Welcome to My blog. I try to promote, write and publish content relevant to BDSM and issues relating to the scene. I wanted this blog to b...

22 May 2018

The Nine Degrees Of Submission

This was posted to collarncuffs.com and is meant as food for thought, as an insight to where you see your own submission. Could also be used to described your submission in Femdom to others
I have added a survey below the article to see which of the 9 degrees of submissive prevails. please take the survey, it is anonymous but will provide excellent insight!

The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist

Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up of control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms for the masochist's own pleasure (ie: being turned on solely or mainly by one's own bodily sensations, rather than being turned on by being “used” to gratify one's partner's sadism).

Pseudo-submissive non-slave

Not into even playing “slave”, but into other “submissive” role-playing, e.g.: schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.

Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave

Likes to play at being slave. Likes to *feel* subservient; may in some cases like to *feel* that one is being “used” to gratify one's partner's sadism; and may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave's” own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).

True submissive non-slave

Really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed upon limits), but gets his/her main satisfaction from aspects of submission *other than* serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up of responsibility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her/his own *direct* pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).

True submissive PLAY slave

Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief “scenes” and within limits) and gets his/her main satisfaction from serving and being used by the dominant - but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. (May or may not be into pain, but if so, is turned on by pain *indirectly*, ie: enjoys being the objects of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places few requirements or restrictions.)

Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave

Really gives up control (though usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/ erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one's Mistress/Master, but, either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he or she will serve.

Part-time consensual but REAL slave

Has ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship, and regards oneself as the Mistress'/Master's “property” at all times. Wants to obey and please her/him in all aspects of life - practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic. Devotes most of one's time to other commitments (eg: job) but the Mistress/Master has first pick of the slave's free time.

Full-time live-in consensual slave

Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress'/Master's use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male (since men certainly aren't socially pressured into this kind of lifestyle). Within the S/M world, a full-time “slave” arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.

Consensual total slave with no limits

A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the “consent” is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely *anything* for your Mistress/ Master, with no limits at all. There are a few who claim to be no-limits slaves, but in all cases it would be reasonable to doubt the claim.

Article: Missbitch CollarNuffs.com

Which of the Nine Degrees are you?

The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist
Pseudo-submissive non-slave
Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave
True submissive non-slave
True submissive PLAY slave
Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave
Part-time consensual but REAL slave
Full-time live-in consensual slave
Consensual total slave with no limits
None of the above/ don't know
Created with PollMaker

8 May 2018

Karl Marx is still relevant today - and we need him more now than ever before.

Is Marx Still Relevant?, by Peter Singer

On the 200th anniversary of Karl Marx's birth on May 5, 1818, it isn't far-fetched to suggest that his predictions have been falsified, his theories discredited, and his ideas rendered obsolete. So why should we care about his legacy in the twenty-first century?

In my opinion... We need Marx more than ever. Capitalism in its current form within the UK causes great inequality and an utter demoralisation of the population. Society has become so accustomed and familiar with the disparity and injustice caused by our current capitalist path, that they no longer acknowledge the reality of the situation. Instead, many have become so indoctrinated by media and political propaganda; they believe poverty is the result of idle, incompetent citizens who did it to themselves.

We have created a civilization of people who absorbed government misinformation that the poor were to blame for their failure to embrace globalisation and capitalism. If one follows the unwritten rules of the social order, all will prosper. As long as Mr Jones works hard, earns an income, pays tax on this income - then more tax when he spends and fritters his earnings to accrue merchandise of fancy to boost the economy, invests in insurance in case of death, unemployment or ill health, buys a house, a car….and he is strict in following the guidelines set out… He will become a perfect citizen, prosperous, free and blinkered to the reality which surrounds him.

1 May 2018



Gary McLachlan LLB, LLM
Ph.D Student, Exeter University

In this paper I use the political theories of Hannah Arendt, as well as critical legal theory which argues against assumptions based in liberal theory[1] to re-evaluate sexual offences (BDSM)[2] and touch on the principles which regulate speech, outside of the dialogue on 'freedom of expression' as a human right.
Firstly I set out a series of legal tests which arise from consideration of the cases and theories, and test them against fact, theory and case law to determine the concepts of ethics, motive, consent and capacity within the criminal justice system, as well as examining the existence of consequences. Consequences are included since that allows the determination of answers that would fit within the framework of restorative justice.[3]

The argument is driven from an Arendtian perspective, but with the inclusion of elements of dignity discourse in equality law so that the focus of the law includes values of self-worth and self-respect both for the victim and the perpetrator. Since the offences are constructed from the actions of those taking part in BDSM sexual encounters, the victim here is normally also taken as a perpetrator. Since it is an Arendtian perspective I have assumed that no legal solution is possible until a political solution is created; that law and politics exist to serve different ends.

I would like to thank Chris Ashford[4] and Matthew Burton[5] for their thoughts and comments on an earlier draft of this work; any errors that remain are entirely my own responsibility.

30 Apr 2018

What Female Dominants Are Really Looking For

I would like to thank Mistress Ren for this wonderful piece.

It was just another night. There was nothing decent on the television, and I
had already rented just about everything at the video store. So, I decided to pass the evening online.

As I chatted with friends and did a little research, a box appeared in the
corner of my AOL screen: an instant message. I glanced up to see an unfamiliar name, and a very familiar theme….

 "Hello Mistress. i beg of You to forgive me for this intrusion. (bowing naked before the beautiful Mistress).  i am a submissive male seeking a Mistress. i wish only to follow Your every command……i LIVE to please You. Please allow me to be Your unworthy slave. i promise i will follow Your every command. i will crawl across broken glass for You…i will shave my head in tribute to You…i will carve Your initials on my scrotum… i am Yours to use and abuse. Please, beautiful Mistress…"

On the other end of the line, my newly discovered `submissive' is longing to hear me say, "YES slave!! You are MINE!!! Grovel for me and prove your unworthiness, WORM!"

My true reaction? I sighed heavily, shook my head in disbelief, and then responded:

 "Good evening.  I am well, thank you for asking. Yes, the weather IS lovely here in Maine tonight. Would I like to chat with you a few minutes?
Yes….thank you for asking…."

At which point, the reply I usually receive is a well thought out:  "Huh?? What??"

Being a female Dominant, especially one who occasionally ventures online, is NOT an easy task. Ask any Domme you know - I'll bet they have received more than a few instant messages like the one above.
Many submissive males, especially those online, seem to believe that all female Dominants are looking for a compliant, powerless submissive who will prostrate themselves 24 hours a day. These men mistakenly feel that the only way women will be interested in accepting them, as their submissive, is if they show their submission constantly and strongly. After all, a Domme seeks a partner who will never speak unless spoken to, never show his intellect, never look her in the eyes, and never, never, never wants to be treated as her equal.



26 Apr 2018

A list of online resources for transgender people, their family and friends. -update

A list of online resources for transgender people and their family and friends

Culture and community

The site is run by volunteers and a not for profit organisation We are the most up to date resource for the UK and online based support groups; users can find a local group and even message them directly from our site using the "Contact Group" button. We don't store any details and the site is secured by SSL.

We're verifying and adding groups on an ongoing basis with our next focus being online groups with Discord Servers, Telegram and Facebook groups becoming increasingly popular to compliment those that meet up in person.

The Angels
Forum 'supporting the TG community'.

Club Wotever
A London bar space for trans, queer, LGBT people and their friends, with an emphasis on queer/trans performance.

Deep Stealth Productions
Founded by Calpernia Addams and Andrea James, Deep Stealth strives for positive media representation of trans people.

Gendered Intelligence
Creative workshops, arts programmes, conferences and youth group sessions.

'A unique digital magazine which brings you the very best of trans and genderqueer news, advice and entertainment'.

The 'national transgender celebration' which takes place in Manchester every year.

Trans Media Watch
Aims to combat prejudiced or sensationalist media reporting of trans issues, and offer advice to people or organisations.

Former London-based organisation devoted to transgender performance art, with an interesting archive.

Online forum for the trans community.

Female-to-male (FtM)

FTM International
A comprehensive website for the female-to-male community, offering information about healthcare, law, events and family support.

FTM Network
A British-based site acting as a friendship/support group for FtM transgender and transsexual people.

FTM Resource Guide
For trans men and friends, with tips on hormones, grooming, clothing, surgery and more.

UK-based FtM lifestyle forum.

Original Plumbing
US magazine 'dedicated to the sexuality and culture of FtM trans guys'.

'The internet's magazine for transgender men'.

History and politics

The Empire Strikes Back
Trans woman Sandy Stone's spirited rebuttal of Janice Raymond's book The Transsexual Empire (1979). This essay is one of the key texts of the 90s trans rights movement.

Genderqueer Revolution
For people beyond gender binaries.

Gender Variance Who's Who
'Essays on trans, intersex, cis and other persons and topics from a trans perspective'. Includes plenty of further reading, with a list of international trans resources.

Intersex UK
Committed to human rights for intersex people.

Just Plain Sense – The Trans Tapes
Interviews by Christine Burns with a variety of trans people.

Press For Change
Political lobbying and educational organisation campaigning for equality and human rights for British trans people through legislation and social change. The original website is archived here.

Sylvia Rivera Law Project
US-based organisation seeking to raise the voices of marginalised trans people.

Trans London
London discussion group.

Transgender Day of Remembrance
Observed every 20 November to commemorate victims of transphobic violence.

Women Born Transsexual
'For people who recognise transsexualism as an innate condition rather than a gender identity disorder'.

Medical services and healthcare

Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic online support group uk.groups.yahoo.com
A discussion group for those who have used the Gender Identity Clinic at Charing Cross.

Mind OUT
Service for LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people with mental health concerns.

National archives – Gender Identity
Department of Health documents relating to gender identity.

NHS Choices
The NHS page on gender dysphoria, covering terminology, symptoms and treatment.

Trans Health
Magazine covering health and fitness issues.

Transhealth UK
The London Gender Clinic, the UK's largest private service.

World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)
Professional organisation devoted to 'the understanding and treatment of gender identity disorders'. Originally named after pioneering physician Harry Benjamin, WPATH produces the ethical guidelines and standards of care for professionals working with patients with gender identity issues.

Support groups and information

The Beaumont Society
National self-help body run by and for those who cross-dress or are transsexual, and for their partners.

Clare Project
Brighton-based support group 'open to anyone wishing to explore issues around gender identity'.

Support group for families and friends of transsexual people in the UK.

Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES)
Information for trans people, their families and medical professionals.

Gender Trust
Organisation which supports adults whose lives are affected by gender identity issues, as well as families and employers of transsexual or transgender people.

Family and individual support for teenagers and children with gender identity issues.

Scottish Transgender Alliance
Support for trans people, equality organisations, policymakers and employers in Scotland.

Susan's Place
A comprehensive collection of online transgender resources, allowing people to add links/information themselves.

Trans Resource & Empowerment Centre
Based in Manchester, with monthly meetings, talks and workshops.

Transgender Zone
Comprehensive website including medical information, a guide to venues and opinion about transgender representation in the media for both MtFs and FtMs.

Transsexual Road Map
An excellent free guide to process of transitioning, and the social issues around it.

Courtesy of Juliet Jacques guardian.co.uk, Thursday 29 November 2012

16 Apr 2018

Mistresses, Madams and Super-Heroes

(Long Article)

La cérémonie

“Mistresses, Madams and Super-Heroes: The Rising Affection for the Dominatrix” 

In a previous publication, with the audience studies on-line research journal Participations, I listed a short range of stereotypes found in popular culture of practitioners in the BDSM ‘scene’ – BDSM referring to Bondage, Domination and Sadomasochism, a range of practices and lifestyles which are part of the playing out of narratives or scenarios of power exchange, both sexual and non-sexual, for the pleasure of all involved. These stereotypes I labelled: the Mature Dominatrix and her typical partner, the Young Male Sub; also the Vamp Dominatrix and the Public Authority Male Sub. The Mature Dominatrix is a sexually rapacious yet motherly figure, often from a working-class background, epitomised – or perhaps established in our imagination by – the great British madam, Cynthia Payne. Typically, this stereotype will be seen with her binary opposite, the naïve, weedy Young Male Sub who is humiliated by her admonishments and punishments. The Vamp Dominatrix is a more enchanting, sensational stereotype, she is younger and more attractive and is more likely to appear to be middle or upper class, or perhaps an exotic Other from France or Japan. She is far more dangerous in her practices than the Mature Dominatrix, and so is easily able to take in hand the Public Authority Male Sub in his more hard-core punishments. He requires, and can afford, relief from his important role in society as judge, politician, senior police officer, and so forth. The Mature Dominatrix typically appears as part of a satirical comic episode or advertisement, and whilst the Vamp Dominatrix also appears in such an episode, the laugh is more on the Male Sub than on the dangerous female herself. It is not too hard to see that part of the popular consumption of these stereotypes, one of the things that allows them to be popular, is the satirising of the normative behaviour of the masculine male by causing him to submit to a dominant female. The submissive female does not conform to our sensibilities: the woman who wishes to submit to a dominant male, despite being in a role-played SM scenario may be regarded as setting back feminism about fifty years.

Today, I would like to move on from these stereotypes to explore representations of the Dominatrix in the context of representations of women, apply some key critical frameworks and highlight some other roles and environments in which she operates, sometimes under a very different guise. Very little is written about the Dominatrix as represented in the media, and what can be found is within relatively recent work that is principally concerned with the increase of ‘tough’ or ‘dominant’ roles for women in the movies from the 1980s onwards, and it is to some of these sources that I would like to turn before I propose a number of things.