What Female Dominants Are Really Looking For!

I would like to thank Mistress Ren for this wonderful piece.

It was just another night. There was nothing decent on the television, and I had already rented just about everything at the video store. So, I decided to pass the evening online.

As I chatted with friends and did a little research, a box appeared in the
corner of my AOL screen: an instant message. I glanced up to see an unfamiliar name, and a very familiar theme….

 "Hello Mistress. i beg of You to forgive me for this intrusion. (bowing naked before the beautiful Mistress).  i am a submissive male seeking a Mistress. i wish only to follow Your every command……i LIVE to please You. Please allow me to be Your unworthy slave. i promise i will follow Your every command. i will crawl across broken glass for You…i will shave my head in tribute to You…i will carve Your initials on my scrotum… i am Yours to use and abuse. Please, beautiful Mistress…"

On the other end of the line, my newly discovered `submissive' is longing to hear me say, "YES slave!! You are MINE!!! Grovel for me and prove your unworthiness, WORM!"

My true reaction? I sighed heavily, shook my head in disbelief, and then responded:

 "Good evening.  I am well, thank you for asking. Yes, the weather IS lovely here in Maine tonight. Would I like to chat with you a few minutes?
Yes….thank you for asking…."

At which point, the reply I usually receive is a well thought out:  "Huh?? What??"

Being a female Dominant, especially one who occasionally ventures online, is NOT an easy task. Ask any Domme you know - I'll bet they have received more than a few instant messages like the one above.

Many submissive males, especially those online, seem to believe that all female Dominants are looking for a compliant, powerless submissive who will prostrate themselves 24 hours a day. These men mistakenly feel that the only way women will be interested in accepting them, as their submissive, is if they show their submission constantly and strongly. After all, a Domme seeks a partner who will never speak unless spoken to, never show his intellect, never look her in the eyes, and never, never, never wants to be treated as her equal.

Right?

Wrong.

How to motivate yourself to get out of bed

Marcus Aurelius on How to Motivate Yourself to Get Out of Bed in the Morning and Go to Work

"If we design workplaces that permit people to find meaning in their work, we will be designing a human nature that values work," psychologist Barry Schwartz wrote in his inquiry into what motivates us to work. But human nature itself is a moody beast.

The Trouble with finding yourself

The Trouble with "Finding Yourself"

"No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life," thirty-year-old Nietzsche wrote in his treatise on how to find yourself.

The Courage to be Yourself

The Courage to Be Yourself: E.E. Cummings on Art, Life, and Being Unafraid to Feel

"No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life," wrote the thirty-year-old Nietzsche. "The true and durable path into and through experience," Nobel-winning poet Seamus Heaney counseled the young more than a century later in his magnificent commencement address, "involves being true ...

Is there such a thing as temporary branding?

It seems there is... and it's called Cell Popping.

Cell popping? Have you heard of it? Most people have not and I stumbled upon it quite by accident. Basically, it is a form of temporary branding. Did I get it done on me? No, absolutely not, I am a chicken when it comes to pain, but I do cell-popping on others. You could call me an amateur cell popping artist. Let me tell you a bit more about cell popping.

Recently I have developed a curiosity for what we call edge play, less run of the mill activities that a smaller portion of players may practice. As I was reading various topics on a website dedicated to BDSM I fell on a group called Cell Popping. I had no idea what it was so I started to read the articles of this group.

I soon discovered it was a term coined by ArtisticDomme, a Mistress who had reawakened an art once referred to as Devil’s Fire. So what is exactly, getting your cells popped? This body mod is considered a temporary branding that lasts anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months (or longer) depending on each person’s healing cycle. Basically, it is heating a small metal poker under a flame until it is glowing red and gently applying the poker to the skin for like 1 second. It is a small surface burn.

Of course, you want to make it pretty or aesthetic looking. The best way to achieve this is by choosing a pattern and draw it on a piece of paper. But here is the tricky part: you must be able to cut out a negative of the design. This will become your template. A good easy first attempt is a simple tribal design. Intricate designs will not really work unless you are really good at freehand designs. Keep in mind you will be burning an outline of the design.

The Surprising Psychology of BDSM

Who does it, what do they do, and how does it affect them?

Contributed by francic fredrickson

 “A pervert is anybody kinkier than you are.” (Wiseman, 1996, p. 23).

The novel Fifty Shades of Grey introduced BDSM into polite public discourse. Since its publication, hallowed papers such as the New York Times have published articles on bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Harvard University now hosts a student group for undergraduates interested in consensual S&M. And Cosmo’s sex tips have taken a distinctly kinky turn.

With the Fifty Shades movie now coming to theatres, it seems like a good time to take stock of what we know, scientifically, about BDSM: Who does this stuff? What do they do? And what effects do these activities have on the people who do them?

1. How many people are into S&M?

According to researchers, the number likely falls somewhere between 2 percent and 62 percent. That’s right: Somewhere between 2 percent and 62 percent. A pollster who published numbers like that would be looking for a new job. But when you’re asking people about their sex habits, the wording of the question makes all the difference.

On the low end, Juliet Richters and colleagues (2008) asked a large sample of Australians whether they had “been involved in B&D or S&M” in the past 12 months. Only 1.3 percent of women and 2.2 percent of men said yes.

The Beginners Guide to Fetish Clubs in London

No one comes out of the womb latex clad and armed with a whip; no matter how well versed in the art of fetish some may be, they all had to start somewhere!

Whether you’re merely curious to catch a glimpse of what goes on inside these infamous kinky nightclubs, or you’re actually interested in dabbling in the fetish scene, entering a fetish club for the first time can be a little intimidating.

But never fear – all you need is a great outfit, an open mind and some basic knowledge to take your first steps into the cult of fetish clubs with ease. The first two are simple enough to achieve, and for the third we’ve got your back; here’s our what, where and how guide to get you from curious to club…

What can I expect from the UK fetish scene?

You may already have preconceptions about the fetish scene, BDSM and bondage; the media coupled with recent book and film releases (i.e. Fifty Shades of Grey) has provided a glimpse into this world, however this ‘glimpse’ probably isn’t all that accurate.

The best way to learn about fetish is to actually go and experience it for yourself; and where better to do so than in one of the many fun, relaxed clubs where drinks flow freely and sexual freedom without judgement is encouraged?!