There is a terrible injustice that has happened to the world
of the true Dominatrix. Those of Us who
understand the Art of BDSM and the D/s relationship have been confused with the
wave of barely teenage, hoochies with whips and without a clue. I present the following to clarify the
difference between REAL Dommes and what I call “dummes” ~ those who are too
limited to acquire proper technique, cultivate submissive training, and educate
themselves to the nuances of The Scene.
Although I have presented this article with a focus on the
Feminine, the same concepts apply to "Masters" and
"musters", (those who attempt to "muster up" a façade of
Dominance) but with a testosteronic (yes, I took the liberty to create that
word) mania.
I make it clear that in no uncertain terms do I present that
Professional Dominatrices are "dummes", although far too many are
corroding the concept and the honor of being a Domme.
I'm sure I will ruffle quite a few feathers with My views
and experiences. However, it would be advantageous to read
"submissive vs. substandard" for a better understanding and
self-realization.
Philosophy
A Domme learns technique and takes the Fetish Arts
seriously. Our focus is more on the
thrill of Play and the fulfillment of Our lives in The Scene (and in general)
than anything else. Dommes have friends
in the Lifestyle with whom We share Our Fetish Fun. A Domme cultivates Her submissives and
creates their behaviors to be "on point". Our subs truly desire to serve, as is their
purpose, and achieve great fulfillment through service to Us. Dommes are usually highly educated and
indulge in intellectual stimulations. We
always look to learn something new about technique and Play, even if We are
considered to be experts. BDSM is not
just kink to Us; it is an expression of part of Our Highest Selves in balance
with the world around Us.
A dumme is usually (pardon the expression) a "dungeon
whore" who actually believes that the "dungeon master" is not
just a pimp in disguise. (It annoys Me
that it is necessary for Me to state that not every Domme who "does
dungeons" is a whore, but considering the deteriorating state of The Scene
today, it had to be done.) A dumme's
focus is on acquisition of as much material as she can get and quickly goes
through the "trolls" who flock to get what they can from the new kid
on the block. Where even those
"1-hour sessions" provide the opportunity to train clients in the
minimal of Scene protocols, dummes jump right into role play and neglect the
duty of a Dominant to The Scene to convey even the slightest instruction --
usually because dummes do not know anything about protocols themselves. In doing so, dummes ruin the respect for the
rest of Us in The Scene who have to endure the ignorance of their clients being
led to believe that being submissive is paying for what "they"
want. dummes seldom have Scene friends;
they usually have Scene associates who are "working the room" with
them.
Attitude
This is not to say that some Dommes don't have stink
attitudes (I know more than a few), but most Dommes have social skills of some
kind. We know how to be cordial and
respectful to other Dominants (even if We don't care for Them) and to proper
submissives. Dommes adhere to Scene
protocols and take care to maintain the reputations We want to be known
for. Most importantly, A Domme knows
that Dominance begins with control of Oneself.
Dommes are noticed and admired when We enter a room.
On the other hand, dummes usually believe that to be a brat
is a sign of Dominance, when, in fact, it is a sign of poor home training and a
lack of self-esteem. They make the
terrible mistake of thinking that this behavior can be expressed to everyone at
any time, even to other Dominants. The
care that goes into creating the dynamic of a D/s relationship is a foreign
concept to most dummes, and they add to the misinterpretation of
"sensual" to be equated with "sexual".
Presentation
A Domme gives forethought to Her presentation of Herself and
Her Displays of Play. Her sophistication
comes from respecting Herself and Her Fetish Arts. She embodies the term "Goddess" by
being Herself a Work of Art with Her appearance, intelligence, education and
social grace. A Domme does not accept
just any ol' sub. Quality Dommes have
quality subs or choose to have none at all.
A Domme controls Herself first and will even anger with eloquence. We will leave an ugly situation rather than
"make ugly", although there may be some exceptions. Dommes socialize to contribute to what the
Scene has to offer.
A dumme experiences life from a lower form of energy. Therefore, she attracts a lower energy and
appeals to a lower level of The Scene.
Art is missing as floggers flail without skill and her only
consideration is how much damage she can inflict on the masochist. This woman is predominantly a sinister
kinkster surrounded by trolls and sex seekers.
A dumme usually finds it necessary to be the center of attention in
brash, braggadocious ways. This behavior
that dummes present to The Scene is more of an attempt to convince themselves
that they are Dominants than it is to impress others. dummes are appreciated when they leave a
room. Their need for attention is always
expressed publicly with "drama" ~ and usually ugly drama. dummes mistakenly believe that this type of
attention brands them as Dominant, when all it does is brand them as
distasteful. dummes socialize to take
what they can from The Scene and to find clients.
Play
A Domme has definite structure to how She conducts Her
scenes. She carefully orchestrates them
around Her areas of expertise and engages the submissive to ride along the
edges of his limitations while always respecting them. As I mentioned, a Domme is an Artist and Her
goal is to create splendor in Her scenes; however She may express Her Art: from
sensual to extreme. A submissive
accepted for Play presents himself for Her pleasure and is rewarded for
fulfilling them. Tributes are offerings
for the opportunity to serve and please the Domme according to Her wishes. There is self-realization and evolution for
both the Domme and the submissive through the dynamic She creates in Play.
A dumme begins her scenes with the "submissive"
saying what he wants; sometimes disguised in terms like, "i'm
into..." The goal is the tribute in
whatever form it takes and/or to have an audience. Scenes are a means to an end where a dumme
tries to reinforce her belief that she has established herself as dominant and
to fulfill the desperate need for attention and validation. Whatever gratification occurs is usually
material and/or kink-sexual for the Players.
There is no opportunity for expansion of self for anyone.
Conclusion
Ultimately, a Domme respects The Scene as an integral part
of Her lifestyle where dummes use The Scene as a filler for what is missing in
their lives and personal development.
I find it interesting that quite a few dummes use The Scene
to achieve higher goals, such as putting themselves through school, and then
leave The Scene completely. I say,
"Good for them" because (1) they are leaving The Scene (one less
destroyer of The Scene's integrity) and (2) they are moving on to what they
truly want to fulfill their lives.
Perhaps, they will be able to offer something valuable to the Whole and
find happiness. I hope so.
If I had My way, dummes would not be allowed to call
themselves "Mistresses" as their practices are diminishing the
meritorious stature of Dommes. There
would be a different term for dummes, especially to separate the hoochie from
the True Goddess.
No comments:
Post a Comment