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Showing posts with label AMUSING OR WHIMSICAL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AMUSING OR WHIMSICAL. Show all posts

26 May 2015

Misogynists are losing it. Mad Max: Fury Road angers "Men's Rights Activists"

via giphy.com
To be honest, these little boys have not learned their place. They are hiding behind the glass shield of men's rights, which will do them no good - in the end. 

Thank you to: David Futrelle - www.wehuntedthemammoth.com

"So you may have heard vague rumours that there’s a new Mad Max film coming out. You also may have heard that it stars Charlize Theron as a shaven-headed post apocalyptical badass named Furiosa alongside Tom Hardy as Mr. Max.

Well, the manly men of the Manospshere are having none of it. On the always terrible Return of Kings, the most-trafficked blog in the Manosphere, YouTube bloviator Aaron Clarey issues a clarion call to his fellow right-thinking men, urging them to

Not only REFUSE to see the movie, but spread the word to as many men as possible. … Because if [men] sheepishly attend and Fury Road is a blockbuster, then you, me, and all the other men (and real women) in the world will never be able to see a real action movie ever again that doesn’t contain some damn political lecture or moray about feminism, SJW-ing, and socialism.

Er, “moray?”


31 Mar 2015

A 'whoops' or not. Internet surfing and the badly placed advertising.

 Firstly, I ask you..... What do you see in the web snippet below???





OK.... This is what I see: 




WEB: www.sinfulandwicked.co.uk MOB: 07426 490 214 TWITTER: @sinfulandwicked

30 Mar 2015

A Field Guide to Procrastinators


This comic from twenty Pixels came out a couple of weeks ago, but I'm just now getting around to sharing it with you. But that's nothing compared to how long it took 20px to actually get around to drawing it! 

Which kind of procrastinator are you? And don't try to tell us you never put off 'til tomorrow what you should do today. I am at least half of these types












WEB: www.sinfulandwicked.co.uk MOB: 07426 490 214 TWITTER: @sinfulandwicked

10 Oct 2014

The wannabe Dom's complaint

My dearest friend TawnyTrickster on Fetlife wrote this little article on his wall posts - and I loved it... I hope you enjoy it and Join him on Fetlife.

Original post: LINK HERE



Dear Fetlife,

 I joined your site over a week ago and I wish to point out my total dissatisfaction; I haven’t had any sex yet at all.

 I know just what you’re going to say but I fail to see why having no photos and no information on my profile should make any difference. I know for a fact others are the same yet they regularly inform me they’re getting their end away night after night.

 I joined and posted in at least half a dozen groups. My advert was short and to the point, “Kneel before me slut and suck my cock.” What’s not understandable about that? Not a single reply let alone a chance to fool around with a sweet young gal.

 I listed myself as a Dom (and what is it with all this weird capitalisation?) as I’m a man so obviously I can’t be anything else. Why do the subs not submit to me? Surely I should be inundated with offers of rumpy-pumpy? I’d have expected all the ladies to be begging me to slip them a hot beef injection? Nada.

 I see numerous old, short, fat and bald guys listed as playing with gorgeous girls half their age; how do they do that? Come on ladies, I’m a much better bet for a bit of banging! I’m young, fit, I’ll even send you pics of my cock to impress the hell out of you; what better invite could you receive for some jiggery-pokery?

 This is a place where I can find someone to dance the buttocks jig with right? Get some action going? Dip the wick? Come on you bitches, help a guy hit a home run. There must be someone out there as desperate as I am. Drop me a line here, I’ll even come to your place – my mom doesn’t like me having girls over anyway – and I can fill your juicebox for you with my creamy love liquid.

 Oh, so you want me to actually learn about this lifestyle, put some effort into it… Next you’ll want me to go on a voyage of self-discovery. I’m 19 years old FFS! I know what I want. Sheesh, all this just to get an opportunity to introduce the captain to his pie! Well I did read some of the stuff on here and it’s damn hot in places, but I’m more of a doer than a writer myself; I prefer to take a tumble in the hay over having to take the time and trouble to explain my thoughts and feelings to anyone.

 So I guess as I’m not having any luck with dunking my love muscle this maybe isn’t the place for me after all. I’m off to find some sleazy dating sites where I don’t have to pretend to be into the whole BDSM thing to get laid.

 Yours,

 A frustrated wannabe

6 Oct 2014

BDSM in the Writer’s Mind


quote-Janet-Fitch-the-writer-is-both-a-sadist-and-177763

For a little amusement, something to make you smile. 


BDSM in the Writer’s Mind


"After watching Chris dig his belongings out of the dumpster and haul them up four flights of stairs, I wondered how sadistic we, the muses, could possibly be. I’m teasing, he only had to haul it up two flights.

17 Jul 2014

10 Shades of Stupid: Cosmo’s Worst BDSM Tips



I knew this was coming when the cashier in Barnes and Nobles saw me looking at Fifty Shades of Grey and stage-whispered: "I bought that for my mom, and now I'm just terrified that I'm going to go home and find my dad. In a cage. Bleeding or dead." BDSM is like soccer and socialized medicine; fascinating, but hard for a lot of Americans to understand. Cosmo's trying to help with their August issue, which features a twist on their usual bouquet of sex tips: this time, all their tips are inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey.

12 Jun 2014

#Dommes, The irony...... Negative punishment and its effects by UNICEF

I was flicking through the internet when I came across a serious document by UNICEF on punishment titled POSITIVE DISCIPLINE - Negative punishment and its effects. 
( BELOW IS THE FULL ARTICLE )

I absolutely understood why it was produced and how important it is for our children to experience a positive environment, positive reinforcement and positive discipline in schools and from their parents.

On the other hand, as I read through the examples of negative punishment I couldn't help smiling at the thought of My submissives.

How wonderful that We as Dommes can and do sometimes use Negative punishment. Here is some examples:

Forced acts that are physically painful or damaging (holding a weight for a long time, kneeling on stones, standing or sitting in a contorted position). CHECK!!

Confinement, being tied up or being forced to remain in one place for an extended period of time. CHECK!!


Verbal assaults, humiliation, ridicule and assaults on dignity, intended to reduce a child’s confidence, self esteem or dignity.

It is worth reading the full article with the submissive in mind....

21 May 2014

JUST FOR FUN: What have you enjoyed (or will enjoy ) watching so far this year?


A little bit of fun.... TV was not somthing I engaged in often, but recently there have been some good (addictive) shows on. I have to admit, my Sky box was recording them all - the ones I enjoyed or knew I would enjoy... 

Here is my list (no particular order)


  • The Walking Dead 
  • Hannibal 
  • True Detective 
  • Banshee 
  • Dracula 
  • Blacklist 
  • Penny Dreadful 
  • Rake


Just for fun, here is a survey of how you liked them (if you watched them) and add your own.



Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.

3 Jan 2014

2014 Resolutions for a Top.



I am sure we all know these simple points, but I always try to re-read them at the start of a new year. 

Be Patient
Finesse and subtlety are major elements of dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go hand in hand. The sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that you show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom.

Be Humble
No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a scene. Don't set yourself up for a failure by developing expectations that you know you can never reach.

Be Open
Although the top is classically considered to be the teacher in SM, you can always learn from your bottom, no matter how inexperienced. Be willing to learn from other dominants who may have a totally different perspective from yours.

Communicate
Find out basic, essential information about the people you play with, such as experience, limits, likes and dislikes, and health information. Playing SM without this knowledge is like Russian Roulette. Clearly spell out roles, rules, limits and contracts. Do not take for granted that your bottom instinctively knows the ground rules.

Be Honest
If you lack experience in an area that your bottom would like to experiment with, be honest about it. Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels at which you are completely in control of the situation. Safety should always be the first concern.

Be Sensitive
There's a very fine line between a sensitive, caring dominate and a self-righteous, insensitive overbearing clod. Your scene should be a creative synthesis of you needs and fantasies, and your bottoms needs and fantasies. Although, on the surface, your submissive is serving you, what actually is happening is that dominant and submissive are serving each other. Earn the complete trust of your submissive and never violate or even threaten to violate that trust. His or her submission is a gift to you. Use it appropriately.

Be Realistic
End the scene with the bottom wanting more, not wishing there had been less. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the keys. Be clear about what fantasy really is and that it has little to do with what works in practice.

Be Really Dominant
Submissives are looking for someone who will take over their body and mind, not just for brute strength. Real people are wanted, not just cardboard images from ads or stereotypes. Your dominance enhances you whole existence. It does not cover up or substitute for other areas of your life - it is you. Follow up on rules, expect obedience, and punish appropriately when it is called for. Don¹t shirk your responsibility. Be dependable and expect dependability. You have agreed to take the dominant role - now take it!

Be Healthy
Like any strenuous activity, SM requires that its participants be in top physical and emotional health. Many factors, including the amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake affect your performance and endurance during a scene. Don¹t attempt to do SM when your physical or emotional energy is low. As a dominant you have a special responsibility to be in control of yourself and on top of the scene.

Have Fun

After all, it's all about having a good time. You have earned, and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasures which come from responsible, creative SM play!

5 Aug 2013

"Domme vs. dumme"


There is a terrible injustice that has happened to the world of the true Dominatrix.  Those of Us who understand the Art of BDSM and the D/s relationship have been confused with the wave of barely teenage, hoochies with whips and without a clue.  I present the following to clarify the difference between REAL Dommes and what I call “dummes” ~ those who are too limited to acquire proper technique, cultivate submissive training, and educate themselves to the nuances of The Scene.

Although I have presented this article with a focus on the Feminine, the same concepts apply to "Masters" and "musters", (those who attempt to "muster up" a façade of Dominance) but with a testosteronic (yes, I took the liberty to create that word) mania.

I make it clear that in no uncertain terms do I present that Professional Dominatrices are "dummes", although far too many are corroding the concept and the honor of being a Domme.

I'm sure I will ruffle quite a few feathers with My views and experiences.  However,  it would be advantageous to read "submissive vs. substandard" for a better understanding and self-realization.

27 May 2013

FIVE THINGS I HATE ABOUT BEING A DOMINATRIX IN THE SUMMER.


By Troy Orleans 08.23.05

"Normally, I love my job. I've been a journalist, an editor, a marketing associate, even a radio DJ, but I've never been more intellectually, emotionally and physically stimulated by a job as I have since becoming a professional Dominatrix.

While I could easily rattle off my favourite things about Domming, the heat's got me -- and most Dommes -- pretty cranky. Every day I get an IM from a Mistress friend bitching about how it's too hot to play. How their leather whips are moldering in the humidity. How even if they wanted to play, business is so slow they've had to resort to playing power games with the unwitting guy at the bodega.

Myself, I keep hearing the line from that Siouxsie and the Banshees song, "At 92 degrees, people just get irritable!" Though the Dominatrix stereotype is a screaming shrew with a whip, most of us don't play that game. I'm a sadist, but I'm not a bitch. Since I've got a rep to protect, though, rather than take my frustrations out on my clients, here's a little vent about the five things I hate the most about being a Domme in the summertime.

#1. Whose schedule am I on?

Dommes are glorified freelancers. We may be control freaks, but we're still, when it comes right down to it, in the service industry. So when summer rolls around, we're at the mercy, more so than usual, of our clients' summer schedules. In the battle between golf games, vacations, weekend getaways, traffic jams, half-day Fridays, company outings, kids' summer camp and interleague softball, and the Dominatrix, sad to say, but life usually wins. Your average dungeon is like a ghost town on Saturdays in August.

So what's a Domme to do? Go somewhere she won't be taken for granted. We look for the under served cities that don't get a lot of Domme traffic. You wanna hear kinky? My summer travel plans have included such glamorous vacation hot spots as Cleveland, Detroit, Houston, Las Vegas and New Orleans. New-freakin'-Orleans. In AUGUST! How perverted is THAT?

#2. Even masochists take a break.

Just before Memorial Day, it starts. "Mistress, I'm going to the beach next weekend, so I can't take any marks." By July, even my hardcore maso clients are so prissy about the possibility of getting a mark, I'm "torturing" them with ice cubes. In the last couple of months, I've gotten some really great corporal gear -- a rubber cane, a couple of cool whips -- but I've yet to have a good workout with any of them.

On the bright side, the "no marks" rule does inspire some creative torments. Wrapping him in head to toe with medical bandages, like a mummy … then turning off the A/C. Finding unusual, discreet places to insert needles and other sharp objects. Using a bigger dildo. Forcing him to masturbate with Icy Hot. And my personal favourite: Figging (shoving a large knuckle of peeled ginger where the sun don't shine). Ouch!

#3. Skunky sweat.

While I have, on occasion, treated a good boy to a smothering under my stinky armpit or sweaty ass, it is an entirely different torture when a client comes in bathed in eau de funk. I don't know what it is about male pervs, but almost all of them seem to sweat WAY more than is normal. I'm this close to telling one of my favourite clients to stay away from me until the temperature goes under 70 because he sweats so profusely, I can't stand to touch him.

Even worse are the genuinely smelly ones. It's odd how certain seemingly deep-pocketed clients apparently can't afford to buy soap or deodorant. Or maybe he just thinks that since he's paying me, it shouldn't matter what he smells like. Fortunately, we Mistresses have recourse. A little iced latte-and-asparagus piss shower makes a rather declarative statement -- without leaving any visible marks! And, no, you may not shower afterwards, smelly pants piss-slut.

#4. Wearing any kind of fetish gear is out of the question.

When the thermostat's set to "Hell," there is no fucking way I'm putting on any latex. Or leather. Or even my super sexy, custom fitted PVC catsuit (which arrived in May and is STILL unworn). Normally I get all bent out of shape when a new client asks me to wear lingerie in session. "If you want scantily clad domination, why don't you go see a stripper?" is my usual retort. "She can tease you, give you blue balls and take all your money."

But when it's Africa-hot like it has been for the last few weeks, I have no problem playing in my bra and panties as long as my skin stays away from yours. Except when I'm kicking you in the balls.

#5. The sweat fetishists.

The sweaty clients are pretty gross. Even worse are the clients who get off on sweaty Dommes. Summertime brings out the sweat fetishists, pervy callers who ask if they can lick the sweat off my body. I can barely stand to be touched when I'm hot. So the LEAST erotic thing in the world is having someone run their hot, pasty tongue all over my skin. I don't care how devourably sexy he is.

And if a guy can take his hand off his dick long enough to think about it, would you really want to lick a Mistress who caters to sweat fetishists? Me, I'm just thinking about how many tongues might have booked before me. Gross!"

20 Apr 2013

House Plants of Gor


I found this little story on Evil Monk  -  I found it amusingly true to some BDSM submissives.


by Ellerol Elvish




The spider plant cringed as its owner brought forth the watering can. "I am a spider plant!" it cried indignantly. "How dare you water me before my time! Guards!" it called. "Guards!"

Borin, its owner, placed the watering can on the table and looked at it. "You will be watered," he said.

"You do not dare to water me!" laughed the plant.

"You will be watered," said Borin.

"Do not water me!" wept the plant.

"You will be watered," said Borin.

I watched this exchange. Truly, I believed the plant would be watered. It was plant, and on Gor it had no rights. Perhaps on Earth, in its permissive society, which distorts the true roles of all beings, which forces both plant and waterer to go unhappy and constrained, which forbids the fulfilment of owner and houseplant, such might not happen. Perhaps there, it would not be watered. But it was on Gor now, and would undoubtedly feel it's true place, that of houseplant. It was plant. It would be watered at will. Such is the way with plants.

Borin picked up the watering can, and mushily watered the plant. The plant cried out. "No, Master! Do not water me!" The master continued to water the plant. "Please, Master," begged the plant, "do not water me!" The master continued to water the plant. It was plant. It could be watered at will.

The plant sobbed muchly as Borin laid down the watering can. It was not pleased. Too, it was wet. But this did not matter. It was plant.

"You have been well watered," said Borin.

"Yes," said the plant, "I have been well watered." Of course, it could be watered by its master at will.

"I have watered you well," said Borin.

"Yes, master," said the plant. "You have watered your plant well. I am plant, and as such I should be watered by my master."

The cactus plant next to the spider plant shuddered. It attempted to cover its small form with its small arms and small needles. "I am plant," it said wonderingly. "I am of Earth, but for the first time, I feel myself truly plant like. On Earth, I was able to control my watering. I often scorned those who would water me. But they were weak, and did not see my scorn for what it was, the weak attempt of a small plant to protect itself. Not one of the weak Earth waterers would dare to water a plant if it did not wish it. But on Gor," it shuddered, "on Gor it is different. Here, those who wish to water will water their plants as they wish. But strangely, I feel myself most plant like when I am at the mercy of a strong Gorean master, who may water me as he pleases."

"I will now water you," said Borin, the cactus's Gorean master.

The cactus did not resist being watered. Perhaps it was realizing that such watering was its master's to control. Too, perhaps it knew that this master was far superior to those of Earth, who would not water it if it did not wish to be watered.

The cactus's watering had been finished. The spider plant looked at it.

"I have been well watered," it said.

"I, too, have been well watered," said the cactus.

"My master has watered me well," said the spider plant.

"My master, too, has watered me well," said the cactus.

"I am to be placed in a hanging basket on the porch," said the spider plant.

"I, too, am to be placed in a hanging basket on the porch," said the cactus.

"I wish you well," said the spider plant.

"I, too, wish you well," said the cactus.

"Tal," said the spider plant.

"Tal, too," said the cactus.

I did not think that the spider plant would object to being watered by its master again. For it realized that it was plant, and that here, unlike on Earth, it was likely to be owned and watered by many masters.

Practice makes perfect

Resulting form the lack of effectiveness in work while wearing shackles, I did promise Mistress to practice more at home when I have time an...