Session with Mistress Leyla – Some Thoughts After Session

 

On the first Tuesday in November, I had a session with Mistress Leyla. This was my second session with Mistress Leyla and I was very excited about it. I woke up early in the morning and checked the traffic condition to ensure I would arrive Mistress’s dungeon on time. Before setting off, I texted Mistress Leyla to confirm my booking and then started driving. This time, Mistress Leyla ordered me to wear stockings under my clothing. I am not so experienced in wearing stocking and I found that they are quite comfortable although it would be better if I get a pair of large instead of medium as it was a bit too small for me.

I arrived Mistress’s dungeon on time and upon arrival, Mistress Leyla welcomed me and asked me to sit down on the bench in her Dungeon. Then what happened next made me to face the reality, i.e. I knew that I would have a harsh session today… Once I sat down, Mistress Leyla handed me two things immediately - a female panty and a slave collar which has my name on it. I wore the collar immediately although it does not fit well and then I put on the panty. Probably I was too stressed or excited, I put on the panty incorrectly as well as I did not aware that the stockings were not at the correct height. I then knocked the door of the chamber and Mistress Leyla called me in. As usual, I was asked to kneel in the ‘full position’ and then the first thing Mistress told me was: ‘did you check your stockings and panty before coming in? Also, why the name tag of your collar was at the back?’ I apologies to Mistress Leyla immediately and then I spent quite some time to rectify all the mistakes I made. In fact, I was not able to spot what was the problem for my stockings and I received penalty from Mistress immediately. I was asked to run around the garden outside Mistress’s dungeon for 2 mins. I was naked and did not wear shoes. I felt so embarrassing as I afraid Mistress’s neighbours will spot me and, there was a helicopter flew past at the same time. I ran slowly and carefully as I did not wear shoes and 2 minutes passed (it felt like 2 hours) and Mistress Leyla allowed me to come back in the dungeon.

Then Mistress Leyla gave me the first task of the session. To be exact, to wear the stockings properly (i.e. same height in both sides and also to have the same area of the dark colour top bit) within 60 seconds. I managed to do it in my first attempt and Mistress Leyla was pleased. I was then asked to repeat the task but the time was reduced to 45 seconds. Before the timer started, I know that I would not be able to complete the task on time as my feet were wetted by the damped soil in the garden and hence, it was difficult to put on the stockings. I could not finish the task (not even managed to do one side) on time and hence, I received more canning punishment (14 strokes) from Mistress Leyla.

Afterwards, Mistress Leyla tested my knowledge in different slave positions. Although I did practice all the positions many times before attending the session, I was too stressed so sometimes I needed to think about how to do a particular post, especially for those similar posts such as the lying, prone and invert positions. In addition, I am not so flexible nowadays so could not really get the inspection position right. Luckily Mistress Leyla was very kind to forgive me but I know that I need to do more exercises to improve my flexibility and to practice more to make sure I can do all the positions without thinking in my next session.

Then, Mistress Leyla asked me to go into the cage. It sounds like an easy task to complete but it wasn’t… Before going into the cage, Mistress Leyla cuffed my hands using a pair of metal handcuffs in front. Once the cold metal cuffs touching my wrists, I felt that I am now really a slave fully controlled by Mistress Leyla. It is not a secret that many Mistresses/Masters tend to handcuff their slaves all the time to ensure their safety (joking 😊) but to make the slaves to feel that they are now under control and hence, to give them slavery feeling. Although my hands were cuffed in front (luckily), due to the short chain between the two cuffs, the movement of my hands was highly restricted. Before putting me in the cage, Mistress asked me to remove all the pillows and the duvet from the cage. It is of course an easy task in normal times but don’t forget that my hands were cuffed so I could not actually spread my arms. It was extremely difficult for me to hold the door of the cage which is hinged from the top of the side frame and to take out all the things inside the cage. I used my shoulder to support the cage door and then took out all the pillows. Now, I faced another new challenge which was to remove the bulky duvet. I know that as my arms could only spread for max. 20 cm, I would not be able to hold the duvet. I tried to roll the duvet so that I could hold it with my cuffed hands. It was an extremely difficult task and after 3 mins of struggle, I finally managed to remove the duvet from the cage. Now, Mistress Leyla asked me to kneel in front of her. I was then blindfolded and gagged before I was led to and locked in the cage. Also, Mistress Leyla clamped my nipples and the chain of the nipple clamps was connected to my neck collar. This means that every movement of my head will move the clamps. I tried to minimise my head movement to minimise the pain sent from the clamped nipples to my brain.   As I was blindfolded, I did not know how long I spent in the cage. However, I do think that every minute in the cage feels like an hour as I could not see and could not talk. I felt so vulnerable as I could not tell what will happen next as I was confined in a small cage. The first 20 minutes (I thought) was okay as nothing happened on my body and I was about to relax a bit. But then…. Suddenly some pain came from my cock because Mistress Leyla started canning my cock. I could not see and my hands were cuffed. I tried to move to avoid but I couldn’t as I was locked in a cage. What I could only do was screaming through the gag. Mistress Leyla did the canning three times during my time in the cage and then I was released.

After releasing from the cage, I was asked to kneel in front of Mistress Leyla again. Mistress removed my hood and the gag but then she gagged my mouth using the device that used by dentists to keep their patients’ mouth open. Mistress Leyla then lighted a cigarette and my mouth became the ash tray for Mistress. After smoking, Mistress removed the handcuffs from my wrists but put a pair of leather cuffs on my ankles so I could only walk in small steps from now on and re-gagged me. Mistress Leyla then asked me to put on my shoes and I was led to the outdoor garden. Mistress asked me to walk toward a wooden stock and I was locked there. It was again a very embarrassing experience as I was naked and I was hold still in the garden with a helicopter kept flying around. Also, as I wore the dentist gag, I couldn’t swallow saliva and it kept drooling from my mouth. I don’t know how long I spent on the wooden stocking, probably 10 mins but again I felt like I was there for at least 1 hour as I was completely immoblised and I was scared to be spotted by someone in the helicopter or by Mistress’s neighbours.  

After coming back from outside, Mistress Leyla kindly removed my gag but re-cuffed my hands and allowed me to give her a foot massage. I used my cuffed hands to hold Mistress’s foot and used my tongue to provide a foot massage to Mistress. This is a relatively easy task before I was asked to do the most challenging task of the session. Mistress Leyla asked me to fold the duvet (the one I removed from the cage earlier) and the bed lining and put everything back into the cage. Well, if removing things from the cage is already challenging enough, putting them back will definitely not be easier. To make things even more challenging, my head was hooded, so I could not actually see as I was like semi-blindfolded. Mistress Leyla also re-gagged me so I could not speak (or make a request). With my cuffed hands, I know that it will be extremely difficult for me to fold the duvet. I kept walking around and fold the duvet bit by bit. Also, because I could not see, I could not tell if I did fold the duvet correctly. After struggling for about 10 mins, I finally managed to fold the duvet and made it look reasonably presentable. Now, I faced a new challenge which was about to put the duvet back into the cage. Again, with my cuffed hands, it is an extremely difficult task. I need to hold the duvet which is already a difficult task and to open the cage door. Mistress Leyla noticed that I could not open the cage door so she was very kind to help me to hold the door (thanks Mistress 😊). However, I was still struggling to hold the duvet as my arms could not spread wide enough to grasp it without unfolding it. Then I tried to roll the duvet and after several trials, finally I managed to hold and put it back into the cage.

Afterwards, there was about 10 minutes before the session end. Mistress Leyla was kind enough to allow me to have a happy ending. However, I need to use my cuffed hands to masturbate and cum within 5 minutes. It was a very hard task as although my hands are cuffed in front, the chain was too short so that my left hand could not move free enough to get a full stroke. I have tried different ways to masturbate but the result remained the same. The chain was just too short so I could not really stimulate my cock enough to cum. 5 minutes passed quickly and Mistress Leyla asked me to stop immediately when the timer alarm set off. I put my hands on my head although I was quite close to cum. At that time, I just felt frustrated as I could not get the happy ending. Nevertheless, what I can tell is luckily in this session, most the time my hands were cuffed in front, I could not imagine what would happen if my hands were cuffed behind (I am not convincing Mistress to try it next time though 😊). It also shows that handcuffs are very effective for the purpose of slave’s behaviour control (as well as to make sure Mistress Leyla is safe 😊).

After the session, I found that I need to have more practice on how to serve effectively while wearing handcuffs. Therefore, from now on, I wear handcuffs to write the blogs and to do all the Mistress Leyla’s assigned tasks in order to get use to the feeling of being a shackled slave as well as to learn how to use my cuffed hands effectively.

Ownership, is it for fun only? (Revised)

In recent weeks on social media, ‘ownership’ seems to be a hot topic to discuss and debate about. In fact, it is common to see slaves put status like ‘owned by Mistress/Master ABC’, ‘looking for an owner’, ‘currently unowned’ etc on twitter or Facebook. In addition, I frequently see Mistresses post on their Facebook pages or blogs about owing slaves who do not want to serve. In some more severe cases, there have been reports on owned slaves suddenly blocked their owners and then simply disappeared. These posts make me to feel that ownership nowadays is just a fashionable term. To be exact, it is no longer a mutual relation between the dom and sub. So my question here is, are people still treat ‘ownership’ seriously or it is just a ‘deposable’ item that everyone can choose to start and end the relation at any time without facing any consequences.

Of course, there is nothing wrong to seek for an owner or being owned. However, if we step one-step backward and ask ourselves several questions. Why ownership is important? Is it just a fashionable word or does it mean something valuable for slaves? Why it is necessary to be owned or why slaves would like someone to control them? In this post, I am trying to answer the above questions as a slave’s point of view. As it is a debatable topic, the following is just my personal thoughts and please feel free to agree or disagree what I say.

Ownership, in one sense, means a slave agreed to transfer itself (note: people use it to describe slaves in ancient times) as an asset to its owner. Wait a minute! this means now the owner has full control on how to ‘utilise’ his/her ‘property’ and the slave can only obey and execute all the orders coming from its owner. Doing so means that the slave will lose its freedom but does not seem like one will gain anything form this relation. In other words, it seems like for slaves, ownership is a ‘profitless’ business. Then why slaves are still seeking to be owned?

Personally, I think the feeling of security and an opportunity to play a part in the owner’s daily life are the two most important things that a slave will gain from this mutual relation. For a slave, it will feel empty if no one willing to control and train it. Psychologically, this means we want something (i.e. the satisfaction due to being owned) but we cannot achieve what we want due to no one willing to do anything to give us what we want (i.e. not being owned).

As a slave, it is easy to tell the awful feeling of not being able to serve no one. We (slaves) get satisfactions after serving our owners. For example, I do all the tasks assigned by Mistress Leyla promptly, usually within a day or two, to make Mistress happy. I feel so happy if I managed to finish all the assigned tasks on time and when Mistress Leyla thanks for my good work (not always so good ☹). Similarly, I feel sad if I let Mistress Leyla down and make her feels disappointed. Of course, I get punished by Mistress Leyla but at the same time I learn how to improve and do better next time. This learning process not just makes me better but at the same time make me to feel I am playing a role in Mistress’s life. This warm feeling is something that I gained from this relation and I think this is a mutual relation which links Mistress Leyla and I together.

For all slaves, being owned means that they are now fully committed to serve their owners with no regrets. Similarly, for all Mistresses/Masters, owning slaves means they are committed to train up and to make them better. So far, I have just talked about physical ownership. There are many other types of ownership such as long-distance ownership, lifestyle ownership, financial ownership etc. Of course, the purpose of different types of ownership is different but the ultimate principle stays the same. We serve to appreciate our owners, and we get both physical and psychological satisfactions through completing tasks assigned by the owners. I do believe that ‘ownership’ or ‘being owned’ is still playing an important role in BDSM. I think most slaves are still treating ownership very seriously and most slaves will feel proud at the point when their owners collared them. At least for me, I feel so proud when Mistress Leyla collared me and let me to be her slave. Although I did do something which dissatisfy her at the time when I was writing this post, I enjoy being owned by Mistress Leyla because I am satisfied with my identity. I know that I am a slave and serving Mistress is my daily duty and if I am not performing well, Mistress Leyla will punish me hard because I know that Mistress Leyla would like me to become a better slave. Like all other relations, we will get good and bad times but since ownership is a mutual relation, the successfulness of this relation depends strongly on how much effort each party would like to commit to keep it running.

To conclude, I think ownership is a serious mutual relation which is not something that we should take it easy. Before committing to become an owned slave, one should ask if he/she is serious enough to play a part in maintaining this relation by serving his/her owner daily. If the answer is yes, then ownership is the thing one should go for. As I already mentioned, ownership is a mutual relation. If no one would like to input nothing, then this relation will not last long and the debate about why owning a slave or why being owned will just keep carrying on…

 

 

Needs vs Wants in BDSM

As a Sub, it is always easy to tell what I want during a BDSM session. However, it is sometimes a bit more challenging to identify what I need. Needs and wants take similar meaning in board sense but these terms are different in the sense that 'need' tends to mean essential things while while 'want' usually means something is optional.

A successful BDSM session required the submissive fully understood what he/she would like to experience (i.e. wants) and also what he/she hopes Mistress Leyla will do (needs) during a session. As an example, I always imagine myself as a naughty slave who is a bit dangerous to Mistress Leyla (due to lack of discipline) so that I would like to be restraint, gagged and put in a cell/cage to reflect and control in every session. This is what I want. Similarly, I would like to be tied or chained up, blindfolded and gagged all the time during a session so that I will not have control on anything and Mistress Leyla will determine what to do on my body in the next few hours. This is what I want. I would like to be tortured and tormented by Mistress Leyla, using various tools and methods. This is what I want. I would like Mistress Leyla to control my behaviour and speak all the time so that I could only act and speak with Mistress's permission. This is what I want. Of course, I also want to be trained up by Mistress Leyla to be a better slave and hence I would like Mistress Leyla to assign me some daily tasks to do. Again this is what I want...

Between BDSM and the DSM: The Relationship of BDSM and Psychology

I have posted a copy of  Between BDSM and the DSM: The Relationship of BDSM and Psychology, By: Doron Mosenzon (Instructed by: Dr. Otniel Dror) Seminar Paper for the Course “Gender and Science” 2013-14. 

You can read the full paper at: https://goo.gl/HK3r1F

Dominant Views in Psychology and Psychiatry

What is Sexual Deviance?

Early Sexology and the Creation of the Deviant

"Sex and sexuality were always an inflammatory subject, and every religion, ideology, and discipline has an interest in the way people relate and operate with their sexuality. More specifically, trying to decide what sexual acts and dispositions are “normal”, “healthy”, “natural”, and “moral” is an important part of any philosophy or area of study that deals with human sexuality.

Pony Boot Camp - A must read BDSM story

I absolutely must recommend the deliciously wicked stories written by the sinful and creative author Venom (pen name). His blog VENOMSTORIES contains a myriad of fantastic BDSM stories. 

To entice you further, below is part 1 of Pony Boot Camp. To enjoy part 2 of this story, you will need to follow the link at the end of this post...

Enjoy fellow deviants.

Pony Boot Camp — Part One 

Prologue (Law and Order)

It was either this, or two years without probation or parole. Maybe I’d really pushed it too far this time. My latest stunt crowned a dubious career that had started when I’d been fifteen, and with a true classic: shoplifting. Breach of the peace, public nuisance and damage to property had followed; they had even nicked me once for hacking the server of the public library (don’t ask what reason I’d done that for).

 I forgot to introduce myself: My name is Alexia Wert. But you can call me Alex.

 I consider myself intelligent, have never done hard drugs, never shown violent or otherwise deviant behaviour. I never was rebellious as such, never wanted to fight the system. I was just bored, wanted to test myself and my environment alike, wanted to know what I could get away with. And with what not.

This time they had dragged me out of a stolen car. It had only been a joyride, nothing more. I may be a troublemaker, but I’m not a liar – and I stand by my actions. However, the prosecutor not only claimed theft, but felt free to spice things up with intent to resell. And if that wasn’t enough, he added abscond from justice for good measure, since my silly self hadn’t stopped the car immediately when spotted by the coppers (a circumstance that had earned me a healthy bite of tarmac sandwich, a rib contusion and two pissed policemen’s knee prints on my back – not to mention the titillating experience of having a nine-mil pressed against the back of my head). To top it off, I was over eighteen by now, and considering my mighty criminal record the judge refused to show lenience by once more applying law related to juvenile offenders.

 It dawned on me that I was running fresh out of luck.

 “Salvation” came in form of a one-time offer near the end of my trial: three months in a special boot camp – that, or the prosecution would aim for two years in prison. By then I already stood under the impression that the judge would go for the requested twenty-four months pour encourager les autres. Which caused me to listen to the offer. They were somewhat thin on the details, yet “educational techniques also used for the dressage of animals” didn’t sound too hot. Would I be taught how to fetch and play dead? But three month to have my spirit broken and reshaped into a form useful to society was still better than sticking my tongue all the way up a bull dyke’s minge for the next 730 nights.

So the verdict came to pass that I, after the complete healing of my rib contusion, was to be transferred to the Deepfall Advanced Correctional Centre and kept there for a term not shorter than ninety days.

CLICK FOR PART 2 OF PONY BOOT CAMP 

Consent NEEDS communication.

There's a lot of discourse about consent going on lately. And that's a good thing. We've ignored consent violations too long, both as a BDSM community and in American culture as a whole. As much as it's frustrating and painful to talk about such things, talking about consent and what it means is good and healthy for us. It's like lancing a wound, it hurts and a lot of pus comes out at first, but it's what's required to start the healing process.

BDSM Consent in Non-BDSM Sex

By Kayla Beare - Original Post HERE

In a post-#MeToo world, the need for a clear-cut and comprehensive definition of sexual consent has become a topic of conversation for many. The BDSM community is often said to be ahead of the curve in having this conversation, and there is much that can be learnt from this community.

 BDSM, an acronym referring to bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism, is a term that encompasses a broad range of intimate activities that often, but not always, includes some component of sexual play. BDSM has been around for centuries, as early as Mesopotamian times, but has only recently become part of public discourse in Western societies thanks to kinky books and films such as the 50 Shades of Grey series.

 Unfortunately, the 50 Shades of Grey series, although hugely popular, is not an accurate depiction of healthy BDSM. The books, and films, underplay the consent negotiation process generally present in BDSM play. Consent in BDSM, much like consent in sex more generally, is often considered morally transformative. This means that it defines the morality of a sexual act: without consent, it is abuse but with consent, it is a shared, actively chosen experience.  Consent is so vital to BDSM play that is one of the tenets of the BDSM code: “risk-aware consensual kink “ Arguably, we should all be having sex in which we are aware of the risks and are fully consenting, regardless of whether or not we are engaging in elements of kink or BDSM. Let’s explore the key facets of the BDSM model of consent and its use in non-BDSM sex.