Transgender kids. #LouisTheroux #Transgender

Louis Theroux travels to San Francisco, where a group of pioneering medical professionals are helping children who say they were born in the wrong body to transition from boy to girl or girl to boy at ever-younger ages.

 At the Child And Adolescent Gender Center at UCSF Hospital Louis meets children who have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Louis is told that children as young as three can show signs of rejecting the gender they were assigned at birth, leaving parents with a difficult dilemma - do they start transitioning a child who is still developing their own identity, or do they wait and risk making the change once their body has gone through the transformations of puberty?

 It is a decision that can be the start of a complex series of medical interventions, from puberty blockers to hormone replacement therapy and eventually gender reassignment surgery. Louis spends time with children and their families as they negotiate their way along this life changing and emotional journey.

To buy or not to buy. BDSM & the law

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How Many People Engage in SM?

Thank you to: 

https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/education-outreach/what-is-sm/item/364-what-is-sm-how-many-people-engage-in-sm?.html

A handful of significant sociological studies have been done to determine percentage of the population engages in SM activities.

The 1990 Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex reports:

Global Sex Survey

"Researchers estimate that 5-10 percent of the U.S. population engages in sadomasochism for sexual pleasure on at least an occasional basis, with most incidents being either mild or stage activities involving no real pain or violence. Most often it is the receiver (the masochist), not the giver (the sadist), who sets and controls the exact type and extent of the couple's activities. It might also interest you to know that in many such heterosexual relationships, the so-called traditional sex roles are reversed -- with men playing the submissive or masochistic role. Sadomasochistic activities can also occur between homosexual couples."

June M. Reinisch, Ph.D. with Ruth Beasley, M.L.S (1990). Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex, St. Martin's Press: pg. 162-163.

A new Playboy poll by Dr. Marty Klein appeared in November, 1998, p. 81:

• 18% of the men and 20% of the women have used a blindfold during sex.
• 30% of the men and 32% of the women have tied someone up or have been tied up during sex.



News.com.au

• 49% of the men and 38% of the women have spanked or have been spanked as part of sex.

 A survey by Hunt (1974) of 2,026 respondents found that:

• 4.8% of men and
• 2.1% percent of women had obtained sexual pleasure from inflicting pain and
• 2.5% of the men and
• 4.6% of the women obtained sexual pleasure from receiving pain.

These numbers are probably underestimates, because the erotic response to "pain" is only one aspect of SM. (M. Hunt, Sexual Behavior in the 1970s, Chicago: Playboy Press.)

A mid-1970s independent research organization poll funded by Playboy surveyed 3,700 randomly selected students from 20 colleges found that 12% women and 18% of the men had indicated a willingness to try bondage or master-slave role-playing. (Playboy, "What's Really Happening on Campus", October 1976.)

A survey by E. Hariton (1972) found that up to 49% of women fantasize about submissive scenarios during sexual intercourse with 14% doing so frequently. (E. Hariton, "Women's Fantasies During Sexual Intercourse with their Husbands: A Normative Study with Tests of Personality and Theoretical Models'" unpublished doctoral dissertation, City University of New York.)

Paul H. Gebhard, is an anthropologist and was the executive director of the Institute for Sex Research at Indiana University from 1956 to 1983. Gebhard noted in Fetishism and Sadomasochism (Dynamics of Deviant Sexuality, 1969, pg. 79.) that "consciously recognized sexual arousal from sadomasochistic stimuli are not rare." The Institute for Sex Research found that one in eight females and one in five males were aroused by sadomasochistic stories.

In 1929, Hamilton's marriage habits survey reported that 28% of men and 29% of women admitted they derived "pleasant thrills" from having some form of "pain" inflicted in them. (G.V. Hamilton, A Research in Marriage, Boni, New York.)

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As a kinkster, who will you be voting for this general election? POLL

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This murder in Ireland has made me rethink my sexual practices - BDSM safety V abuse

THE ISSUE OF 'PERSONAL SAFETY' IS A VERY IMPORTANT ONE WITHIN THE BDSM COMMUNITY. 

Emer O'Toole's article in the Guardian Newspaper reminded me how we must never forget personal safety, the safety of all within the BDSM community. It may be a subject we don't vocalise enough, but we should shout it out more often. Abuse is everywhere. Mental, physical, emotional. As a community, we should be taking a more pro active personal involvement towards safety. 

Below is Emer O'Toole's article, I have also linked other articles which relate directly to abuse and BDSM.

"In Dublin, Graham Dwyer, a married architect, has been convicted of the murder of Elaine O’Hara, a child care worker with whom he was engaged in a BDSM relationship. The motive was sexual gratification. O’Hara was vulnerable, suffering from mental health issues, and Dwyer exploited this, banking on the likelihood that her disappearance would be read as suicide. He hid evidence of the murder at the bottom of a reservoir. If it were not for 2013’s unusually hot, dry summer, that’s where the truth would have remained, and Dwyer would be walking free.

 A woman is dead: another victim of intimate partner violence. And treating her death with due respect should mean an examination of the social context that allowed a man to convince a woman that his sexual desire to stab and kill her was within the bounds of the acceptable. It should mean attention to the cultural mainstreaming of BDSM.

On Valentine’s Day this year, Universal Pictures released its film adaptation of EL James’s erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey. Back in 2012, The Guardian asked me to review the book to mark the sale of its ten-millionth copy. I kept it light – riffing on James’s infamously terrible prose and characterisation, and musing as to whether the far-away film version wouldn't leave us feeling a little less glib and little more, well, worried. The day is come, and I admit a heavier feeling. What is, at heart, the tale of an abusive relationship in which a reluctant, inexperienced and infatuated young girl is controlled and beaten by a rich sadist, is now being offered up as a sweet Valentine’s Day treat for naughty couples.

BDSM communities have been quick to distance themselves from Fifty Shades, and, indeed, from any beliefs or behaviours incompatible with informed, enthusiastic and uncoerced consent. This is because BDSM communities are often, in my experience, very politically switched-on places. However, it’s also my experience that kink communities are reluctant to acknowledge problems with the ideologies underlying their sexual practices, focusing instead on the pleasure or relationship benefits to be gained from BDSM.

I’m making this critique not as a judgmental outsider, but as someone who participates in BDSM behaviours and events and understands the excitement to be found therein. I’m making this critique not as a kink-shamer, but as a challenge to myself: what are my reasons and justifications for inviting or accepting male sexual violence? And, at this point in history, when kink is becoming ubiquitous, I’m calling on all responsible, egalitarian kinksters to take a step back from personal desire and pleasure and ask similar questions.

We live in a sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist society. This gross fact informs our identities, our beliefs and our desires: it’s part of us at the most fundamental cognitive level. A prevalent theory in kink communities is that BDSM creates a sandbox or play space around impulses that have their roots in sexism or other prejudice, consensually mirroring non-consensual societal power dynamics. The sandbox allows role play that expurgates, inverts or otherwise contains hierarchical desires. It may give subs control over situations that would – in reality – make them feel powerless, or allow doms to cathartically express violent urges: in short, the sandbox gets it all out of our systems.

Except, this isn’t how human psychology functions. We do not siphon off fiction or play from our social realities. Rather, the values and norms of the fictions we consume or participate in suffuse our world views and influence our actions.

Participating in violent sports or fictions does not always make us less violent, in fact it can do the opposite. Watching aggressive pornography does not quell our desire for aggressive pornography, but, contrarily, can create a desire for increased violence. If we know and believe this about video games, movies and porn, then why do we suddenly deny it when it comes to BDSM? Perhaps it’s because it makes us feel defensive, and so, instead of conscientiously examining a) the social conditions that have led to our fetishisation of female pain and submission, and b) the ways in which our sexual practices strengthen and reinforce those social conditions, we shout “kink-shamer”.

In the 1970s, this issue split second wave feminism. Activists such as Robin Morgan, Alice Walker and everyone’s favourite straw-woman Andrea Dworkin wrote smart, impassioned rhetoric against BDSM. And sex-positive feminists such as Susie Bright and Candida Royalle reacted just as passionately and intelligently, with publications and erotic projects proclaiming that they’d fought long and hard for their sexual liberation, and they weren't going to be told what to do with their beds and bodies by priest, pastor or feminist sister. In 2015, at this powerful moment in feminism and with this sea-change in social attitudes towards BDSM, I believe it’s time to reopen the debate in a spirit of solidarity, openness and honesty. I believe that we owe this to vulnerable women, like Elaine O’Hara, whose submissive desires can leave them open to male aggression in the most tragic of ways."

MISTRESS LEYLA ~ BDSM

Some Notes On Safety For Meeting Online and Off

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Detecting Fakes

Every day I am confronted by friends, acquaintances and those recommended to seek Me out with questions regarding a person (or people) that they feel may be perpetrating a scam against them. I don't mean the common E-Mail scams (such as "Viagra Cheep" or "Lose 40 pounds by Summer") but the much more insidious scam involving the creation of one or more fake personalities.

The key difference between S&M and ABUSE

Consent = Is an agreed approval of what is done and/or proposed by another. Abuse = to use so as to injure or damage: MALTREAT Abuse is not negotiated Abuse is an out of control environment Abuse does not have safe words An abuser does not give a damn about the victim Abuse is always one sided Abuse is never negotiated.

I Never Called it Rape: Addressing Abuse in BDSM Communities - KinkAbuse.com


Thinking More Clearly About BDSM versus Abuse - Clarisse Thorn


What is the Difference Between BDSM and Abuse






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A 'whoops' or not. Internet surfing and the badly placed advertising.

 Firstly, I ask you..... What do you see in the web snippet below???

OK.... This is what I see: 

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TRANS-DENYING FEMINISTS (AKA “TERFS”) – TRANSPHOBIC OR JUST PLAIN WRONG?

"I had generally avoided the “debate” over trans rights and transphobia, which is characterised by plenty of heat and little light, until I debated against Julie Bindel last year on pornography at the University of Essex. There had been calls to cancel the debate, based on Bindel’s alleged transphobia (despite the debate having nothing to do with the issue), and we were inevitably met by a shouty little group of students accusing Bindel of being a TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist)."

Trans-Denying Feminists (aka "TERFs") - Transphobic or Just Plain Wrong? - Sex & Censorship





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A Field Guide to Procrastinators

This comic from twenty Pixels came out a couple of weeks ago, but I'm just now getting around to sharing it with you. But that's nothing compared to how long it took 20px to actually get around to drawing it! 

Which kind of procrastinator are you? And don't try to tell us you never put off 'til tomorrow what you should do today. I am at least half of these types

SOURCE

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Uganda: ‘Toxic laws’ cause surge in homophobic hate crimes

“Repression in Uganda is increasingly state sanctioned through the use of blatantly discriminatory legislation that erodes rights guaranteed in the country’s Constitution."

Uganda: 'Toxic laws' cause surge in homophobic hate crimes

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From India and Turkey to Oxford, we live in a perpetual state of war against women

On some days I don’t need to read the news. I know it already. It is basically a list of the women and girls who are the latest to be abused and killed. If it is nearer to us – a teenager murdered and dismembered – we are saddened, while consuming every detail. The dead girl’s face will watch us for a while. And just when it feels too much, her face will soon be replaced by another.

We fixate on individual loss as we feel our way for clues that might help us escape our already dark imaginings. And in the night we wonder where our children are, and who they are with, and what they are doing; we walk ourselves through scenarios in which somehow these awful things would not happen to our children. Or to us. Or to anyone we know. This is the collective secret of motherhood. Let it be someone else’s.

Now, though, we are at one of the recurring stages in the news cycle where, unless we switch off altogether, some things become impossible to ignore – although of course they have been ignored deliberately for a long time. The abuse of young girls? Now it is Oxford – nice Oxford, where in fact a quarter of children live below the poverty line. As with Rotherham and Rochdale, the stories of ongoing abuse and rape finally emerge. If this is all about Pakistani grooming gangs, indeed let’s investigate it fully. But such gangs can operate only in an environment in which the adults who come into contact with these girls do not appear to value them or see them as children. Even when they are turning up with their crotches soaked in blood they are seen to have consented to relationships with much older men, or memorably described as “unrapeable”. Consent only exists for the right class of women.

The right class of women are certainly not to be found in Yarl’s Wood, where asylum seekers are detained. As with the child-abuse stories, all those who work with refugees have been talking about the sexual harassment and self-harming that has been going on there for a long time. This is not a sudden revelation, but now the evidence is there: Serco, the private company running the centre, may have to answer some serious questions. The abuse is systemic.

After years of silence, Turkey’s women are going into battle against oppression  ~ Elif Shafak

In Turkey, women have been out on the streets because of a rising tide of sexual and domestic violence. Since Özgecan Aslan, a 20-year-old student, was murdered after an attempted rape and her burned body found by a riverbed, women have been vocal about the rolling back of their rights by the AK party, with many of its supporters saying that the murdered woman was to blame for seeking “sexual freedom”.

In India, politicians want to ban India’s Daughter, Leslee Udwin’s important documentary about the gang rape of Jyoti Singh. In this film, one sees the attitudes of the rapists and the defence lawyers. It is hard to say which are the most disgusting. Over and over, they state that basically she deserved it for being out with her boyfriend, and that if she had not fought back she might still be alive.

The response of the Indian political class at the time of the attack was appalling, many talking about “adventurous spirit” leading to inevitable rape. Singh was flown out for medical treatment in Singapore, so horrific were her internal injuries, and when she died there her body was brought back not to her village, but cremated at night to avoid more protests. Television at the time – I was there – was suddenly full of middle-class women from Delhi also saying they did not feel safe.

So sexual autonomy and freedom from violence remain an impossibility for most of the world’s women.

In this country, we move from one abuse story to another, not wanting to make the necessary connections. Rape is now recognised as a war crime. What isn’t recognised is that we live in a perpetual state of war. Here comes the obligatory qualifier: terrible things happen to men and boys too. Not all men and boys are terrible, but we operate in a system in which half of us live in fear. According to our level of privilege, we can mute that fear or we can insulate ourselves by focussing on ever-smaller issues. Thus we have feminism as a series of lifestyle choices: can I be a feminist and wear frills/join Isis/not like the new Madonna album?

Sure, that’s easier than trying to dismantle a system that operates very well for some, the world over. When David Cameron says he is going to do something about child abuse, one wonders how he will admit its scale, or admit that the lives of working-class girls are not important to him and, even if they were, that this is beyond the scope of his rudderless government. The make-believe election we are having will always be more of a priority for those who run things.

The war against women is waged routinely and globally. Equality of the most basic kind cannot exist when a woman’s life and her words are always worth less than a man’s. But in the darkness of the night, what haunts us are not broken systems but the faces of the broken girls. So, so many. All the time.

ORIGINAL SOURCE: GUARDIAN: Suzanne Moore


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Turkey’s first women’s daily aims to make women’s voices heard

Turkey’s first ever women’s daily newspaper continues to be published in the southern province of Mersin, where 20-year-old university student Özgecan Aslan was brutally murdered last month.

“Mersin Kadın Gazetesi,” (Mersin Women’s Daily) which only employees women staff, has been appearing for five years and aims to end violence against women and amplify their voices.

It recently published a special edition for March 8 International Women’s Day, printed on a purple background, using photographs of the killed Aslan and many other women who shared the same fate on its front page. Some 5,000 copies were printed and distributed free of charge.

Zeliha Akkuş, the daily’s grant holder and a retired teacher, said they do not cover topics that other newspapers use to catch women’s interest.

“We do not cover topics such as cellulitis, hair care, or how to chat up man. Rather, we cover violence against women and women’s rights stories,” said Akkuş.

She added that the daily’s op-eds are generally written by housewives writing about their daily life experiences.

“In their pieces, women write about their experiences as if they are chatting with their neighbors,” said Akkuş, adding that they often get positive reactions from men as well.

She also explained the meaning of the daily’s logo and the message it gives to readers.

“In the logo, we have a high-heeled shoe and a butterfly. The shoe means that we, women, are coming with our footsteps. The butterfly symbolizes a call that even though the life of women is short, they should participate in solidarity acts and events,” said Akkuş.

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‘Fifty Shades Explored’ – A Qualitative Study of How Female Readers of Sexually Explicit Material View ‘Dominant/Submissive’ Sex and Relationships

This study aimed to investigate how female readers of sexually explicit material view ‘dominant/submissive’ sex and relationships. This was achieved through a qualitative design, utilising open-ended questionnaires and grounded theory analysis. 

The results indicate several areas whereby exposure to Fifty Shades of Grey and its associated ‘phenomenon’ was perceived to have influenced attitudes on a personal and wider level- namely through a process of increasing knowledge, awareness, openness and acceptance accompanied by reducing stigma and, in some cases, influencing behaviour. These findings can be utilised to orientate further exploratory investigation of the influence of erotic literature on women’s attitudes.


ANDREW ROSS









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Most Americans think torture can be justified, but hardly anyone thinks "rectal feeding" is acceptable

This week saw the release of a long-awaited U.S. Senate report detailing the post-9/11 CIA detention and interrogation program with a focus on the agency's the use of torture. According to the report, interrogation procedures used on some detainees that were much harsher and less effective than previously acknowledged. Critics, including former CIA interrogators and Bush administration officials, have called the report politically motivated and inaccurate.

When Americans are asked about suspected terrorists “who may know details about future attacks against the U.S.”, only 24% are prepared to say the use of torture is “never” justified. Nearly as many, 20%, say the use of torture is “always” justified, while the remainder say it’s either “sometimes” (28%) or only “rarely” (18%) justified – a total of 66% who are unwilling to rule out torture completely. There has been little change in views from April, before the release of the report, when 22% said torture was never justified.

Ask people specifically about interrogation tactics detailed in the report, and a more complicated picture emerges. In fact only one tactic – depriving a detainee of sleep – is deemed acceptable by the majority of the public. More people reject than accept seven of the eight other tactics, including waterboarding, which is seen as unacceptable by 45-35%.

By far the least popular tactic was feeding a detainee by pumping a food into his anus, a practice the report calls “rectal feeding”, which three-quarters of Americans say is unacceptable.

Like so many other issues, views about torture are highly polarised politically. 38% of Democrats say torture is never justified, compared to just 11% of Republicans. Republicans are also more open to all of the specified tactics than their Democratic counterparts. In fact, while Democrats tend to say all of the nine tactics are unacceptable, Republicans tend to say all of them are acceptable with one exception – people of all political persuasions reject the use of rectal feeding.

 

People are divided along these same political lines on several other aspects of the debate over the torture, some addressed by the report. 54% Democrats believe the information gained through torture is unreliable; 56% of Republicans think it’s reliable. 58% of Democrats think it is possible to fight terrorism without using torture, while 46% of Republicans think it’s impossible.

PA image

This article has been edited for clarity.

SOURCE: https://yougov.co.uk/news/2014/12/14/americans-find-some-tortures-more-acceptable-other/

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From “SSC” and “RACK” to the “4Cs”: Introducing a new Framework for Negotiating BDSM Participation

Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, Volume 17, July 5, 2014

www.ejhs.org

D J Williams, PhD: Center for Positive Sexuality (Los Angeles) and Idaho State University

Jeremy N. Thomas, PhD: Idaho State University

Emily E. Prior, MA: Center for Positive Sexuality (Los Angeles) and College of the Canyons

M. Candace Christensen, PhD: University of Texas at San Antonio

************* 

Abstract

The BDSM (consensual sadomasochism) community has commonly utilized Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC), or more recently Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) as basic frameworks to help structure the negotiation of BDSM participation. While these approaches have been useful, particularly for educating new participants concerning parameters of play, both approaches appear to have significant practical and conceptual limitations. In this paper we introduce an alternative framework for BDSM negotiation, Caring, Communication, Consent, and Caution (4Cs), and discuss its potential advantages.

Background and Introduction

From the time of Richard von Krafft-Ebing’s (1886/1978) text Psychopathia Sexualis, BDSM has commonly been assumed to be motivated by an underlying psychopathology. Although biases and misinterpretations among professionals still remain (see Hoff & Sprott, 2009; Kolmes, Stock, & Moser, 2007; Wright, 2009), researchers have consistently shown that BDSM cannot be explained by psychopathology (i.e., Connelly, 2006; Cross & Matheson, 2006; Powls & Davies, 2012; Richters, de Visser, Rissel, Grulich, & Smith, 2008; Weinberg, 2006). Some scholars have recognized that not only is BDSM participation not associated with psychopathology, but that it may be associated with desirable psychological states that are often associated with healthy leisure experience (Newmahr, 2010; Taylor & Ussher, 2001; Williams, 2006, 2009; Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013). Indeed, a widespread shift in understanding seems to be occurring wherein consensual BDSM participation is believed to be an acceptable expression of sexuality and/or leisure.

In light of this shift and in combination with the development of community-based research as a methodological strategy across the social sciences generally, an exciting recent development is the formal collaboration between scholars and communities of people with alternative sexual identities, including BDSM. The Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities (CARAS) was formed in 2005 and combines the knowledge and strengths of scholars and community members to produce high-quality knowledge that can directly benefit the community (Sprott & Bienvenu II, 2007). We welcome this development, and it is in the spirit of mutual benefit that we write the present paper. In fact, we are both scholars and also members of the BDSM community. Hopefully, our discussion here will generate insights among both academics and nonacademics.

In this paper, we summarize the popular BDSM community mottos of Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) and Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) before proposing what we think is an improved approach, which we call the Caring, Communication, Consent, and Caution (4Cs) framework. Since each framework explicitly includes the precise concept of consent, we will discuss a few of the thorny issues surrounding the notion of consent within the 4Cs model a little bit later in the paper, rather than in our summary of SSC and RACK. We do this simply as a matter of retaining a consistent overall structure for readers.

Dis-identification: Alternative Sexuality and Gender Identities in Sadomasochistic Praxes

Ingrid Olson

Introduction

Sexuality and gender identities hold subversive potential. Contemporary academic work on sexuality and gender has targeted issues such as gender oppression,  sexual objectification,  and intersex, transsexual and transgender categorizations.  However, the creation and recognition of alternative, non-normative sexuality and gender identifications has been largely overlooked by the academic community. The study of sexuality is the study of power. Nowhere is this truer than in sadomasochism, the negotiated, consensual exchange of power. The practices and relationship schemata within the sadomasochistic community represent a paradigm for investigating alternative sexuality and gender identities. Members of the leather  community often engage in communication and negotiation for the specific purpose of developing consensual sexuality and/or gender roles within the framework of power exchange relationships. These subsequent alternative  sexuality and gender identities can be regarded as seditious as they problematize traditional, binary sex/gender categorizations, and sexual relationships based on expectations of symmetry and gentleness.

Consent and Consciousness: Policy Versus Practice in Sadomasochism

INGRID OLSON:

The study of sexuality is the study of power, nowhere is this truer than with sadomasochism (S/m), the negotiated, consensual exchange of power. Sexuality is defined through policy and practice, the public and the private, the permissible and the forbidden. The 1990 ‘Spanner Case’ in Manchester, England, determined S/m is impermissible because judicial policy states persons cannot consent to S/m activities as they have the potential to cause bodily harm. The 2004 ‘Sweet Productions’ case in Vancouver, Canada, determined that the practice of S/m is permissible because it is a normal form of sexuality that some members of society enjoy. The adherence to policy in the ‘Spanner Case’ and the recognition of practice in the ‘Sweet Productions’ decision distinguish the power of policy and practice in defining sadomasochism.

Fifty Shades of Grey: what BDSM enthusiasts think.

How well does EL James know the BDSM world? Is Christian Grey a psychopath? Would a real-life Anastasia submit so quickly? Our trio of experts give their verdict on Fifty Shades of Grey?

‘Real sex has spit and sweat’

Emily Sarah.Photograph: Felix Clay

Emily Sarah, 26, is a fetish model and performer who runs BDSM Healing, a business that combines techniques like reiki with sensory deprivation, bondage and spankings to deal with “the cathartic aspects of BDSM”. She discovered the fetish scene while at university in London.

I was shocked by how awful the film was. Ridiculous, really. The sex scenes were so vanilla. It didn’t look particularly kinky to me. There was a lot of beautiful equipment, but not much going on in terms of actual BDSM: it was just about Christian tying Anastasia up. In real BDSM relationships, there’s a lot more connection, a lot more talking, a lot more ritual. The play he did with her wasn’t hard play; it was sensation stuff. I switch between dominant and submissive, so I can see how she’d enjoy the scenes in the Red Room – but it didn’t show an authentic side to BDSM. It was more him stroking her for a bit with a whip, then lots of sex. That was it.

BDSM Roleplay: A traditional caning with a difference.

Lady Leyla acts as the deputy headmistress responsible for administering all corporal punishment in the school. The essence of this scenario is in building up the fear and anticipation of the punishment, and there is no additional humiliation beyond what is required of the culprit in presenting his/her backside to receive the cane.

#BDSM Scenario: Something special, which will intrigue you.

Your Ladyship has instructed me to attend at a particular time, with the promise of "something special, which You are sure will intrigue me". When I ring Your doorbell, I am immediately amazed by Your Astounding Beauty, as you stand at the door dressed in a wonderful filmy dress, very shear stockings and extremely high-heeled boots.

When your BDSM lifestyle conflicts with your Vanilla lifestyle.

Mistress Lady Leyla

In all the time I have been a Domme, there is one issue I find I cannot easily help My submissive's with - conflict between their Vanilla & BDSM lives. Many a time I have been confided in by my submissive's  about the conflict they feel, live and anguish over. Most of my submissive's live an ordinary Vanilla lifestyle outside of sessions with Me. They are usually male, happily married and love their wife and family. But they have a secret - as 90% of my submissive's have - and that is their enjoyment of BDSM.

8 Levels of Dominance

The non-Dominant "kinky" lover:

This person is not into power exchange and being in control. They only enjoy the heightened sexuality the D/s scene brings to them.  They feel "safe" in the scene if both the parties involved are having fun.  The normally won't try new things without first being told by the submissive specific things they would enjoy.  Their pleasure is from the sexual activity and not from spanking the submissive or being in control.

The role playing Dominant but not a Master:

People With Fetishes Are Ashamed

It's no wonder. Our society labels anything sexually different as deviant or perverted. These labels hurt deeply to those whose sexual makeup is out of the norm. Fetishists feel weird, ashamed and guilty for their desires. While the fetish provides pleasure and relief, all these people have feelings of shame about being sexually different.

Fetishists are afraid of sharing their secret with a lover. They fear rejection, ridicule or abandonment. Unfortunately, their fears are not unfounded. Oftentimes, people who disclose to their wives or husbands wish they hadn't. Their partners react with shock or embarrassment promoting even more feels of shame and regret.

BDSM Mistress Video

Mistress Leyla by Slidely Slideshow

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Gender and BDSM revisited: Reflections on a decade of researching kink communities

ORIGINAL SOURCE: The British Psychological Society

Preventing Domestic Violence in the Leather/BDSM/Fetish Community

A booklet on abuse within BDSM community and prevention. This is linked to my earlier post BDSM in mainstream and abuse

CLICK TO VIEW LEAFLET

CLICK TO VIEW LEAFLET