I had a great discussion with a girl friend of a friend the other day.... The basis - Feminism?? The topics we discussed were:
- Prostitution ( I don't like to refer to this in these terms but..)
- One night stands
The four above elements rolled into one giant, painful and ill informed discussion. I am not one to mince my words, hide my views or be ashamed of what I think. If you don't like it - go play somewhere else.
The conversation started where and how I cannot recollect. But it started. With how many one night stands I'd had in my 38 years of life.. The answer was simple. NONE. The reply from the girlfriend of a friend (whom I shall refer to from now on as Amanda) was one of shock.
Amanda: "Serious? None? Why"
Me: "I'm worth more than that."
Amanda: " What do you mean??"
Me: "I'm worth more than a couple of pints of beer!"
Silence.. I asked her how many she'd had ( take note that she is only 29)
Amanda: "Well, I've slept with about 60 blokes."
I nearly choked when she said that was the same as most of her friends.. My mind calculated the averages: Start at 16. Current age 29 = 13 years of sexual activity.. note she'd had 3 long term relationships....number of non active years while in relationship = 6. Wait, I'm getting there...
13 - 6 = 7 years for one night stands = 8 one night stands in a year... WOW
Me: Why so many?
Amanda: "I was drunk, they looked nice......"
Me: You should've got paid for it.. would've made some money! "
This is when she blew! stating she wasn't a prostitute and would never sleep with a man for money. REALLY??? Maths again...8 one night stands in a year over 7 years.... Overnight too I'm guessing...That equates to, say £500 per one night stand.... that's roughly £28,000!!
Me: "There is nothing wrong with being an escort!!"
Amanda: "No..that's distgusting. I'm not a whore!"
I needed to say my piece...
Me: " So, what you're saying is, that you'll sleep with a bloke for a few pints on a night out but never sleep with a bloke for money? But, he is paying you. With cheap drink!"
Amanda: "It's not the same. They liked me...We were attracted to each other!"
Me: "How many liked you enough to see you again?"
Well, I'm sure you can see how the conversation went.. My view is clear. I have a huge respect for women in the sex industry. Yes, there is a lot of women exploited and made to work for little money. I am referring to the women who choose to work this way ( and there are many -friends I know) who DO choose to work in the industry, make money and see it as a career.
Amanda may view one night stands as part of life. I don't. Men need us more than we need them. Not many women would 'pay-for-sex' and when they do, its because they want to - not because they couldn't pull to save their lives, and men who enjoy one night stands - those who can't afford to pay.
What is cheap to me, is Amanda's view that having money put into your hand for sex and money poured down your throat for sex are two different things. They are not. She was being paid for her pussy by blokes who told her she was nice, pretty and sexy. brought her drinks till she was no longer sober, took advantage of her and then threw her out in the morning.
To me, she short changed herself!