When your BDSM lifestyle conflicts with your Vanilla lifestyle.

Mistress Lady Leyla

In all the time I have been a Domme, there is one issue I find I cannot easily help My submissive's with - conflict between their Vanilla & BDSM lives. Many a time I have been confided in by my submissive's  about the conflict they feel, live and anguish over. Most of my submissive's live an ordinary Vanilla lifestyle outside of sessions with Me. They are usually male, happily married and love their wife and family. But they have a secret - as 90% of my submissive's have - and that is their enjoyment of BDSM.

8 Levels of Dominance

The non-Dominant "kinky" lover:

This person is not into power exchange and being in control. They only enjoy the heightened sexuality the D/s scene brings to them.  They feel "safe" in the scene if both the parties involved are having fun.  The normally won't try new things without first being told by the submissive specific things they would enjoy.  Their pleasure is from the sexual activity and not from spanking the submissive or being in control.

The role playing Dominant but not a Master:

People With Fetishes Are Ashamed

It's no wonder. Our society labels anything sexually different as deviant or perverted. These labels hurt deeply to those whose sexual makeup is out of the norm. Fetishists feel weird, ashamed and guilty for their desires. While the fetish provides pleasure and relief, all these people have feelings of shame about being sexually different.

Fetishists are afraid of sharing their secret with a lover. They fear rejection, ridicule or abandonment. Unfortunately, their fears are not unfounded. Oftentimes, people who disclose to their wives or husbands wish they hadn't. Their partners react with shock or embarrassment promoting even more feels of shame and regret.

BDSM Mistress Video

Mistress Leyla by Slidely Slideshow

www.sinfulandwicked.co.uk MOB: 07426 490 214 TWITTER: @sinfulandwicked

Gender and BDSM revisited: Reflections on a decade of researching kink communities

ORIGINAL SOURCE: The British Psychological Society

Preventing Domestic Violence in the Leather/BDSM/Fetish Community

A booklet on abuse within BDSM community and prevention. This is linked to my earlier post BDSM in mainstream and abuse

CLICK TO VIEW LEAFLET

CLICK TO VIEW LEAFLET

In defence of paying for a Dominatrix

"As a professional dominatrix, I'm often drenched by two firehoses of moral invective. One torrent comes from some fellow kinksters, saying that ours is an art to be practised for love, not money; moralists, who say that sex and fetish are unimportant and vulgar, point the other. I feel it is time to speak up about my work's necessity, and about its joy and beauty. Sex is a human need, and kink can be a meaningful part of the sexual spectrum. We sex workers turn the erotic into a humane and powerful art.