Domme + sub. The most honest relationship you will ever have.

The relationship between a Domme and a submissive is probably the most honest relationship there is. There is no need for lies and half truths or secrets. This fact is not always on the forefront of my daily thoughts, but occasionally something is said or acted upon which reminds me just how open and honest a BDSM relationship can be.

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of one of my long term submissives kneeling before my feet. We had just finished an hour's intense session and we were winding down, discussing the session and catching a few minutes of calmness. 

My submissive looked at me and said. "Mistress, you are the one person on this earth that I can be truly myself. Be truly open and honest with you. I can talk about issues in my daily life which are problematic . Share my most inner thoughts with you. I don't have to pretend about who or what I am. I can be me."

I am not often speechless or void of an instant reflective comment.The brutal sincerity and openness between a sub and Domme is something I know well. His comments slapped me into remembering this much taken for granted fact, and like a long forgotten ache, I had the realisation that I had grown complacent to the wonders of such an sincere and straightforward relationship.

As Dommes, we are not singularly defined or characterised by our skill with a bull whip. And our subs are not simply our play things - to degrade, humiliate and hurt then throw away. We become their counsellors. Their trusted confidant. A friend whom they can trust without question. Our responsibilities as Dommes grows from safe, sane and consensual to encompass spiritual, mental and emotional wellbeing.

I am glad I was reminded about how special a BDSM relationship can be, how difficult if not impossible  it can be to find anything resembling this openness in the vanilla world,  because the vanilla world is the fictional picket fenced country house. Full of insecurities, lies and deceptions.  Bdsm allows one to be free - in thought and structure. Free from casual social restraints, cultural binds and moral servitude.