By Kayla Beare - Original Post HERE
In a post-#MeToo world, the need for a clear-cut and
comprehensive definition of sexual consent has become a topic of conversation
for many. The BDSM community is often said to be ahead of the curve in having
this conversation, and there is much that can be learnt from this community.
BDSM, an acronym referring to bondage/discipline, dominance/submission
and sadism/masochism, is a term that encompasses a broad range of intimate
activities that often, but not always, includes some component of sexual play.
BDSM has been around for centuries, as early as Mesopotamian times, but has
only recently become part of public discourse in Western societies thanks to
kinky books and films such as the 50 Shades of Grey series.
Unfortunately, the 50 Shades of Grey series, although hugely
popular, is not an accurate depiction of healthy BDSM. The books, and films,
underplay the consent negotiation process generally present in BDSM play.
Consent in BDSM, much like consent in sex more generally, is often considered
morally transformative. This means that it defines the morality of a sexual
act: without consent, it is abuse but with consent, it is a shared, actively
chosen experience. Consent is so vital
to BDSM play that is one of the tenets of the BDSM code: “risk-aware consensual
kink “ Arguably, we should all be having sex in which we are aware of the risks
and are fully consenting, regardless of whether or not we are engaging in
elements of kink or BDSM. Let’s explore the key facets of the BDSM model of
consent and its use in non-BDSM sex.
