Pet Shaming..BDSM style

Naming and Shaming your Pets. Amusing....

You need help..but not from me

I have to laugh at some subs sometimes... honestly.....REALLY????

Clint McCance - you're a douchebag!

BDSM Themed CLEANUP

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Your worst nightmare? A BDSM style sexy assault by Agent Provocateur

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Your worst nightmare? A BDSM style sexy assault by Agent Provocateur

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It's gotta be true...It was written in the Daily Mail

A guide to “legitimate” rape??? Is Todd Akin INSANE??

When Todd Akin (the GOP candidate for the U.S. Senate in Missouri) went on television Sunday and explained his opposition to abortion — even in the case of rape — by stating,

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down,”

it was a highly illuminating moment in American discourse. For one thing, it proved that a man with six children can still have absolutely no idea how the female reproductive system works.

A guide to “legitimate” rape

BDSM Warning! please read..(JOKE)

John Doe strode into the bedroom , wearing His leather Postal Worker's uniform. He sneered at the bound and gagged figure on the bed, as He reached into His latex mail bag. Jane Doe, a 29 year old schoolgirl, looked up at her Master, her eyes a mixture of fear and desire. She gasped as He brought a knife with a 9 ~ inch blade out of the bag.

"I saw something on the Internet which I want us to try," He said sternly,

"Are you willing?"

Jane nodded eagerly and mumbled, "yeff Mather".

John smiled as He bent close and cut her free of her bonds.

"Strip", He ordered as He began to remove His own clothes..

Jane quickly complied, wondering what new delights her beloved Master had in store for her.

"Lay back on the bed", He commanded.

Jane did so. John then laid on top of her.

"Tonight my dear", He whispered while reaching for the light switch.. "We are going ........... Vanilla!"

"NOOOOOOoooooooooo", cried Jane as the room plunged into darkness.

The above tale is true. John eventually left Jane to move in with a vanilla woman. They now have a 24/7 vanilla lifestyle, regularly enjoying home improvements, Tupperware parties and only having sex 3 times a year.

Jane was more fortunate and now attends Vanillas Anonymous, with help and guidance she is slowly recovering. Only last week she was able to stand up and say,

"I have the right to more than one sexual position!"

Vanilla is dangerous and should not be practiced at home. 

If anyone offers you vanilla sex, just say No.

This has been a BDSM safety awareness announcement

Just Words

Life of a #BDSM hashtag

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"My Arthritis Flared Up Reading About the Sexual Gymnastics."

Old Man Reviews Fifty Shades of Grey

Courtesy Of Gawker

In light of the "hullabaloo" surrounding BDSM novel Fifty Shades of Grey, elderly Smithtown, New York resident David Shobin gave the lusty lady book a read. Afterwards, he penned a powerfully ambivalent Amazon book review that has since been quoted in The Los Angeles Times and Vanity Fair. (Both publications quoted Shobin as a nameless "Amazon reviewer.")

Here is David Shobin's famous review:

[3 out of 5 stars]

An older man on truckling, March 7, 2012

By david shobin/thatch pond corp

Fifty Shades of Grey (Paperback)

First, a disclaimer. I am a male senior citizen, a semi-retired gynecologist whose customary literary fare is spy novels and military techno-thrillers. I have never read a romance before, except perhaps for junior high's "A Tale of Two Cities" (or was that a classic?) But after the recent hullabaloo over James' "Fifty Shades," I opted to give the genre a glance.

The book's protagonist is college student Anastasia, who has never had sex or even "touched herself." I had to suspend disbelief at the social and sexual naivete of this twenty-one year-old, but I guess this implied vulnerability makes her more attractive as a romantic heroine. Yet it doesn't take her long to rectify this situation, and soon she is having orgasm after orgasm at the behest of her "dominant" partner, Mr. Grey. At my age, my arthritis flared up just reading about Ana's sexual gymnastics. And for some reason, I kept thinking about her contracting genital warts. Soon, however, Ana's endless pyrotechnic climaxes resembled repetitively watching porn: after a while, it leaves me bored and yawning. That said, there was a definite infectiousness to the plot; and taking Viagra to stiffen my resolve, I persevered.

James' strong suit is her ability to elicit sympathy in the protagonist. I wanted to find out what happened to Anastasia, and that lent the story a compelling, page-turning quality. James is a polished novelist. Her dialogue is crisp, her prose poised, and her paragraphs well-parsed. The author's considerable skills notwithstanding, would I pick up an erotic romance like this again? Probably not.

But that's just me.

At press time 3,083 out of 3,228 people had found David Shobin's Fifty Shades of Grey review helpful, making it the "most helpful customer review" of that book. He's the Marilyn Hagerty of literature.

Big Brother Is Watching You (You, Specifically)

In Great Britain, everyone is a film star. That's because, while Brits are only around 1 percent of the global population, they're being watched by 20 percent of the global CCTV cameras. That's more camera surveillance than even communist China. But it's not enough to just have one camera for every 14 people at the London Olympics. So LOCOG is not just installing more surveillance equipment, they're also making it smarter.

There'd better be the disembodied brain of a wounded cop controlling that thing.

The city of London is being wired up with a new range of scanners, biometric ID cards, number-plate and facial-recognition CCTV systems, disease tracking capabilities, new police control centers and checkpoints. All of which will now be under a central control, and yes, that is exactly as sinister as it sounds. This means the cameras are capable of tracking beyond one location -- no more frantically checking every screen, trying to pick up somebody who's walked out of frame. Because the computer does that for you. It can now track individual human beings from camera to camera and plot their progress, location and habits on a live, constantly updating map of Your Business.

"That's expired salsa. Twenty quid says she poops within the next half hour."

And don't think you can get away in a lucky fog or sudden drizzle. CCTV isn't nearly as effective on days when it rains (which you'll remember from our hilarious accidental missile explosion joke earlier is every single day in London), so new thermal imaging technology is being introduced to the CCTV cameras. And not just to watch for suspicious terrorist behavior, like excessive hand wringing and sinister mustache twirling -- they'll also be used to prosecute people selling counterfeit Olympics goods.

That's right: They're arming Big Brother with Predator vision just to stop people from hawking unauthorized Wenlock shirts.

"Hi kids, I'm Wenlock! YOUR WORLD WILL END IN FIRE."

Because there's such an insane demand for merchandise of that adorable angry amorphous robot with the all-seeing eye. Kids just can't get enough of him; he's like Dora the Explorer ... if she were furious, a robot and always watching you.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19932_5-creepy-things-london-did-to-prepare-olympics_p2.html?wa_user1=1&wa_user2=Sports&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=trending_now

"If Wonder Woman is about feminism, The Mighty Thor is all about how wonderful it is to have a penis."

The 6 Most Ridiculous Superhero Weaknesses | Cracked.com

"If Wonder Woman is about feminism, The Mighty Thor is all about how wonderful it is to have a penis."

For whatever reason, comic book writers ran out of weaknesses that make any kind of sense at all right around the time that Green Lantern became weak against yellow.

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Dominatrix | Wonderful Pistachios Get Crackin' Ad (UK) [video]

50 Shades of Grey

Have you read ‘The Book?’”

That’s the question women from the Upper East Side of Manhattan to the suburbs of Seattle are asking each other in increasing numbers — albeit in discreet tones.

“It,” they hardly need add, is “Fifty Shades of Grey” — part of a triple-X trilogy involving sex games and a bondage-loving billionaire. Though the three tomes weigh in at a total of 1,200-plus pages, they seem to whiz by for many, and the books may be poised to become the post-millennial equivalent of “The Story of O,” the notorious piece of kinky erotica that has titillated some and scandalized many others since it first came out in 1954.

Though “Fifty Shades” came out last year with little fanfare from The Writer’s Coffee Shop Publishing House, a small publisher “catering to the needs of aspiring authors,” in its own words, it has already generated almost 6,000 ratings on Goodreads.com, with an impressive 62 percent rating it a 5 out of 5. The book was also nominated for Best Romance in the 2011 Goodreads Choice Awards.