Setting A BDSM Scene

Source: http://wheresthehardcore.com/resources/pdf/Setting-A-BDSM-Scene.pdf

A BDSM scene can be compared to:

• A Short Story
• A Play
• A Ritual

And just as these three formats have various elements in common, so does the BDSM scene.

All four are a form of creative expression. They are vehicles for the psyche to express itself through the imagination.

In a short story the author is moved by something within her or him to tell a meaningful tale.

In a play, the play write is inspired to formulate a script that will convey the message of his heart through the living medium of actors and actresses on a stage.

In a religious or magical ritual the priest or priestess, utilizes words, symbols and movement to enact a specific intention or desire, as part of the creative process that will cause that intention or desire to manifest in the material world.

In a BDSM scene the participants of the scene, work together to formulate a story, write the script and choose the symbols and movement that will tell the meaningful tale that they wish to tell, enact the message of their hearts and manifest an imaginary fantasy of their psyches into the material world.

So what is the first necessary component of all four of these formats of expression?

• The Reason
• The tale
• The message-the intention or desire
• The fantasy
•  

Therefore to perform a BDSM scene, the participants must first decide, what is the reason for doing the scene?

What is tale, the message, the desire and the fantasy we wish to explore?

Is our intention to push limits and boundaries or do we wish to have a little fun within the limitations and boundaries that we have already established?

Once the nature of the scene has been agreed upon and established the next step is to create its pathway.

The Pathway is the second component necessary in creating a scene.

Pathway is a term used when creating magical ritual and it works well when creating a BDSM scene, as it simply is a way of identifying or mapping out the various segments or stages that the scene is going to pass through, on its way to completion.

Much like a short story, a scene has a beginning, a middle and an end. This is its pathway.

• The beginning is the introduction. (opening)
• The middle is the body. (action)
• The end is the conclusion. (closing)

The beginning sets the mood and atmosphere. It is the opportunity to switch over out of real time into fantasy time and put on the character of the scene.

The middle is the actual scene itself in which the previously agreed upon fantasy is played out and brought to its climax. The end is a cool down period in which the participants have an opportunity to slowly ease their way out of fantasy time, back into real time and assess how the scene went and how each participant experienced it.

Depending on how elaborate the participants wish their scene to be, this pathway can either simply be discussed or it can be written down, much like the script of a play, with each participant having a copy to study prior to the scene.

Having created your pathway, the third component to be addressed in the setting of a BDSM scene is that of the practical element of location. When thinking in terms of a play, this would equate to the theatre that the play was going to be presented in and the stage that it is going to be enacted on.

Where is your scene going to be staged?

Will all of it take place in one location?

Will you begin your scene in a public location and then end it in private?

Will the scene be done in a fetish club?

Is there anything you need to know about the location to ensure your safety and privacy?

The fourth component necessary to manifest a good scene is of course costume.

Depending on the scene and the nature of the characters being enacted in the scene, the attire worn will be different.

To heighten the excitement of the scene and the ability of the participants to enter into fantasy time and character, it is good to try as best as possible, to have the attire of each participant reflect their character in the most authentic way possible.

The BDSM scene is about becoming a part of the psyche that is seeking to express itself through the creative imagination. So it is good to honour this by going to the greatest extent possible to give it a costume persona that it can wear, that is arousing

and stimulating to its characteristics. The fifth component of the BDSM scene, are the tools necessary to perform the scene.

The tools are like props in a play or the magical instruments in a ritual.

What sorts of tools will be necessary for you to successfully enact your scene?

Do you already have everything necessary or are there things that may need to be purchased?

How much can be improvised without compromising the integrity or authenticity of the scene? Be careful here. Too much improvisation can make the scene seem cheesy and bring the participants out of fantasy time. After putting a lot of effort into co-ordinating a scene, no one wants to be brought out of fantasy time by a pair of cheap plastic hand cuffs that snap, in an interrogation scene where good authentic cuffs could have been acquired and used.

So in review the 5 elements of a BDSM scene are:

• The Reason
• The Pathway
• The Location
• The Costuming
• The Tools

Once you have established these particulars, all that remains is to pick your day and time and let the scene unfold.

After doing a scene, it is good to have some relaxing social time. This could include a meal or snack and conversation. Some couples enjoy making love as the scene is a precursor or foreplay to a sexual encounter. Whatever it may be, enjoy an activity that is relaxing and is grounding back into real time.

Take as much time as is necessary to process the scene and the feelings around it. Things may come up for days after. If the scene goes extremely well there is always an extreme sense of accomplishment and usually the participants are brought closer together by the shared mutual experience. Even if there are glitches, the act of participating in a scene will always yield the fruit of learning and growing for all of the participants and ideas of what can be improved upon in the next scene will be gained.

Simply put...a BDSM scene is big people playing make believe, only with more elaborate costumes and tools and with fewer limitations and boundaries, than the little ones.

Links to bdsm scenarios: http://mistressladyleyla.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/ROLE%20PLAY%20SCENES#.UdiTqPmmjUA