What makes a GREAT mistress?

Here is some questions I ask myself on a regular basis: Am I understanding my clients needs? Am I just and fair? Am I a good Mistress? Yes, AM I A Good Mistress? Because If I am not, then I may be doing more damage than good. To me, being a mistress is more than just a job title. It's a profession like any other. I have to be on top of my game.

I often make a list of the basic qualities of a good mistress in my mind and check through them. By basic qualities, I refer to a common list of qualities which every Mistress should possess.

Control
Above all, a good Mistress is always in control of herself. She does not rant or rave, and never punishes when angry. A mistress MUST have control of her emotions.

Creative
A good Mistress puts time, energy and creativity in her scenes. She is not satisfied playing the same games over and over, and goes the extra length to come up with new and different ideas.

Human
The best Mistress knows she is human. She realises she will make mistakes, and is quick to apologize when she does. On the flip side, she realises that others will make mistakes also.



Technique
A good Domme works on her technique. She knows how to use her equipment and practices frequently.

Consistent
The best Femdomme is consistent in her instructions and requests. She doesn't give her sub conflicting commands. She delivers equal punishment for equal offenses, and equal rewards when pleased. She is firm in her direction and does not waver when faced with a difficult situation.

Thorough
An effective Dominant is thorough. She directs a scene from start to finish to better allow her sub to achieve subspace. She takes away all distractions and decisions... telling her sub what position she desires, what needs she wants fulfilled, and how this is best accomplished.

Respect
A good Mistress respects herself and others. She strives to always project herself in the best possible light, and expects the same from her submissive(s).

Safety
A Domme worth playing with is safe. She is aware of the damage she can cause a submissive and does her best to prevent harm. She knows first-aid and attends classes periodically to keep herself updated.

Communication
A good Domme is an effective communicator. She says what she means, and means what she says. She is specific and chooses her words carefully. She doesn't rant, nag or whine because she knows this shows a lack of control. She states instructions in a clear, easy-to-understand manner.

What makes a 'GREAT' Mistress is the in depth qualities accompanying the basic elements - the psychology OF BDSM, an understanding of the school of thoughts around gender, the Etiology and Psychology of Sadomasochism, the clinical problems clients may feel they face.

Having been in discussions with therapists ( my sister being one ) the basic conclusions we arouse to was that in the world of BDSM, the mistress plays a big role as the therapist to her client. In its most basic element - a Dominatrix is her clients therapist. We do similar work to that of a clinical therapist - just in a different manner.

So, for me, if a dominatrix is not aware of this very important factor, we could be doing more harm than good, because, it is not just about spanking someone, taking the money and waiting for the next sub.