How much is too much when it comes to tributing a Domme?
Recently I have found many many would be submissives attempt to negotiate
tributes, reduce tributes and even out rightly denounce having to pay a
tribute.
We understand that times are difficult for all, and I mean
ALL - Including ProDommes. I would never try to haggle the price of a cab fair
or a visit to the dentist - they are services I choose to use and therefore pay
for the privilege. But it seems some would-be subs do not agree.
So, how much is too much? And what are submissives actually
paying for?
Let's look at this from the perspective of a visit to the dentist.
I value my oral health and wish to keep my own teeth for as long as possible.
When it came to choosing a dentist, I did some research. I looked at qualifications,
premises, reputation and, most of all, I vetted my dentist personally for his
personality - how good was he at interacting with me, reassuring me and being
honest about what I required during my visits and, lastly, price. Looking at
those credentials, price came at the bottom of my list - as long as he
understood me, had the correct qualifications, manner and personality - the
price for finding a dentist I could trust, communicate with and feel safe in
their hands was worth it.
The same sets of safety measures must be set in place when
choosing a Mistress. Anyone can hit someone and yell and scream and call
themselves a professional dominant, and believe Me when I say there are many of
these kinds of Mistresses within the scene - often demanding lesser tributes
than other more experienced, skilled and equipped ProDommes.
A great ProDomme must have a good reputation, be
experienced, skilled, have premises which are fit for use, understand BDSM from
a wide perception both physical and psychological, is extremely knowledgeable,
is safe, the list could go on.
How much is a sub's safety worth? How much is acting out a
fantasy in the correct surroundings with the desired results worth? And, how
much is a connection - lasting connection - between a Mistress and a sub worth?
I think priceless.
Often, ProDommes charge or require tributes not just for
their time but to cover expenses, equipment costs (investment in new toys )
heating ( or in the summer cooling of premises), rent, training, classes,
advertising and other essential costs. It is not, for the true Mistress, a money
making endeavour, because believe Me - we are not millionaires - not even
close. We pursue our fervour because We value it, get pleasure from it and
because We are the Queens in the art of BDSM.
Final! End of. There is no negotiating, quibbling, haggling
or begging for freebies! Because it is about safety, experience, reputation and
honesty.
At the end of the day - YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
6 comments:
My rule is that once a man starts to discuss price, the discussion is over. Professional Domination is not something you do when you're income is thin. Just like other luxury pursuits. You don't call up a five star hotel and whine to them that you don't have enough to pay their rates.
The perception among MANY potential clients regarding our business is that we are making so much money that we can make exceptions from time to time. That we are regularly gifted with cars, boats, and vacations so we have the income to spare. No, this is a small business pursuit just like the butcher shop on the corner. Our costs are FIXED. Our clients don't want to think outside of their fantasies about what it's really like for Pro Dommes to stay in business. As soon as they start to think about what we do as "work," these guys can't sustain their interest in setting up a session. Their ultimate fantasy of their Mistress taking them on as her personal and private slave because he's so special goes out the door. Ultimately that's what they ALL hold close to their chest: the 1% chance that SOME DAY She will decide he no longer needs to be her client and he can be her personal play thing. DREAM ON is what I have to say to that...
Lastly, MANY "tourist sex workers" are diluting the Pro Domme pool. These women are either from other areas such as massage or dancing and they feel that they can do what we do. Also, women who enter into Pro BDSM as a kinky adventure instead of as true work make it difficult. Why? They don't truly understand what goes into what we do and they feel like it's perfectly ok to negotiate price based on their whim. They are the "used car sales people" of BDSM, whereas Pro Dommes are the Ferrari dealers of BDSM. They are about the hustle and haggle. We do not negotiate. The price is fixed. If you can not afford the service, please walk away.
In the end, you have to stick to your tribute and dismiss men who even dream of negotiating. You will feel better about yourself in the long run and they will ultimately respect you for it.
90....FOR HALF AN HOUR!!!?? I am a professional, and very good at what I do...and get £50...A DAY!!!! Mistress Leyla, I am in no way disputing your professionalism....nor you. I like you visit the dentist, look after my teeth...but that costs £18 every 6 months per check up! Yes I agree, subs should never...NEVER try to haggle tributes, I am with you all the way ok, and without doubt respect you more than you know.....and yes, it does depend on how many subs you see on a regular basis...is this your only income Mistress Leyla? :o)
I understand... But I don't have many subs every day.. some weeks can be too quiet..It's not work where I am guaranteed an income at the end of the month. Some months can be very difficult - for example end of November to January as it is approaching Xmas and people will not spend any time or very little with a Mistress - they are saving up for gifts for their loved ones.
Last week I did not see 1 sub...this week I have 2 booked in... When you balance the income over the year it is not as much as you think.
Weeks or days when I have no bookings, I still have to pay insurance, heating costs and keep the premises updated and running, in-case a booking comes in - so that is why I charge what I do..
If I charges less, I may attract the wrong sort of sub, I need to also feel safe in my own place and unfortunately, the less you charge the cheaper the client.
Mistress Leyla, from what you just said...yes, I can understand...I now see your point, upping your hourly / half hourly rate....you have no choice..but to charge what you do..it is after all a business....I will concede..you now have my warm hearted feelings to you...just never appreciated your situation..please forgive me ok...I guess it isn't as glam as the mindless sub tends to invisage x ;o)
Mistress Leyla, from what you just said...yes, I can understand...I now see your point, upping your hourly / half hourly rate....you have no choice..but to charge what you do..it is after all a business....I will concede..you now have my warm hearted feelings to you...just never appreciated your situation..please forgive me ok...I guess it isn't as glam as the mindless sub tends to invisage x ;o)
I was close friends with a Pro Domme many years ago and back then her prices ranged from $50-300+ per hour depending on the services. Keep in mind that every hour of session involved on average 1-2 hours of prep/clean up. Her rent for a very private small home just for domming (not personal home for safety reasons) was almost $2000 per month. Then gear, advertising, general business expenses... It's a very high overhead industry with high risks as well. I'm surprised anyone does it sometimes.
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