The Art Of Punishment
by: David Franklin
PHYSICAL PUNISHMENTS
Most D/s articles on the Internet talk about punishment in
terms of spanking. "If you do not obey, I will spank you." But how
does this work if the submissive or slave actually likes to be spanked? Kind of
like"please don?t throw me in the briar patch." Here we will
catalogue punishments you can actually use in the real time training of a
slave/submissive.
First, Let?s start with some basic punishment principles. It
is always important to gear the punishment to the infraction. Let the
punishment fit the crime. When a minor infraction gets a major punishment, you
are sending the wrong signal. Try to administer punishment as closely as
possible to the time of the infraction. In this way the sub/slave will not only
be properly and predictably disciplined, but will also respect his/her
Dominant. Never let a punishment cause injury. Never, ever use a hard limit as
a punishment. And, finally, always start the punishment with a
lecture/explanation.
There is a debate as to whether punishment sessions should
have safe words. Some Masters/Doms/Dommes allow them, others do not. It is a
matter of preference, style, how well the Dominant knows the submissive and, of
course, how experienced the Dominant is. Those Dominants who do not allow safe
words should always err on the side of safety. My feeling is that in the
beginning of a D/s relationship, use safe words all the time - in play and in
punishment. As should all novice Dominants. As the Dominant?s knowledge of the
submissive - and as the submissive?s trust in the Dominant grows - safe words
can be done away with. Carefully.
There is also the question as to whether punishment is
necessary in the training of a sub/slave at all. There is no rule that says
there must be punishment in a Master/slave or Dom/sub relationship. I can
envision a slave so instinctual she needs no punishment to serve flawlessly.
(Where is she?) And surely some subs/slaves can respond perfectly to praise
alone. Different (flogger) strokes for different folks. But as The Punishment
Manual is intended only for those Doms who use punishment as an integral part
of their sub/slave training, the point is moot.
There are two sides to the discipline coin - physical
punishment and mental punishment. (Of course, there is a mental component to
physical punishment; so when I refer to "mental punishment" I mean
that which does not include any physical contact.) Physical punishment is the
most obvious weapon in the Dominant?s training arsenal. But the Dom?s
disapproval is also a powerful weapon -- as is any number of mental
punishments. "The pen is mightier than the sword" has its analogue in
D/s - "the word is as mighty as the lash." I have found that a
balanced combination of both physical and mental punishment, along with praise,
to be the most effective way to train a submissive or slave.
PHYSICAL PUNISHMENTS
1. Find the "butt-beating" implement that your
submissive dislikes. If he/she hates the paddle, the cane or a particular
flogger in your collection, use it. Look no further, you have found the perfect
tool of discipline. When your submissive or slave commits an infraction that
requires punishment, bring out the paddle or cane (or whatever implement is on
the sub?s "un-wish" list) and administer punishment.
But keep out wary eye out for signs that the submissive is
actually enjoying the "punishment." Make sure you do not let the
submissive get into subspace. If you see the submissive hitting
"space," stop. And tell the submissive why you are stopping.
Clever "bratty" subs have been known to misbehave
in order to get a good beating. This might be fine for role-play, but is
counter-productive if you are seriously trying to train a submissive or slave.
If this is the case, switch to another form of punishment.
2. For very serious infractions, severe punishment might be
in order. This, of course, is not to be attempted by beginners or those with
new D/s relationships where the dynamics are not yet established. The cane is
perfect for this kind of disciplining.
A ball gag is also effective when severe punishment is
called for.
3. Hair pulling is a great way to get your point across.
Especially when verbal disapproval accompanies this action. A good hair pulling
session with a "what did you do wrong" question and response routine
is awfully effective. In the following pictures, the hair pulling is
accompanied by a swat with the hairbrush! This is a lesson not soon forgotten!
4. A very popular punishment for a mouthy submissive is the age-old
one of washing the mouth out with soap. This has worked for the last hundred
years and will probably work for a hundred more!
5. Although I will cover humiliation as a mental punishment
in Part Two, there are some physical punishments that can be humiliating. Being
forced to wear a baby pacifier in public can be a reinforcing experience. The
picture I have chosen here is one of a submissive wearing a butt plug with a
ponytail. Being made to display this toy in public at a BDSM play party setting
can be humiliating, depending on the situation.
6. "Sensory Deprivation" is perhaps the single
most "unforgettable" punishment a Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme can mete
out. Being tied and left alone - especially when ballgagged and even
blindfolded -- for a period of time is another punishment the submissive will
not soon forget!
7. "Corporal Punishment" is a combination
punishment - it encompasses both the physical and mental side. I have already
written about it in the BDSM U article "Pain" . This corporal
punishment "script" can be altered in many ways - but the major point
is the question and response during the punishment. For example -- "Does
sub/slave know why he/she is being punished?" "Yes, Sir/Ma?am. I have
shamed Master/Mistress by (reciting offense)." You can incorporate this Q
and A technique to just about any physical punishment.
Here the submissive is chained to a spanking bench, which is
ideal for administering corporal punishment.
8. A variation on the sensory deprivation theme is being
kept in a cage. Depending on the submissive?s fears (if it is a hard limit,
avoid this as a punishment), this can be the one thing the submissive fears
most. In this series of cage pictures, notice the bowl in the cage. Requiring
the submissive to eat out of the bowl is another aspect of this punishment that
can be quite humiliating. Again, the objective is to know and understand your
submissive or slave. To repeat - if caging, eating out of a bowl or humiliation
in general is a hard limit, this is not a punishment you should ever use.
9. There is really no limit on what you can use as
punishment. Sometimes play that is enjoyable can be used as punishment when
done in a disapproving manner or on another area of the body. For example, wax
play on the buttocks might be one of your submissive?s favorite activities. But
when applied to the breasts, she might hate it. In this case, use it!
These are just a few examples of the types of physical
punishments that can be used when training a submissive or a slave. In Part
Two, I will outline mental punishments that will give you great ideas how to
put the "D" in D/s!
MENTAL PUNISHMENTS
The true aim of all punishment is to imprint your
displeasure on the sub?s mind so that he/she will not repeat the offense. So
ultimately all punishment has at its core a mental aspect to it.
In this second part of the Punishment Manual, I will present
mainly mental punishments. I have used some myself and others have been
designed by other Doms. You should not confine yourself to those listed here.
The only limit is your imagination and your understanding of your sub?s psyche.
For example, I once made my submissive watch her least favorite movie of all
time - the incredibly boring "Room With A View", at one sitting with
no breaks. Though its effects on her behavior proved to be of shorter duration
than a session with the old cane! This adds fuel to the debate as to which is
more effective - physical or mental punishment.
The most important part of any punishment is the mental
part. All physical punishments should be preceded by a lecture explaining what
the submissive did to displease the Dom, Domme or Master. Explain what the
submissive is being punished for. This is essential. I would also give the
submissive a chance (if he/she so desires) to explain why he/she thinks the
punishment is unwarranted. Most likely, this will turn into a brief excuse
session. But keep an open mind. If you, as the Dominant, are mistaken or you
misinterpreted the infraction, be big enough to admit it. You will grow in
stature in the submissive?s eyes. The lecture is indispensable to the proper
discipline of a submissive. It is as important as the penalty itself. These
lectures or explanations should precede all punishments -- whether physical or
mental.
There are some Doms who use the lecture as a punishment in
and of itself. Some submissives respond strongly to disapproval. Since the
object is to train the submissive, the Dominant should not need to use physical
punishment -- or more severe mental punishment -- unless necessary. My father
had an expression he used whenever he severely punished me (as a child...no
jokes, my friends.) "This hurts me more than it hurts you." This
should apply in D/s as well. Use the least painful punishment (mental or
physical) that will accomplish the task. If a lecture works -- and that is all
that is needed -- by all means use that as your primary tool of discipline.
The parent/child model holds true in that many punishments
mimic those used in grade school. Requiring your submissive to hand write a
given phrase - such as "I will not disrespect Master in public" -- a
hundred times (or more) works wonders. I know a Dominant who required his
submissive to write, "I will not answer Master?s business phone with a
ŒHello?" five hundred times. Since he did not specify "hand
written," she used the copy button on her computer. So make sure you
specify "hand written." (A clever
sub was she!)
Another old school punishment is the classic "dunce
cap" routine. There are innumerable variations on it. Standing in the
corner for a given period of time - an hour or two, for example - is one
version. Making the submissive literally wear a homemade "dunce cap"
(make the sub make it) is not only humiliating, it borders on the totally
devious. Use this latter one with care since humiliation is not to be used for
every submissive?s discipline. If humiliation is a hard limit, don?t go there.
Even for discipline.
Speaking of humiliation, punishment based on humiliation (if
applicable) can be awesome. Making the submissive wear a baby pacifier in
public is a humbling experience. If the submissive has been mouthy, an entire
evening without being allowed to speak will do the trick. A very extreme
humiliation - use with care - require the submissive to wear a sign stating her
offense at a BDSM play party. Or just make the slave watch and not participate
(if he/she likes to play publicly) at such a BDSM party. Yet another one - make
the sub or slave eat out of a bowl on all fours like a dog. (But make sure the
sub or slave does not like this; if he/she does, use another punishment.)
Isolation is another mental punishment. Making the
submissive stay in a small room or closet with no link to the outside world for
a couple of hours can be maddening. And one a submissive might not ever wish to
repeat. But make sure the submissive cannot sleep through it. Standing up can
make sleep all but impossible.
A less severe form of isolation - especially in the
information age - is suspending the slave's computer, email, telephone or
television privileges. This is one form of isolation that is quite effective as
a punishment.
Complete sensory deprivation for a period of time is yet
another variation on this isolation theme. Ball gagged, blindfolded in a dark
room - add sleep deprivation (wake the sub/slave from time to time) and you
have a totally diabolical punishment. Use with care.
If your slave is trained for housework, then punishments
such as re-folding towels that were done sloppily or being made to eat off
dirty dishes that were improperly cleaned are widely used. The "let the
punishment fit the crime" imperative is a wise one to follow.
Then there are those unique punishments you devise yourself.
These are the most fun. And the most bonding - because they are unique to your
relationship. I tied my submissive up in a room and played The Weather Channel
LOUD for an hour. She hates the weather channel. I doubt if she lives to a
hundred she will ever forget that one. We still talk about it.(She hated that
more than watching "Room With A View"!)
Just keep in mind that even mental punishments can have
their dangers. To repeat, never use a hard limit as a punishment. But if you
use your imagination and maintain a sense of what is fair, the use of mental
punishment to train a submissive or slave can be as effective as physical ones.
And when used in combination with physical ones...WOW!
Finally, no matter what punishments you have used, do not
forget aftercare. A punishment session can be exhausting for the submissive,
both physically and emotionally. Thus the same procedures for post-scene
aftercare apply for mental punishment sessions as well.