Structure is incredibly useful for persons suffering with
depression. Setting clear, attainable daily tasks (even if your dynamic is long
distance) can do a lot to keep a depressed mood from becoming inability to get
out of bed. In the worst times, it may have to be something as simple as
"You must go to work 4 days out of 5 every week. You must take a shower every
other day at 10:30pm." Simple, everyday tasks can be easier to tolerate if
they're turned into power dynamic chores, rather than just one more thing they
have to try to manage on their own. Professional programs force clients to live
by strict rules about when they wake up, when they eat, when they shower, etc,
and having those things become automated means that they don't have to make any
decisions about it.
On the flip side of that, though, is patience. When
depression is at its worst, things you don't even consider on a daily basis
become arduous tasks. Deciding what to wear can feel like a herculean task,
which is why so many who suffer from depression wear their pajamas for days on
end. Some of these things can be incorporated into your power dynamic, but you
also need to be aware that some days your sub will not be able to achieve these
tasks. At that point, you should also have a boundary which, when crossed,
makes professional intervention mandatory. (If they cannot hold down simple
self care tasks for longer than a week, and they're not in any sort of
professional therapy, this is a good start.)
Your submissive may fantasize about total power exchanges,
where they're no longer responsible for the simplest of decisions in their
life. This is almost always counter productive if they are actively symptomatic
and/or not in treatment. You may use this to your advantage, to encourage
active participation in therapeutic processes -- the more they engage their
treatment, the more power you take from them. It can create some odd exchanges,
like, "If you meet all of your therapists' requests this week, I will give
you one day where all of your decisions will be made by Me."
Find and use non-sexual ways of establishing your power
dynamic. Frequently, depression and the meds used to treat it can kill sexual
desire. This does not always lessen the submissive's desire to serve. Perhaps
just sitting at your feet and being stroked and comforted when things are at
their most challenging helps remind them of the power dynamic without bringing
sex into it at all.
Make sure you're spending time with people who aren't
depressed. There is an energetic field around those suffering from depression
that loves to latch onto others. Frequently, long term partners of depressives
seek out therapy so they can maintain their grip on their own functionality
while assisting their partner.
Make it clear to your sub that suicide threats will always
be taken seriously. You are not a professional (unless you are, and then you're
under different strictures) and should not try to differentiate between
suicidal ideation (talking about suicide as an option) and planning to kill
oneself. Once you take a stand, stick to it no matter how difficult it may be.
Fifteen percent of patients with MDD will kill themselves, and many of them
will show marked signs of their decision, but won't discuss it before it
happens. Know the signs of suicidal tendencies and act when you feel
uncomfortable, even if it's just calling your submissive's therapist and
discussing your feelings with them.
Origonal below.
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