The relationship between a Domme and a submissive is
probably the most honest relationship there is. There is no need for lies and
half truths or secrets. This fact is not always on the forefront of my daily
thoughts, but occasionally something is said or acted upon which reminds me
just how open and honest a BDSM relationship can be.
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of one of my long term
submissives kneeling before my feet. We had just finished an hour's intense session
and we were winding down, discussing the session and catching a few minutes of
calmness.
My submissive looked at me and said. "Mistress, you are the one
person on this earth that I can be truly myself. Be truly open and honest with
you. I can talk about issues in my daily life which are problematic . Share my
most inner thoughts with you. I don't have to pretend about who or what I am. I
can be me."
I am not often speechless or void of an instant reflective
comment.The brutal sincerity and openness between a sub and Domme is something I know well. His comments slapped
me into remembering this much taken for granted fact, and like a long forgotten
ache, I had the realisation that I had grown complacent to the wonders of such
an sincere and straightforward relationship.
As Dommes, we are not singularly defined or characterised by
our skill with a bull whip. And our subs are not simply our play things - to degrade,
humiliate and hurt then throw away. We become their counsellors. Their trusted confidant.
A friend whom they can trust without question. Our responsibilities as Dommes
grows from safe, sane and consensual to encompass spiritual, mental and
emotional wellbeing.
I am glad I was reminded about how special a BDSM
relationship can be, how difficult if not impossible it can be to find anything resembling this
openness in the vanilla world, because
the vanilla world is the fictional picket fenced country house. Full of
insecurities, lies and deceptions. Bdsm
allows one to be free - in thought and structure. Free from casual social restraints,
cultural binds and moral servitude.