READERS

4 Sept 2018

How to motivate yourself to get out of bed

Marcus Aurelius on How to Motivate Yourself to Get Out of Bed in the Morning and Go to Work

"If we design workplaces that permit people to find meaning in their work, we will be designing a human nature that values work," psychologist Barry Schwartz wrote in his inquiry into what motivates us to work. But human nature itself is a moody beast.

3 Sept 2018

The Trouble with finding yourself

The Trouble with "Finding Yourself"

"No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life," thirty-year-old Nietzsche wrote in his treatise on how to find yourself.

2 Sept 2018

The Courage to be Yourself

The Courage to Be Yourself: E.E. Cummings on Art, Life, and Being Unafraid to Feel

"No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life," wrote the thirty-year-old Nietzsche. "The true and durable path into and through experience," Nobel-winning poet Seamus Heaney counseled the young more than a century later in his magnificent commencement address, "involves being true ...

28 Aug 2018

Is there such a thing as temporary branding?


It seems there is... and it's called Cell Popping.




Cell popping? Have you heard of it? Most people have not and I stumbled upon it quite by accident. Basically, it is a form of temporary branding. Did I get it done on me? No, absolutely not, I am a chicken when it comes to pain, but I do cell-popping on others. You could call me an amateur cell popping artist. Let me tell you a bit more about cell popping.

Recently I have developed a curiosity for what we call edge play, less run of the mill activities that a smaller portion of players may practice. As I was reading various topics on a website dedicated to BDSM I fell on a group called Cell Popping. I had no idea what it was so I started to read the articles of this group.

I soon discovered it was a term coined by ArtisticDomme, a Mistress who had reawakened an art once referred to as Devil’s Fire. So what is exactly, getting your cells popped? This body mod is considered a temporary branding that lasts anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months (or longer) depending on each person’s healing cycle. Basically, it is heating a small metal poker under a flame until it is glowing red and gently applying the poker to the skin for like 1 second. It is a small surface burn.

Of course, you want to make it pretty or aesthetic looking. The best way to achieve this is by choosing a pattern and draw it on a piece of paper. But here is the tricky part: you must be able to cut out a negative of the design. This will become your template. A good easy first attempt is a simple tribal design. Intricate designs will not really work unless you are really good at freehand designs. Keep in mind you will be burning an outline of the design.

27 Aug 2018

The Surprising Psychology of BDSM

Who does it, what do they do, and how does it affect them?



Contributed by francic fredrickson

 “A pervert is anybody kinkier than you are.” (Wiseman, 1996, p. 23).

The novel Fifty Shades of Grey introduced BDSM into polite public discourse. Since its publication, hallowed papers such as the New York Times have published articles on bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Harvard University now hosts a student group for undergraduates interested in consensual S&M. And Cosmo’s sex tips have taken a distinctly kinky turn.

With the Fifty Shades movie now coming to theatres, it seems like a good time to take stock of what we know, scientifically, about BDSM: Who does this stuff? What do they do? And what effects do these activities have on the people who do them?

1. How many people are into S&M?
According to researchers, the number likely falls somewhere between 2 percent and 62 percent. That’s right: Somewhere between 2 percent and 62 percent. A pollster who published numbers like that would be looking for a new job. But when you’re asking people about their sex habits, the wording of the question makes all the difference.

On the low end, Juliet Richters and colleagues (2008) asked a large sample of Australians whether they had “been involved in B&D or S&M” in the past 12 months. Only 1.3 percent of women and 2.2 percent of men said yes.

15 Aug 2018

The Beginners Guide to Fetish Clubs in London


No one comes out of the womb latex clad and armed with a whip; no matter how well versed in the art of fetish some may be, they all had to start somewhere!

Whether you’re merely curious to catch a glimpse of what goes on inside these infamous kinky nightclubs, or you’re actually interested in dabbling in the fetish scene, entering a fetish club for the first time can be a little intimidating.

But never fear – all you need is a great outfit, an open mind and some basic knowledge to take your first steps into the cult of fetish clubs with ease. The first two are simple enough to achieve, and for the third we’ve got your back; here’s our what, where and how guide to get you from curious to club…

What can I expect from the UK fetish scene?

You may already have preconceptions about the fetish scene, BDSM and bondage; the media coupled with recent book and film releases (i.e. Fifty Shades of Grey) has provided a glimpse into this world, however this ‘glimpse’ probably isn’t all that accurate.
The best way to learn about fetish is to actually go and experience it for yourself; and where better to do so than in one of the many fun, relaxed clubs where drinks flow freely and sexual freedom without judgement is encouraged?!

22 May 2018

The Nine Degrees Of Submission


This was posted to collarncuffs.com and is meant as food for thought, as an insight to where you see your own submission. Could also be used to described your submission in Femdom to others
I have added a survey below the article to see which of the 9 degrees of submissive prevails. please take the survey, it is anonymous but will provide excellent insight!


The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist

Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up of control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms for the masochist's own pleasure (ie: being turned on solely or mainly by one's own bodily sensations, rather than being turned on by being “used” to gratify one's partner's sadism).

Pseudo-submissive non-slave

Not into even playing “slave”, but into other “submissive” role-playing, e.g.: schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.

Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave

Likes to play at being slave. Likes to *feel* subservient; may in some cases like to *feel* that one is being “used” to gratify one's partner's sadism; and may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave's” own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).

True submissive non-slave

Really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed upon limits), but gets his/her main satisfaction from aspects of submission *other than* serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up of responsibility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her/his own *direct* pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).

True submissive PLAY slave

Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief “scenes” and within limits) and gets his/her main satisfaction from serving and being used by the dominant - but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. (May or may not be into pain, but if so, is turned on by pain *indirectly*, ie: enjoys being the objects of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places few requirements or restrictions.)

Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave

Really gives up control (though usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/ erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one's Mistress/Master, but, either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he or she will serve.

Part-time consensual but REAL slave

Has ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship, and regards oneself as the Mistress'/Master's “property” at all times. Wants to obey and please her/him in all aspects of life - practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic. Devotes most of one's time to other commitments (eg: job) but the Mistress/Master has first pick of the slave's free time.

Full-time live-in consensual slave

Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress'/Master's use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male (since men certainly aren't socially pressured into this kind of lifestyle). Within the S/M world, a full-time “slave” arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.

Consensual total slave with no limits

A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the “consent” is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely *anything* for your Mistress/ Master, with no limits at all. There are a few who claim to be no-limits slaves, but in all cases it would be reasonable to doubt the claim.


Article: Missbitch CollarNuffs.com


Which of the Nine Degrees are you?

The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist
Pseudo-submissive non-slave
Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave
True submissive non-slave
True submissive PLAY slave
Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave
Part-time consensual but REAL slave
Full-time live-in consensual slave
Consensual total slave with no limits
None of the above/ don't know
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Practice makes perfect

Resulting form the lack of effectiveness in work while wearing shackles, I did promise Mistress to practice more at home when I have time an...