Our annual New year get together
Every year demands an end of year party, traditionally in December. Those of us who work from The fetish Studio will get together and share some wine, laugh and mull over our profession.
Attending were; JosephineScissons, Master Dresda, Lady Trinity, Mistress Siren and Myself
Over some good wine (served to us by Slave Dan), a super meal (prepared and served by our own domestic chef and sissy maid Isabel) we shared the ups and downs of 2013.
Master Desda shared the hilarious yet sobering and thought provoking instance of Anna (name changed). Anna contacted Master Dresda hoping to get training to become a ProDomme. Nothing unusual there, but what made this a hilarious subject matter was Anna herself and her need to be a Pro Domme. Here is the conversations they had over the phone (which he had recorded and I transcribe)
MD = Master Dresda A = Anna (who by the way had the strongest Essex accent ever)
MD: Where are you based? I'm in Reading, Berkshire.
A: I live and work in Essex.
MD: OK hun, what do you do for work at the moment?
A: I'm a qualified beauty therapist.
MD: Have you had any experience in BDSM? Fetish?
A: No.
MD: OK...... UM.... What made you want to become a ProDomme?
A: Well the moneys good isn't it? It's easy money and I need to get cash as I'm in debt.
MD: Trust me when I say that no ProDomme has become rich through it. They do it because they love their work. What makes you think it's easy money Anna?
A: I see lots of adverts for Mistress and they have stuff brought for them. Some of 'em charge loads.
MD: Tell me what you think being a ProDomme involves and we can start from there.
A: I just gotta beat them ain't I. They like pain an' I'm a big girl so I can hit hard. But I haven't got any gear. I need to get some clothes for it. It ain't cheap so I need to know how I can start.
MD: Actually, it involves a lot more than just beating them. You need to be able to get into their heads.....
A: What? Their heads? What does that mean?
MD: You need to be able to understand what they are really looking for, what they really need and want and .........
A: But I don't have to have sex with 'em do I?
MD: No, that's a different area of service altogether. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. As a ProDomme you'll need to think where your area of interest and focus will be. What your unique specialism might be.
A: So I don't have to have sex. What do you mean by are of interest?
MD: Some Dommes specialise in Adult Babies, other are focused on CBT, Humiliation while others enjoy bondage.....
A: What the fuck? Men actually like being babies? (laughs) And dress up n stuff. Ew, do they have nappies? ( Laughs longer) I just wanna spank 'em.
MD: Yes........ That would mean you would specialise in Correctional services. I'll tell you want, give me your email and I'll send you some info on BDSM and we can take it from there. (email address given)
MD: ok, get back to me when you've read the stuff I send over to you....
A: Can I book a time to come see you anyway?
A time and day was arranged. She never showed up. Master Dresda phoned her a few days after to see if she was still interested in becoming a Domme. She did. Another date was arranged. Again, she didn't show up, or ring again.
Putting aside the fact that Anna was possibly desperate to earn some money and was possibly in a low point in her life, we did laugh, a lot. Not at Anna directly (although she fitted into the stereotypical Essex girl perfectly) but at the whole scenario. Sobering, we all know that in time, she will be out there posing as a ProDomme, which is what brought us to the more serious topic of conversation - the quality of Pro Dommes.
Between us we have over 60 years of experience - professional experience not including personal experience. Although the story brought tears to our eyes, it did also make the reality of the situation currently spreading like a disease across the www and into our dungeons. I've had clients tell me there is a new Domme in my area who is cheaper. They go to visit her. A few months later they return and tell me they made a mistake - yes she was much cheaper per hour but didn't have experience, or 'what it takes' or 'She didn't understand what I wanted and did whatever she wanted', 'she heated the wax in the microwave for too long but I couldn't say anything as I was gagged. I'm still recovering from the wounds and hiding it from my wife is causing me a lot of problems' Heard them all. But they are out there. I often think I should drop my prices but that made no sense when the logistics, planning, time spent gathering equipment etc comes into it.We discussed whether there was a need for 'A Guild of Professional Dominants & Submissives'. Yes most probably. But who has the time to put it together? Would Dommes pay for the accreditation? How could we measure quality? Experience? We debated for a while then drank some more wine and ordered slave dan to hold the ice bucket containing the bottle of wine between his thighs while folding napkins.
The advance of the 'born overnight Pro Domme' is a sore subject with most of us. It not only affects our business but their impact goes into every belief we hold. Safe, Sane and Consensual! Simple enough until a submissive faces a Domme who does not know what they are doing. it is not just physical injuries but mental and spiritual. It is hard enough for those of us within the BDSM culture to gain any credibility from non BDSMers, the police, media and the law makers. But when we are faced with potential safety disasters, Dommes who try to emulate a cartoon cut-out Domme - it just dirties it for the rest of us. because believe me, it won't take long for a disaster to get reported to the media and we will face a backlash not seen since the Spanner trust.
Much more wine needed now....nicely cooled and served by slave dan. And right n time - issabel with the aperitifs.
The next interesting topic of conversation brought us to the Mistress Wish list. Many of us have a wish list, traditional and time honoured. The lists usually contain anything from lavish wants to general everyday items. There is always a differentiated price to suit all submissives.
The conversation began simply by Mistress Siren announcing she was thinking of deleting her wish list. Her reason being that not one submissive had bothered to purchase anything from her wish list for over a year.
We all nodded in agreement because we all felt the same. It was noted how in the past, new submissives would bring as little something from the wish list to the Mistress on their first session together - be it flowers, perfume or a more expensive choice from the wish list.
Often in the past a submissive would purchase and have delivered an item from a wish list (e.g.: Amazon) as a thank you or as a birthday present for their Mistress.
These days, it seems the traditional giving of gifts has evaporated. I must admit, that I have only had a few purchases through My Amazon wish list. Gifts from my session wish list on my website have been nonexistent - all bar one submissive who brought Me flowers - and I cherished them until they resembled brown paper objects.
What has happened? Is it the quality of the submissives wishing to attend? Could it be they are ignorant? Financial crises. We discussed it for some time and concluded that it couldn't just be the economic climate - a bunch of flowers do not break the bank. Could it be the "I want my monies worth out of every session - costs enough to session anyway - why should I gift you as well?" attitude? Possibly. It could also be that we are mostly dealing with men and they really need to be TOLD what to bring, that they need to gift. But this attitude would take away any responsibility the sub might have - we shouldn't need to demand a basic tradition. If subs or slaves cannot reason for themselves, understand the unwritten rules or know the basics of etiquette, then we need to either make these unwritten rules more easily understood and demand etiquette, resign ourselves to the fact - we need to delete our wish lists, however depressing it may be or accept that there are no longer any deserving submissives.
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