Hello and WELCOME @tvMistressPaula - newest delicious blogger

It is hard to find great blog writers with super saucy, deviant and delicious interests. So, it is with GREAT PLEASURE that I welcome tvMistress Paula to this growing blog of wicked writers.

You can also reach her at: https://twitter.com/tvMistressPaula

Read her post here

From wannabe to slave to tvMiss to cuckold...and more

Well it's an honour to be granted permission to contribute to Mistress/Lady Leylas blog.  I hope I can add a differing dimension to this wonderful alternative lifestyle that 'we' with live, dream about, dip in and out of or just purely fantasise about.

I am one of the lucky ones in my view and it's been a long and sometimes painful journey...and that's with no pun intended!!!

More posts will follow but it is fair to say I have 'been there' when it comes to understanding this lifestyle.  Have I seen it all...well no, I would not be arrogant enough to say that...but at the same time I do understand a lot, have lived a lot and very much understand the mind of a slave.  I know how to serve and as a result I know and understand how a Mistress should be served too.  In tune I know how to dominate men and know what makes them 'tick' and what buttons to press..or not press as the case may be.  Takes one to know one and all that! :)

MPs, celebrities, abuse, child protection and counselling

We have seen and heard a lot recently in the news about children who have been abused by MPs and celebrities. The clearest point which has come out of these despicable acts is the need to protect our children. It couldn't be clearer. But, one area of child protection which has not been fully promoted via the media is that children need therapy and support. Children with mental distress and Survivors of abuse need a clear and positive path to recovery. Mental health problems usually bring about a complex set of emotions which children have difficulty understanding. Children suffering from mental distress may be unable to understand what they are experiencing and why they are feeling the way they do, often keeping their thoughts and feelings hidden away.

Here is a stark fact: 

One in ten children between the ages of one and 15 has a mental health disorder. (The Office for National Statistics Mental health in children and young people in Great Britain, 2005)

Why am I writing this article? To raise awareness of a problem which we may not be aware of - The lack of quality therapeutic resources for children.

The demand for quality therapeutic services for children far exceeds the actual availability of these services. There is a huge gap between what is available and what is needed.

Many children do not get the support and counselling they need. There are very few excellent services, even fewer specialist services especially for sexual assaults and rape. So why is there such a limited service? The answer is simply a lack of funding.

Therapeutic counselling services have complex funding arrangements, often having two or more sources of income that tend to be short-term, unstable and insecure. Shortfalls from such unstable and short-term funding are of significant concern to managers across all sectors of provision. It hampers the nature of therapeutic work, which often needs to be long-term.

Let me put the above into a practical context - I am a supporter of one particular therapeutic counselling service for children and young adults based in Basingstoke - YPI Counselling. The manager ( who is also a remarkable counsellor ) spends a lot of time trying to procure grants and donations. YPI have a waiting list, a long waiting list of children waiting for much needed counselling services and when they are able to obtain counselling, it is for a limited time. I have often discussed this issue with the manager - why the waiting list is so long and why the counselling cannot be for longer periods of time. Her answer is always the same - MONEY. More money would mean more quality counsellors. Due to shortfalls in funding and donations YPI find it very difficult to employ more trained BACP accredited counsellors (http://www.bacp.co.uk/accreditation/). More funding and donations would mean more staff sharing the workload, shorter lists and the children would also get more therapeutic sessions.

£40.00 pays for 1 counselling support session.

We need to support all children. As a community of adults, it benefits us all in the long term to help support our children and young adults.

I am going to ask each one of you who is reading this article now to consider donating to YPI Counselling. I have chosen YPI because I know how hard working and dedicated the staff are - many of whom are voluntary. I know how much support and help they provide children and young adults. Please, ( you will not hear a Dominatrix say this word often ) please consider donating and supporting YPI.

Services for children and young adults are not only too few but those that do exist far exceed their capacity.

If you are an organisation or work for a company which offers grants to small charities, please encourage them to donate on behalf of all the staff. I am hoping that you will choose to support YPI and the great work they do mending our children.

Below are the links for the YPI Counselling homepage and their DONATIONS page. If you would rather discuss long-term funding through individual donations or corporate donations, you can contact the manager:

01256 423 878 / 0800 910 1822 

Thank you.

YPI Counselling HOMEPAGE

YPI Counselling DONATIONS

YPI Counselling Corporate Grants

**************

Areas of mental distress common among children and young people

Anxiety and Anxiety related problems

Anxiety is usually defined by heightened awareness, uneasiness, nervousness and dread or fear of either real or imagined dangers. Though it is entirely natural to feel a anxious now and then, perhaps before a test or a big meeting, when it becomes excessive to the point it is impacting our ability to go about our everyday activities this is an indication that it is progressing into problem and help should be sought.

Below is a list of anxiety in its variety of forms:

Generalised anxiety disorder

In this situation there is nothing specific which is causing or triggering the anxiety but there is an ongoing fear that something bad is going to happen. In the instance of a child, they may feel like they have no control over the situation which will result in physical side effects such as stomach aches, headaches and sleeplessness and relationships may also be affected.

Hypochondriasis

Hypochondriasis is the fear of having a fatal disease despite there being no evidence indicating this may happen. Similarly to the generalised anxiety disorder it can take on a physical form causing stomach aches, headaches and nausea. Often associated with young adults.

Phobias

Fear of a certain object, person or situation etc that gives the individual an overwhelming desire to avoid it despite it presenting no danger. Phobias become a serious issue when they start preventing a person from functioning on an everyday level.

Separation anxiety

Young children will often become distressed when separated from their parents, but this kind of anxiety in older childhood or adolescence may indicate a wider problem. This may occur when a young person experiences change or an upheaval of some description such as divorce of their parents, a bereavement or moving home and schools. Excessive crying when parents leave, difficulty sleeping or refusal to go to school are also all symptoms.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

ADHD currently affects around 1.7 per cent of the UK population, most of whom are children3. The condition causes its sufferers to become easily distracted often with a short attention span. Children with ADHD may also find it difficult to interact and play with other children as they don't exhibit safety awareness or courtesy when it comes to taking turns and often become aggressive. ADHD is directly associated with school failure, exclusion and poor future prospects.

Autism

Though not a mental illness, Autism is known to cause difficulties in communication and social interaction all of which affect a young persons ability to understand emotions of others, social behaviour or the concept of danger. The term also covers other disorders such as Asperger syndrome.

Bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder otherwise known as manic depression is an illness characterised by abnormal mood swings of periods of extreme highs and euphoria often followed by deep lows and unhappiness.

Depression

Though we tend to associate depression with adults the common condition also occurs in children and is usually noticed through a change in behaviour and or feelings of despair. Currently almost 80,000 children and young people suffer from severe depression.

Additional symptoms include a change in eating habits, sleeping patterns, school performance, motivation and concentration and often manifests as anger and rage. If left to continue untreated many of these symptoms progress and destructive habits such as self harm and substance abuse (both of which are growing in this group). However, the condition is treatable especially if early diagnosis is sought and support is given from friends and family.

Eating distress

According to the Mental Health Foundation both anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are the most common forms of eating disorders, affecting around 2 per cent of adult females. Various research suggests that eating disorders tend to set in during teenage years, peaking around the age of 16.

Anorexia nervosa

A person suffering from anorexia nervosa often has an extremely distorted body image and an intense fear of gaining any weight. Though a sufferer may be hungry they inflict weight loss by banishing any calorific foods and fats. The condition is more common among girls usually beginning in mid teens and has very little to do with looking good and more to do with deep rooted emotional problems and the need for an element of control.

Bulimia nervosa

Though this condition is more common among girls, the number of boys affected each year is continuing to rise. The condition see's the sufferer alternate between binge eating and self induced purging (vomiting or use of laxatives and diuretics). Similarly to anorexia the condition is usually indicative of a deeper underlying issue and the sufferer will more often than not try to keep it hidden.

Binge eating

Binge eating is the term used to describe a disorder which see's sufferers eat extreme quantities of food, often when not hungry. Afterwards the young person will usually feel ashamed and embarrassed about the eating and may feel as though they are out of control. If the condition persists it is likely to cause weight gain which brings about additional conditions both physically and mentally.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

Obsessive compulsive disorder is essentially reoccurring thoughts and obsessions which the sufferer will feel the need to carry out in a repetitive and ritualised fashion, for example counting, repeatedly checking if something is locked or closed, touching, excessively washing hands etc. Usually the compulsive acts stem from a fear that something bad may happen if they are not carried out.

Schizophrenia

Though schizophrenia is rare in young people there are cases in which children exhibit signs early on. Symptoms include a fear of other people, difficulty distinguishing reality from fantasy, hearing voices and delusions and generally sufferers will perceive the world quite differently from others and are withdrawn and often devoid of emotion.

Self-harm

Self-harm is usually a sign and expression of a deep rooted emotional problem and often young people use it as a way of coping with difficult feelings they may be having. Self-harm often involves making cuts in the skin with blades, glass or sharp objects and other methods such as rubbing, burning, scratching and swallowing objects. It is estimated that 1 in 15 young people have deliberately self-harmed, with additional evidence suggesting that UK rates of self-harm are higher than the rest of Europe.

Suicide

Suicide in young people is usually linked with depression, loss, abuse or other issues from which they feel there is no other way out. According to a study cited in the Samaritans report on young people and suicide, there are an estimated 24,000 suicide attempts made by 10 to 19 year olds in England and Wales each year, which amounts to one attempt every 20 minutes.

Sleep problems

Difficulty sleeping may take the form of nightmares, night terrors and or sleepwalking. Unlike many of the other types of distress listed in this section a sleep problem is not necessarily an indicator of an underlying issue and may have more to do with television programmes and eating habits etc. However, if the problem does persist for an extended period of this time this may indicate a deeper emotional cause.

Substance misuse

Alcohol, drug and substance misuse can often result in serious physical consequences including that of addiction. Many young people turn to these substances as a way of escaping from complex emotional issues and mental health problems that would benefit from more appropriate interventions such as counselling.

Child abuse

Figures compiled by the NSPCC Child Protection Awareness and Diversity Department state that there were 31,919 children named on the child protection registers on the 31st March 2006.

Additional figures from the NSPCC suggest that some 7 per cent of children are physically abused by their parents or carers, 1 per cent of under 16s are sexually abused by a parent or carer, a further 3 per cent are sexually abused by another relative, 11 per cent are sexually abused by a non relative and 5 per cent are sexually abused by a stranger.

Though the exact prevalence of child abuse is unknown, researchers believe it to be far higher than the figures of recorded cases suggest, with numbers such as the 112,000 children counselled by ChildLine in 2001/02 adding further weight to the mounting evidence. Of those 112,000 children, 21,000 sought advice about physical or sexual abuse.

Understanding Submission

Introduction

I like to understand things. I like to know what is really going on. I like to be as good as I can in what I do. To this end, being the analytical type that I am, I like to have a model, or theory, which helps me to understand what I am doing and what is going on around me.

BDSM is full of frills and window-dressing. Getting to the core of it---understanding which are the basic "components"---means looking around at what people do, looking at their feelings and extracting the common elements.

Welcome to Sex Societies Istanbul

East meets West in Istanbul. You'll find hookers from Europe and Arabia willing to have a good time.

Turkey attracts huge numbers of female European sex tourists. The number one destination is Antalya which has its own international airport.

The Taksim Square area in Istanbul, where many hotels are, has a lot of bars and a vibrant street scene with hookers, gays and transgenders.

Prostitution and brothels are legal here.

Sex toys are sold openly in shops and in the Muslim world's first online Halal adult toy shop.

If you are consumed with nostalgia for the days of rowdy ports, Istanbul's sex street for sailors is still working with women standing in windows.

Warning! Robbery at knife point happens in the streets here. Pickpockets are hard at work too.

LINK TO FULL RESOURCE CLICK HERE

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) rights in Turkey

Why does the LGBT community face discrimination in Turkish society?

How can we decrease discrimination and harassment towards LGBT people in Turkey?

That being said, even though LGBT people are becoming stronger and more visible in Turkey, they are still facing violence, attacks, abuse and discrimination on a daily basis. Honor crimes against LGBT are believed to be a way of keeping the ‘honor’ of the family intact. Kaos GL, a Turkish LGBT rights organization, tracked 16 “hate crime” murders of gay men and transsexual people in Turkey in 2010 alone.

(www.lgbtinewsturkey.com/2013/09/11/2012-report-of-human-rights-violations-based-on-sexual-orientation-and-gender-identity/)

Homofin, is a herbal treatment, which claims to influence hormones. The manufacturer states: ‘It is now up to you to be or not to be a homosexual”. Homofin’s site even encourages mothers, who suspect their sons are gay, to buy these capsules and secretly dissolve the drug in their food. The government has yet to take any legal action to get this unethical, unscientific drug off the market.

(http://www.mambaonline.com/2014/01/03/gay-cure-pills-condemned/)

In addition, police officers regularly arrest LGBT people on the accusation of prostitution. Sexual orientation or gender identity is often used as a basis for criminal penalties, in particular executions, arrests or detention. Critics say these actions are a way of putting pressure on the LGBT community. Most LGBT people that have experienced such incidents do not report this misconduct; they know that those responsible will never be punished.

To this day, there are many obstacles LGBT activists face on social networking sites and the internet in general. One example is that websites of LGBT associations are regularly hacked by religious groups.

While the government plays dumb, the fundamental rights of LGBT people are being violated, especially their right to private life. Homosexuals are increasingly targeted, also in hate speeches made by government officials. In 2010, Selma Aliye Kavaf, the Minister for Women and Family, classified homosexuality as a biological disorder and a disease which needed to be cured. Further, in response to the question ‘when Turkey is going to have openly gay ministers’ the mayor of Ankara, Ibrahim Melih Gokcek stated ‘ if god willing (insallah) in our country there are no gay and will never be’ when he was asked ‘when Turkey is going to have openly gay ministers’. Even more so, the fact that Prime minister Erdogan has never mentioned homosexuality or LGBT people during his service is a clear sign that the government should be blamed for the violence and harassment against LGBT people; by being passive, the government clearly shows their toleration of homophobic and transphobic attitudes.

Moving forward, The Universal Declaration which was adopted by the UN General Assembly on December 10th 1948 passed with a vote of 48 in favor (Turkey being one of them), zero against and eight abstentions. Article 1 of the Universal Declaration states that ‘all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood’. However, the rights of LGBT people are ignored and not mentioned in the Turkish constitution’s prohibition of discrimination or the social and civil rights. (http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/)

Meanwhile, LGBT groups are pushing their agenda forward in order to include protection against gender/sexual orientation discrimination in the Turkish Constitution and have some support from outside the LGBT community. The LGBT activists campaign for equality before law.

On the 30th of June 2013, the gay pride parade attracted almost 100.000 people. This was seen as a positive development by LGBT activists. (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/01/world/europe/protests-squelched-gay-rights-march-brings-many-in-turkey-back-to-the-streets.html?_r=2& )

On the other hand, Gezi resistance which started on 27th May 2013, was an anti-government struggle against injustice and cruel and inhuman intervention of the Turkish police. The protesters demanded freedom of the press and freedom of expression, the removal of all barriers between the citizens and their right to education and health service, as well as protesting against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.. During the Gezi struggle, LGBT people got a chance to show that they are normal and harmless human beings, and do not warrant that people are afraid of them. Gezi remains an event that has sent a clear message to everyone : ‘the struggle of the people in Gezi Park was a battle for democracy and rights for all’.(http://roarmag.org/2014/01/gezi-ottoman-turkish-nationalism/)

A momentous decision was taken when People’s Democratic Party (HDP) freshly nominated five LGBT activists. Furthermore, the Republican People’s Party member and also LGBT activist Öykü Evren Sözen has announced her candidacy once again from Bursa Osmangazi district city. Another big step was made when Can Cavusoglu, an openly gay independent candidate, publicly announced that he is running to become a mayor in Giresun’s district of Bulancak in the March 2014 local election. He declares himself gay, activist, writer, thinker, painter humanist and women’s rights activist. (http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/hdp-pledges-diversity-with-its-party-assembly.aspx?pageID=238&nid=57005)

Being Gay, bisexual or transsexual is seen as an “illness” by religious groups. Hate crime is a daily reality throughout Turkey. Islam being the dominant religion in Turkey is one of the reasons why there are anti-gay actions. Religious clerics state that homosexuality is a test. If you are not able to stand the temptation, you will go to hell. If you resist, you will be pardoned and go to heaven.  In Turkey, there are many religious people who believe that Islam’s position regarding LGBT people would be to apply the death penalty (http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/321419/pinoyabroad/worldfeatures/gay-muslims-in-turkey-torn-between-religion-and-sexuality)

To conclude, the government in Turkey has to introduce a new constitution containing greater human rights protection.  An anti-discrimination law to protect LGBT is a necessity. In this way, the discrimination in society will not only decrease but will also reduce the long-established judicial practice of giving penalty reductions based on unjust provocation in hate-motivated killing of LGBT people. 

Currently, the perpetrators continue to be rewarded by the judiciary. LGBT people will continue to be targets if the LGBT are not seen to be equal before the law. The demands of LGBT people for equality and protection under the law, full justice and freedom for LGBT people should be accomplished. This year was utterly a difficult one, marked by several hardships the LGBT had to endure, such as killing attempts, ill treatment, rape and cyber attacks. Thus, I reckon a proper end of my article would be a very inspiring line from Nazim Hikmet’s invitation poem: 

“To live like a tree single and at liberty and brotherly like the trees of a forest.

Bibliography

1. http://lgbtinewsturkey.com/2013/09/11/2012-report-of-human-rights-violations-based-on-sexual-orientation-and-gender-identity/

2. http://english.alarabiya.net/en/life-style/art-and-culture/2013/08/07/Homosexuals-in-Turkey-want-to-break-taboos-.html

3. http://www.amnesty.org/en/appeals-for-action/end-discrimination-against-lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender-people

4. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/01/world/europe/protests-squelched-gay-rights-march-brings-many-in-turkey-back-to-the-streets.html?_r=0

5. http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/europe/turkey/111011/honor-killings-target-turkeys-lgbts

6. http://www.mambaonline.com/2014/01/03/gay-cure-pills-condemned/

7. http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/321419/pinoyabroad/worldfeatures/gay-muslims-in-turkey-torn-between-religion-and-sexuality

8. http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/

9. http://contemporaryworldliterature.com/blog/poetry/davet-2/

10. http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/europe/turkey/130914/can-cavusoglu-wants-be-turkeys-first-openly-gay-mayor

10 Shades of Stupid: Cosmo’s Worst BDSM Tips

I knew this was coming when the cashier in Barnes and Nobles saw me looking at Fifty Shades of Grey and stage-whispered: "I bought that for my mom, and now I'm just terrified that I'm going to go home and find my dad. In a cage. Bleeding or dead." BDSM is like soccer and socialized medicine; fascinating, but hard for a lot of Americans to understand. Cosmo's trying to help with their August issue, which features a twist on their usual bouquet of sex tips: this time, all their tips are inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey.