What is the Reality & what is the fantasy?

Having a conversation with a friend one day, she asked me a question:

 'Are you really the one in control with your clients? I mean, since you are a Professional Dom, aren't your clients really in control?'

The question has rolled around in my head for weeks. I have argued with myself the different answers, the theory, the philosophy.. I came to the conclusion that she is correct. In actual fact, I am not the 'Top'. I am at their mercy. They are the ones in control, not me.

I can hear Dom's shouting in disgust and disbelief. I can hear them saying; 'We are Dom's, we are the dominant power exchangers. We have slaves, subs. they kneel before us and weep.' Yes, they may well kneel and weep in front of us during a session, but, if you dissect the situation to it's core, WE are their slaves.

You may ask how I came to this conclusion.



I am a working dominatrix. My clients offer me tributes of my choosing for my time, but for that they now own me, be it for an hour, two hours, a week. They will tell you their fantasy. You will listen. They will request areas they would like to participate in. They will convey the things they will not do, cannot do. They have lists of wants and needs which need to be addressed. They have scenarios in mind. Situations they want to find them selves in. They are the controllers of their fantasy. I become the tool with which they achieve their needs. If I cannot satisfy that need, they will never come back.

So, when the situation is placed into this direct light, am I the dominant? Or am I just allowed to be the Dom during sessions? Does the whole game we play become a situation of my client saying; 'Ok. We are going to play now. For this hour Leyla, you can pretend to be the Dominant and I will be the slave. Remember the things I don't want to do. Remember what I do like and above all, don't forget the poppers?'

The whole question reminded me of primary school. You were Batman, I was Cat woman. Batman had issues he needed to address and Cat Woman was the tool through which he addressed them. I'm not sure if the reality of being a Mistress is as interesting as the fantasy.

Take a random client. Switching of roles takes place during a session. I am called Mistress, worshipped and needed. I can ask them to do anything I want ( as long as it's been ticked off as 'yes, do it!')  Now, imagine I decide to go to that clients place of work - not dressed in latex, but as Mistress Leyla. I wished to see him. I demand X,Y and Z. Would I be given the same worship? Would he rush around making me tea? I don't think so, because we are not playing any more. We are in real life.