Help defend #BDSM, #LGBTQ, sex work, privacy and free speech.

Help the first UK solicitor to crowd-fund his pro bono work to defend BDSM, LGBTQ, sex work, privacy and free speech.

If you are reading this and you are in the UK, you may one day need a lawyer to defend you and yours against the government’s anti-sexual freedom laws.

Even if you are not in the UK, you may enjoy reading or viewing material produced there, so this affects you too.

“I am the only lawyer in the UK who specialises in obscenity law and sexual freedoms”

Myles Jackman is the lawyer who specialises in this work and he devotes a lot of his time to working pro bono – i.e. for free. Help Myles do this important work by pledging a small monthly sum.

Help defend BDSM, LGBTQ and free speech * Hush-Hush

Myths and Misconceptions About #Kink

Benny Vimes — February 1, 2013

Our culture is full of myths, misconceptions, and confusion about kink, BDSM, and fetishes. We’re going to address 10 of them here; 5 in this article and another coming soon. For each of the misconceptions there will be two answers: one from Benny and one from Cheyenne. That way you can get two different perspectives, but it is also worth saying that like any other identity we can’t speak for everyone who identifies as kinky. The kink world is incredibly diverse!

Also, this post may contain too much sexual content for some readers. If that bothers you, don’t read it.

1) Kink is inherently incompatible with feminism/reifies patriarchy.

Benny – One of the most important tenets of feminism is that people have the right to decide for themselves what the structures of their relationships look like, and what kind of sex they want to have, or not have. Patriarchy tells us there are limited roles people can take in relationships, and that the kinds of sex we can have and the situations in which we have it are limited. A feminist

perspective can open up those options, saying that women, and indeed people of all genders, have the right to make those decisions without consulting a patriarchal society. We have the right to make sexual decisions for ourselves, and we even have the right to define pleasure for ourselves.

When we see a man beating a woman in a BDSM scene, it can look a lot like abuse. It makes sense to question the act of hitting a woman when we live in a society full of non-consensual violence. Without knowing the context of the scene, no wonder people assume it is not okay! However, if that woman ASKED for that scene, specifically requested it, negotiated with the man hitting her, and set limits around what that scene would include, the situation is quite different from the kind of violence that feminism fights against.

Types Of Control in #BDSM

Since the different varieties of BDSM overlap, a mutually exclusive and exhaustive classification system is not very useful. Instead an overview of different types of control allows you to express your wants and needs (and meh’s and do-not-want’s) more clearly with your partner.

Physical Control. 

Bondage is the most obvious form of physical control because it restrains the bottom, thus limiting their physical freedom. Of course, physical control is not only about restraining limbs. It can involve confinement, such as keeping someone prisoner in a dungeon or locking a person on a human-size birdcage. It can involve physically overpowering someone without restraints and instead pinning them down with your forearms or using your body weight to keep them off balance. It may involve having a third person stand guard at the doorway in case the bottom flees.

The essence of physical control is that the bottom is not necessarily playing along with the scenario. He or she can resist. The bottom may struggle against restraints, or try to flee the cage, or fight back in a simulated abduction all as part of the escapist arousal process that lends to the sensation of being overpowered by a stronger force—but not necessarily outsmarted by a superior intellect.

Processing Pain in Play: What Can Interrupt or Block Pain Processing?

 By lunaKM Submissive Guide 

What do you think can interrupt your pain processing ability? If you’ve experienced anything like I have, there are moments where you just can’t change the pain response to anything beyond pain. What normally feels really good is just not. There are a number of things that can block your ability to translate the pain using techniques talked about earlier.

Let’s think about the things that we need to actively process pain and make play enjoyable for both parties. You need focus, trust, little to no distraction, appropriate mood, and a healthy and rested body. Any of these things can fall out of balance and then you may have issues processing pain.

Mood

Mood is separated in two parts. Your emotional state and the environmental mood set up by the scene.

Adventures in Depression Part 2

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

I remember being endlessly entertained by the adventures of my toys. Some days they died repeated, violent deaths, other days they traveled to space or discussed my swim lessons and how I absolutely should be allowed in the deep end of the pool, especially since I was such a talented doggy-paddler.

I didn't understand why it was fun for me, it just was.

Adventures in Depression

Recently, as I was casually surfing the widest web, I came across a blog which caught my attention. The blog had nothing to do with BDSM, or fetish or any of my usual reads, in fact, it was a blog which hit a soft, delicate part of myself - and will anyone who has ever suffered from depression or is currently suffering from depression. Or as I put it - lives with the disease on a daily basis and will do so forever, because it is who we are.

I would like to thank the author... Allie... You have summed it up perfectly.

There are two parts to this topic, the first you will find below and the second will be posted soon.

Here is the actual address of Hyperbole and a half

Some people have a legitimate reason to feel depressed, but not me. I just woke up one day feeling sad and helpless for absolutely no reason.

Alan Groont! We don't want fake #submissives like you!!

Yet again, another story of a submissive who entered into a BDSM relationship with a Mistress and still doesn't realise he is a worthless little pig.. A silly dog who thinks BDSM IS all about 'topping from the bottom'. I call this FAKERY and it should have a punishment all of it's own. Here is what he said:

"There are plenty of real dominants out there who know how to do things the right way, the way I like them.”

THE WAY you LIKE IT??? Read the article here, and if anyone knows his twitter.....

There are several stupid types of submissive, read them here on My blog.

Submissive Alan Groont, 53, says he was shocked and alarmed when his relationship with Mistress Mandy Martin, 28, took a “violent and dramatic turn” after he was caught masturbating in the shower.