Erotic power and pain. Sexuality & BDSM. A therapists point of view

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I'm a Trans Man Who Doesn't 'Pass' — And You Shouldn't Either. Trans people aren't 'passing' as men or women. We're being.

Janet Mock

I'm a Trans Man Who Doesn't 'Pass' - And You Shouldn't Either

Out of all the words in the transgender lexicon, “passing” is the one I hate most. And that’s no small feat.


In our rapidly evolving digital world, language is changing faster than ever. Words that seemed to be standard terminology as little as four years ago are now out of fashion, or even taboo. When I began my gender transition in 2011, for example, I called myself a “transsexual,” a word I no longer use because of its implied connection between gender identity and sexuality. Yet as words like “tranny” slink out of circulation, “passing” remains frustratingly well-used, even among the trans* community.


The term “passing,” when applied to transgender people, means being perceived as cisgender while presenting as one’s authentic gender identity. There’s a lot of power in that. When people meet me and assume that I am a cisgender man, I am afforded the privilege of choosing whether I disclose my transgender identity, and when. Many trans* folks pursue this power through clothing choices, hormones, surgery, voice training, or even etiquette lessons, and I’m all for that.


For many of us, the goal of transition is equally balanced between feeling comfortable in our own skin and showing the world who we really are. The problem is that when trans* people use the word “passing” for what we’ve achieved, it diminishes everything that we’re fighting for.


To “pass” for something immediately connotes deception and untruth. Think of plagiarists passing off someone else’s work as their own, a look-alike cousin who could easily pass for his relative, or the mocking lines of Shakespeare’s Portia in Merchant of Venice: “God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man.”


To look at trans* people expressing their authentic selves and say that they “pass” for men or women is to diminish their identity by implying that it’s an act. Telling a trans* woman that she “passes” is like saying “You’re not a real woman, but good job faking it.”


If that sounds like a slap in the face, well — it is. Yet both transgender people and their allies continue to use this term, despite prominent advocates like Janet Mock speaking out against it. Even articles that call out the term for being controversial and negative will turn around and use it throughout. The problem is that despite the terrible word we use for it, the concept of “passing” is very real, and creates a hierarchy of privilege that can’t be ignored.


We have to talk about the divide between trans* people who have the privilege of choosing disclosure and those who don’t. It’s a divide as stark as any racial barrier, and erasing the conversation about that difference would be a step backward. But we need to change the words that we use, because the term “passing” perpetuates harmful stereotypes that cast trans* people as imposters.


The idea that transgender people are inherently deceptive is not only insulting, it’s dangerous. Perhaps the most famous example of this danger is the case of Gwen Araujo, who was killed after men who had consensual sexual relations with her discovered that she had “male” genitalia. The murderers mounted the “trans panic” defense in court, claiming that this “crime of passion ... did not merit a charge of first degree murder.” And it worked. The men were convicted only of second-degree murder. Although Araujo’s case may be the most famous, it’s far from the only instance of trans* women being attacked by cisgender men who claim they were deceived.


This leaves trans* people stuck in the middle of an impossible divide: If we are easily, visibly identifiable as transgender, we may be insulted, ridiculed, denied jobs or housing, harassed, attacked, or killed. But if we are not so easily picked out of the crowd, we risk an even more vitriolic reaction if we are “discovered” — now we’re not only trans*, we’re liars too.


At the heart of this problem is the word “passing” itself. Language has power. When people tell us — or worse, when we tell ourselves — that we’re only “passing” as men or women, that our identities are a sham or a mask meant to trick the rest of the world, the narrative of deception takes hold. “Trans panic” murders are the most horrifying consequence of this narrative, but it also seeps into everyday life in subtle ways.


This narrative of deception remains a part of public policy, even though transgender people are gaining acceptance and visibility like never before. I came face-to-face with this stereotype the last time I donated blood through the American Red Cross. The volunteers themselves were very kind and helpful, but when I explained that I am transgender, the Red Cross computer system forced the volunteers to go through the entire blood donation questionnaire with me out loud, in person. Normally these questions would be completed by the donor alone, through the computer, which both increases privacy and allows the volunteers to take donations more efficiently.


My volunteer was flummoxed. “I’ve never seen this before,” she told me apologetically. “I don’t know why it’s making you answer all of this out loud!”


I knew why. “Because trans* people are inherently deceptive,” I said with heavy irony. It was humiliating to be treated that way — as if my gender identity, which I had just voluntarily disclosed, meant that I couldn’t be trusted to answer the questions honestly.


The volunteer missed my ironic tone. She turned to me with a concerned, albeit hesitant look. “Oh ... Is that true?”


If I’d answered yes, I’m sure she would have believed me.


This is the stigma that we’re fighting. Transgender people and our allies must not buy into the idea that we are liars, that we’re putting one over on the world, that we can’t be trusted. To paraphrase Janet Mock, we’re not “passing.” We’re being.


Trans* people need a new word to replace “passing.” I prefer "being recognized."


When I’m recognized as male, it means that the people around me can see who I truly am — thanks in part to the hormones, clothing, name, and pronouns I’ve chosen. Being recognized still acknowledges that work on my part and the changes I’ve made to align my gender presentation with my internal gender identity, but it also leaves the power to define that identity in my own hands. I have always been male, even before I knew it myself. When others correctly recognize my gender, they’re not being misled. They are respecting the person I am and the way I choose to show myself to the world.



Transgender people, please: Stop “passing.” Leave the outdated, insulting, and dangerous terminology behind, and let the world recognize your authentic, courageous lives.

TERF - their campaign against trans people - #TERF quotes to make your blood boil.

The TERF movement is particularly effective in their campaigns against trans people and trans equality as they consistently couch their actions as political/feminist/lesbian/radical/womanist critiques of gender and are therefore welcomed in spaces that would reject the same rhetoric from right wing organizations. TERFs routinely enjoy acceptance in progressive environments such as academia and radical left-wing organizations.

So, when these radical criticisers of gender, speak out against trans individuals, our ears burn...and burn...

(LINK TO BELOW: theterfs.com )

Bev Jo: They expect we’ll be shocked to see statistics about them being killed, and don’t realize, some of us wish they would ALL be dead.

Luckynkl: SCAMs (Surgically and Chemically Altered Males) are nothing more than MRAs (Men’s Rights Activists) in dresses.

Giving the #Tories a majority = ANTI PORN , ANTI HUMAN RIGHTS, ANTI EXTREMISM, ANTI TOLERANCE, PRO SNOOPERS CHARTER, PRO ATVOD CENSORSHIP.

Want to know more about these issues and more??

*  The Daily Mail's favourite 'go to' politician for censorial sound bites appointed as the government's chief censor

*  A Conservative government has been in power for less than a week, and already our fundamental human rights are under threat

*  Anti-terror: the perversion of tolerance

*  Government's anti-extremism plans will have chilling effect on free speech

*  Theresa May's plans are a threat to British values

*  Hacking away safeguards from mass surveillance...: British Government sneakily enacts legislation to exempt the security services from laws against hacking

*  Should You Be Worried About The Snoopers' Charter?...

*  First victims of new Tory internet censorship rules... ATVOD internet censors act against BDSM material on two VoD websites

*  Mistress R'eal appeals against ATVOD censorship

*  Fun game makes light of the UK's repressive porn laws

READ BELOW

UK Government Watch

Spanking, according to Tumblr, is the same as rape

Spanking, according to Tumblr, is the same as rape

Spanking, according to Tumblr, is the same as rape - READ THE COMMENTS

Who are these 'TERF's and why do they want to hurt?

I do believe in the advocacy of women's rights and equality, which makes me a feminist, even if, I do not agree with ALL the issues surrounding feminist perspectives. Anytime stereotyping, objectification (hmm not sure here ), infringements of human rights, or gender- or sexuality-based oppression occurs, it's a feminist issue. But, there are branches of the feminist movement which I totally abhor - the biggest being TERFs.

For those who do not know what TERFism is, let me enlighten you below, but firstly a point of note: IF ( and this applies to the views of TERFs), gender- or sexuality-based oppression is a serious issue for feminists, then TERFism itself is oppression based on gender or sexuality - that of the trans individuals and community.

I understand that some feminists like to separate 'sexuality' from 'gender' (sexuality is set, what you were born with - based on anatomy and gender is interchangeable - personal identification of one's own gender based on an internal awareness ) BUT I do not agree with this view. I feel that one is not a 'woman' because one is born with a vagina - it is far more than just simply sexuality. It is about 'WHO' one is.

Nevertheless, I shall let you make your own minds up.

Back to what and who TERFs are, Kelsie Brynn Jones explains: 

Homicide numbers of trans and gender diverse people worldwide should shame us all. A WORLD MAP SHOWING THE REALITY

Transgender Europe’s Trans Murder Monitoring (TMM) project – initiated in April 2009 in order to systematically monitor, collect and analyse reports of homicides of trans and gender diverse people worldwide – launches an update for IDAHOT 2015 so as to assist activists worldwide in raising public awareness of hate violence against trans and gender diverse people. The infographic summarizes data from the update.

THIS INFOGRAPHIC SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO SHOW HOW PROGRESS HAS BEEN SLOW AND THAT MUCH MUCH MORE NEEDS TO BE DONE TO ADDRESS THESE ISSUES

THE RIGHTS OF TRANS COMMUNITIES AND THE LAWS PROTECTING THEIR FREEDOMS - WORLDWIDE

Number of Murders - WORLDWIDE




TGEU Senior Researcher Carsten Balzer/Carla LaGata is available for interviews and questions and can be reached at: carla@tgeu.org.