameworks and highlight some other roles and environments in which she operates, sometimes under a very different guise. Very little is written about the Dominatrix as represented in the media, and what can be found is within relatively recent work that is principally concerned with the increase of ‘tough’ or ‘dominant’ roles for women in the movies from the 1980s onwards, and it is to some of these sources that I would like to turn before I propose a number of things.

No Pain, No Gain?

(Longer Article)

No Pain, No Gain? Therapeutic and Relational Benefits of Subspace in BDSM Contexts

Journal of Positive Sexuality, Vol. 3, November 2017 © 2017 Center for Positive Sexuality

Dulcinea Widener University

Abstract

The experiencing of subspace (i.e., an altered psychological, emotional, and/or physiological state) is somewhat common among individuals who identify as masochists and submissives within the Bondage and Domination/Dominance and Submission/Sadism and Masochism (or Sadomasochism) (BDSM; Connolly, 2006) community. Because the BDSM community has been historically vilified due to stereotypes reinforced by negative media exposure and inadequate education (Langdridge, 2006), relatively little is known about the phenomenon of subspace outside of the BDSM community. The occurrence of subspace tends to be a highly sought-after experience in BDSM interactions (known colloquially as “scenes”), therefore it stands to reason that an exploration of the concept could provide clarity regarding the motivations of BDSM practitioners and the benefits they might receive through BDSM interactions. To this end, this article includes a review of social science literature on BDSM interactions with three goals in mind: 1) to discuss the overarching commonalities that exist within the widely varying realm of BDSM interactions and activities; 2) to gain an understanding of the psychological and cognitive shifts (i.e., subspace) that some submissive BDSM practitioners experience during BDSM interactions; and 3) to explore the potential benefits of subspace that may be derived during consensual BDSM interactions. From an analysis of the literature, I conclude that achieving subspace during consensual BDSM interactions might result in a reduction of physical and emotional stress in the submissive partner, as well as heightened intimacy between participants.

Literature on the subject of the alternative sexual practices of bondage, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism (referred to in this text as BDSM; for a broader explanation of these terms see Connolly, 2006) has historically pathologized BDSM practitioners by focusing on nonconsensual interactions that incorporate elements of sexual sadism or masochism as defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders [(DSM); American Psychiatric Association (APA), 2013; Richters et al., 2008]. However, over the past two decades, researchers have increasingly considered BDSM desire and expression as an atypical but healthy variation that over 10% of the general population incorporates into their sexual repertoire (Langdridge & Barker, 2007; Masters et al., 1995; Richters et al., 2008), and that 30 to 60% fantasize about (Joyal, 2015; Joyal, Cossette, & Lapierre, 2015). BDSM practitioners are now understood as a cross-section of society with representation across race, age, education attainment, and socioeconomic status, as well as gender- and sexuality-related identifications (, 2013).

While many find it stressful and stigmatizing to identify sexually with a marginalized community (Weinberg, 2006), many BDSM practitioners experience benefits to embracing their sexual orientation or preferences (Williams, 2006). The current shift in clinical attitudes toward BDSM desire and expression may be seen as analogous to the historical classification of homosexuality as a mental illness, and the evolving perspective that same-sex desire represents a healthy form of self-expression (Drescher, 2010; Landridge & Barker, 2007). Recent studies in the realm of BDSM encourage us to shift our thinking about BDSM as a “recreational leisure” activity (Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013, p. 2). Research has explored aspects of the practice, such as motivations (Barker, 2007), demographics (Richters et al., 2008), and variations of experience (Weinberg, 2006), though little attention to date has been paid to specific therapeutic benefits of BDSM interactions. Researchers have suggested that BDSM interactions are motivated by a desire to explore and expand sexual experience (Newmahr, 2008), to release feelings of pressure or guilt (Weinberg, 2006), or to achieve the highly sought-after transcendental state of subspace (Rinella, 2013). Though entering subspace is an aspect of BDSM expression that is regarded as desirable by many BDSM practitioners, it has received little attention in the literature (Newmahr, 2008; Rinella, 2013; Williams, 2006). Through an interpretive phenomenological analysis (IPA ) of the literature, I will offer a definition of the phenomenon of subspace, and I will explore the varying means of achieving subspace, as well as the associated benefits of this type of altered state of consciousness.

Subspace Defined

BDSM and the Right to Autonomy

Hot for Kink, Bothered by the Law: BDSM and the Right to Autonomy - Canadian Bar Association

"The things that seem beautiful, inspiring, and life-arming to me seem ugly, hateful and ludicrous to most other people. This may be the most painful part of being a sadomasochist: this experience of radical difference, separation at the root of perception. Our culture insists on sexual uniformity and does not acknowledge any neutral differences — only crimes, sins, diseases, and mistakes.”

Written almost thirty years ago, Pat Calia’s diagnosis of society’s sexual chauvinism still applies in Canada to the more hardcore forms of BDSM (Bondage-Discipline-Sado-Masochism, referred to broadly as “kink”), in practice and in pornography. While there are no laws that explicitly target BDSM activities or representation, Canadian courts have concluded that sex deemed too risky or rough can be criminalized under assault-related provisions, and sexual representation that is deemed “violent”, “degrading” or “dehumanizing” can be criminalized under obscenity provisions. In both cases, consent to the activities does not immunize the practice or the porn from criminalization. The ostensible explanation for this interference with our sexual autonomy is harm reduction. And yet our culture tolerates a wide variety of risky and injurious non-sexual activities, from mixed martial arts to elective cosmetic surgery, while circulating a wide variety of brutal imagery and violent stories, from extreme horror films to depictions of genuine torture and killing.

What might account for this hypocrisy?

Full article below: 

Mistress Leyla

Welcome to My blog. I try to promote, write and publish content relevant to BDSM and issues relating to the scene. I wanted this blog to be more than just a place to write kink related stories, but to touch on issues relevant and offer a go-to place for advice, articles and sometimes controversial issues.

A little about myself. I have been a practicing Professional Domme for over 10 years. I am active in many communities and have a wide interest in the essence of BDSM - mind, body and soul. And I firmly believe the qualities in a good Mistress are many and varied. These qualities are attributed to the person. There are many in the scene who do not understand the difference between being dominant and being domineering. A domineering person is overbearing, aggressive, loud and tyrannical. They control through oppression and enforce their will without consequence. This is not who I am.

I am always looking for people who would like to contribute to this blog, so, if you have an article you'd like to post, please do get in touch.

As a slave you are....

Sissy Maxine and the Master

I arrive at the hotel after answering the Craig’s List ad for sissies desiring a Master to teach and train them in the ways of sissiness… 

I knock and hear muffled voices as I enter. 

"Hi, I am Bob and these are my assistants Bunny and Laura. They will lead you into the bathroom to remove your clothing and help me with your first lesson." I enter the bathroom and undress, standing completely naked before Bunny and Laura, who are incredibly sexy, and as they take off their lingerie, I focus on their voluptuous breasts, and then out pops their cocks. As I begin to protest, Bunny grabs my balls and squeezes as Laura covers my mouth with a cloth filled with ether or chloroform. Everything gets hazy and I blackout.