10 TIPS FOR BOLD LIVING FROM A DOMINATRIX

10 TIPS FOR BOLD LIVING FROM A DOMINATRIX

#BDSM 101 - End of Semester examination paper -How well would you do?

COURTESY OF A KIND DOM

If you would like to have a go at this perhaps you might like to copy it into the comments section or onto your own blog. I would be very pleased to have responses emailed to me (at beaudejournee@yahoo.co.uk please.) I will try to reply to any that I receive (with assessment and grading of course!)

Good luck

BDSM 101

End of Semester examination paper

Answer all questions

Time allowed: 90 minutes

Section A

1. RACK or SSC?

a) What do these acronyms mean? Explain in detail.b) Why are they important?c) What are the advantages and disadvantages, strengths and weaknesses of each?d) Which do you adhere to? Justify your decision.

2. Trust is key to any BDSM relationship. Give an example from your own experience of where trust has broken down and describe the consequences.

3. Overheard at a munch. "In the end it is all about sex isn't it?" What do you think he meant? Was he right?

4. Sarah and James were in a close BDSM relationship for 5 years. Sarah suffered from bipolar disorder which was mostly controlled through medication. Before meeting James, Sarah used to self-harm, often through cutting herself. Whilst in the BDSM relationship with James she no longer felt a need to do this. Their BDSM play was somewhat extreme. It involved needle play, stress bondage positions and heavy beatings including use of a whip. Eventually the relationship broke down. Some months later Sarah went to a police station with her lawyer. She claimed she had been restrained, whipped and beaten by James and although she acquiesced at the time, that because of her mental condition she was unable to give informed consent. She showed photographs of scars on her back and breasts. How should the police respond?

Section B

1. Write a haiku about pain.

2. Complete this paragraph, "I am a submissive/switch/dominant (delete as appropriate) because ... The final paragraph should contain EXACTLY 100 words.

3. Write a short story or poem that illustrates the sensuality of submission.

People With Fetishes Are Ashamed

It's no wonder. Our society labels anything sexually different as deviant or perverted. These labels hurt deeply to those whose sexual makeup is out of the norm. Fetishists feel weird, ashamed and guilty for their desires. While the fetish provides pleasure and relief, all these people have feelings of shame about being sexually different.

Fetishists are afraid of sharing their secret with a lover. They fear rejection, ridicule or abandonment. Unfortunately, their fears are not unfounded. Oftentimes, people who disclose to their wives or husbands wish they hadn't. Their partners react with shock or embarrassment promoting even more feels of shame and regret.

Gender and BDSM revisited: Reflections on a decade of researching kink communities

ORIGINAL SOURCE: The British Psychological Society

What lifes really like for Dominatrixes and kink workers

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

BDSM A - Z: An introduction

Anal Play

Acts in which the anus is involved.

Beating (General)

Acts in which one partner is beaten.

Beating - Canes

Acts in which one partner is beaten with a cane.

Beating - Crops

Acts in which one partner is beaten with a crop.

Beating - Floggers

Acts in which one partner is beaten with a flogger.

Beating - Hairbrushes

Acts in which one partner is beaten with a hairbrush.

Beating - Hard

Acts in which one partner is beaten hard.

A practical system of reality checks within S&M. What it means to have Safety, Sanity & Consent.

Many times I have encountered clients / submissives who come to me damaged and fearful. One may assume that the submissive has been damaged by personal experiences, social outcasting, relationship failure or an aspect separate to the BDSM lifestyle. Your assumptions would be incorrect. Most, if not all of my damaged submissives are those damaged by a Top/ Dominant. Usually a Mistress with little practical experience, learned and practiced skills, no understanding of the psychology of BDSM and definitely no understanding of safe, sane & consensual.

1. SM practitioners must strive to make their SM Safe
2. SM practitioners must strive to make their living sane.
3. Obtain consent, and respect the limits and of others.

Most know the basic 3 rules of SSC within S&M. But within these rules are subtle difficulties. Definitions, clarity and a true understanding of what SSC actually means is needed to make these rules work.

Anyone wishing to enter the BDSM realm, whether as a submissive or a Dominant, should make themselves familiar with the proposal below, which outlines a more indepth understanding of what Safe, Sane & Consensual ACTUALLY should mean. 

Below is a proposed definition of SSC (courtesy of LeatherRoses) which ALL tops should read, understand and practice within their S&M.

Permission from client to record sessions - Video / audio / photo

DOWNLOAD PDF HERE

Recording A Session - Permissions

The following type(s) of recording will be permitted during this session:		p Still Photography p Video p Audio
The following use recording(s) will be produced during this session:	p Commercial Public Distribution p Non-Commercial Public Distribution p Commercial Private Distribution p Non-Commercial Private Distribution p Destroyed upon completion of the session p None
The following post-production is required prior to release for specified use:	p Obliteration of identifiable features p Approval of post-production product by participants p Duplication of all original recordings for participant(s) personal use p None
Ownership and copyright of all session recording(s) are hereby assigned to the following person(s) with interests and / or restrictions as annotated: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________

Session Client Medical History - A form to record health / wellbeing.

LINK TO DOWNLOAD

Medical History

Name:			Last STD Test: : ____ _____________ , 20 ___
Do you have a Trichomonas or Yeast Infection?					Yes No
Have you tested Herpes 1 or 2 positive?					Yes No
Have you tested HIV positive?					Yes No
Do you have any current symptoms or historical medical problems involving:
Heart Liver Lungs Kidneys Bladder, Colon or Rectum Dental	Neck or Spinal Cord Bones or Joints Muscles Mucus Membranes Nasal, Oral, Genital Psychological Other: ___________________________
Do you have current symptoms or a medical history of:
Hyperventilation Seizures Dizzy Spells Diabetes	High Blood Pressure Fainting Asthma Other: ___________________________
Do you wear contact lenses or prescription glasses?						Yes No
Do you suffer from any fears or phobias? If so, please describe: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________						Yes No
Do you have any surgical implants? If so, please describe: ________________________________________________________________						Yes No
Do you have any piercings of your:
Ear(s) Nose Eyebrow(s) Tongue		Nipple(s) Navel Genitals Other: ______________________________
Are you currently taking any of the following over-the-counter medications:
Aspirin Anti-Inflammatory Antihistamine		Decongestant Expectorant Other: ______________________________
List all prescription medications you currently take:				_______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________
Known Allergies including tapes and contraceptives:				_______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________
In case of emergency notify: _____________________________________________________________________

QUESTION: What is the evolutionary basis for some humans liking bondage/S&M?

ANSWERS: 

(Add your own in comments)

BDSM is a technique to allow you to achieve reproductive success. In animals, normally a dominant partner is the one to spread his or her genes, so it makes sense to be attracted to dominance as you are mating with the head of the group.

In contrast, if you are a low ranking member, one of the few ways you may be able to become attractive to someone else is to make them feel powerful and in control.

BDSM is an extreme manifestation of those urges.

Sensuous Caning. SETUP, WARM-UP TECHNIQUE. (#SensualCaning)

Author: Conrad Hodson

© 1997, 1998

INTRODUCTION

Canes have a deserved reputation as The Victorian Terror Weapon.  To most submissives, they mean severe punishment; to sensation-seeking S/M bottoms, overload.  If we have care and patience, however, canes can be used in a loving and sensuous way.  The very stiffness of a good cane, that makes a hard stroke so intense, allows the lightest taps to be given with perfect control.  And a light canestroke is easy to aim, unlike a flexible whip that sags and flops at low power.  In the kind of sensuous play I'm describing here, light strokes are far more prevalent and important than heavy ones.