The BDSM Collar

Police break into homes and arrest 20 trans women in Istanbul

Police break into homes and arrest 20 trans women in Istanbul

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing*

Posted on April 22, 2013 by jemima101

The blogverse and twittersphere tend to get very excited about something called “call out culture” which those of us of a certain age might call telling someone they are being a dick, or if the someone was well-intentioned explaining why certain things are not a good idea.

It’s that simple really, either people are allowed to go round hurting others with their language or attitudes or those who feel strong enough challenge them. At this point I get to quote the most famous call out culture piece of writing, which predates the interweb, but every decent politics blog should at some point use. That is all this call out culture is, I am not black, but if I see someone being racist, I care, I am not gay, but if I see someone being homophobic I care. Not because I am some angel or politically correct superhero but because a world without homophobia or racism or transphobia or any other short-sighted festering form of bigotry will be a better place. Who wouldn't want to live in that world? Seriously I am struggling here to understand the problem?

There are two objections I hear most commonly on twitter  about calling out, one is easily dealt with because I agree. The dreaded pile on. Mobs are not nice, they rarely take the time to think about things, and minds are changed 0.0000000000001% of the time. I have in the past been part of them, not meaning too, simply seeing something that was wrong, or harmful (Like Moores transphobia) and responded, without thinking hang on, lots of people have already said this, do I need to say it too? Of course it’s normal to be angry about stuff and want to express that, but avoiding the mob is also a thing we need to all do more often. If someone won’t listen to a few people reasonably pointing something out then oddly enough one hundred people baying for blood are not going to be more effective.

Which brings us to the other far more problematic objection to call out culture. The unity idea, otherwise known as “there are more important things than X”

Shall we look at the wonderful words of Pastor Niemoller again, just for those who don’t do links?

There will always be things that matter more to me than they do to you, and things you care about that barely touch me. That’s normal and inevitable. However once anyone starts deciding that unity matters more than speaking out, that there is a greater good then they become that person not speaking out about the trades unionist, because they were not a trade unionist.

The biggest example of this I know has been in the very bitter wars about radfem13 (now cancelled) and the transphobia of many of the main speakers. People have tried to say that being against the whole conference or being pleased it was cancelled was wrong, because not everyone attending was transphobic. Of course they were not, but they were staying silent, it was other people being made to wear the yellow star, and because it was not them, they decided that it was OK.

This is not just theory, or online for me. I am as regular readers know a Christian. The Equal Marriage bill has caused many storms in many churches, one of the biggest was when Steve Chalke stood up and said stop, I will have no part of this prejudice. Not in my name. You need to know more of the evangelical and charismatic churches to perhaps really understand what this meant. Perhaps the equivalent would have been Julie Bindel turning up at SWOU and giving us all  an apology, then writing a series of Guardian articles about how decriminalization is the answer.

It was that big a statement, earth shattering for many people, Chalke understood that if he remained silent, then he was allowing those opposed to equal marriage to assume he agreed. He, and others such as Symon Hill, also knew the outside world assumed all Christians were homophobic. Only by speaking up could this idea be challenged. Only then could some of the harm done by homophobia be addressed. Even in my own small way I made clear my feelings, along with other Christians I openly prayed for the Bill, spoke up in meetings, refused to let the voices of the most reactionary represent me.

That’s all calling out is, old fashioned phrases like standing up and being counted, or the title of this piece. That’s all that needed to happen for radfem13 to go ahead as well. For people not to think this doesn’t affect me because I am not trans* or black or gay or a socialist or a Jew, but instead to realise that every time a bigot gets a platform a piece of humanity is hurt. Calling out is actually a sign of love, love for all humanity, not just the rich and powerful part of it. If sometimes things go wrong that should always be remembered. If you choose to stay silent because you think unity matters more,, then you need to consider why a theory matters more than loving your fellow human beings. If I didn’t believe people could be better, I would not call them out. If I did not believe that when one of my sisters or brothers are hurt, I am hurt too, I would sit back and let the battle rage.

* I know Burke didn’t say it, still a wonderful quote

Here is My personal take on this:

First they came for the communists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the socialists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for those on welfare,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't on welfare.

Then they came for the public sector workers,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a public sector worker.

Then they came for the pensioners,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a pensioner.

Then they came for the asylum seekers,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't an asylum seeker.

Then they came for the foreign passport holders,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a foreign passport holder.

Then they came for those not British born,

and I didn't speak out because I was British.

Then they came for me,

and there was no one left to speak for me.

And the Top 7 Subs

 Following on from "Top 7 male Doms"

POOR-ME SUB:

This "sub" always has something going wrong in their life. Of course, it is never their fault.. they are always being played upon and victimized by others. If only they found the *perfect* dom, their life would be problem-free and forever-blissful.

Favourite IM to send: "Will you be my dom? I am just a helpless little subbie."

Favourite IM to receive: "Just do what I say, slave!"

JUST-DO-ME SUB:

This "sub" just wants to be beaten. It doesn't really matter by who, or what..as long as he (I use "he" here because these are typically male) can feel the lash. Frequently misbehaving on purpose, this sub can drive a Dom *crazy*.

Favourite IM to send: "I have been naughty and need to be punished. Spank me now, Mistress!"

Favourite IM to receive: "You are a bad sub and need to be punished! Bend over!"

BARBIE-SUB:

This "sub" just likes the way she looks in leather fashions.  They are afraid of the whip, and have never seen a clamp in their life. Their favourite  store is "Dream Dresser", and their whole pay check is spent there each week.

Favourite IM to send: "Would you like to know what I am wearing, sir?"

Favourite IM to receive: "What are you wearing?"

HE-HURT-ME SUB:

This "sub", without any negotiations, talk of limits or safe words, rushes out to a country cabin to play with a dom they have met 2 days ago online. After letting the Dom tie them up and whip them, they decide the Dom is a menace to society, and can't wait to tell all their "sub" friends s/he is a "BAD dom".

Favourite IM to send: "Subbies, I need to pass on a warning to you!"

Favourite IM to receive: "My poor subbies, you have got to warn everyone about this creep!"

I-JUST-NEED-A-MAN SUB:

This "sub", after exhausting all their singles bar and health club meeting places, decides that the D/s world would be a good place to meet a *man*. she really has no interest in D/s, she just needs someone to spend the rest of their life with. They a close relative of POOR-ME SUB. Amazingly, when she "gets their dom", she suddenly looses interest in any type of sex.

Favourite IM to send: "Sir, will you take care of me forever?"

Favourite IM to receive: "I have always dreamed of having a large family."

NO-ONE-CAN-TOP-ME SUB:

This "sub" longs to submit, yet claims no Dom is strong enough to top them. Some say they are really just a TOP in disguise.

Favourite IM to send: "Think you are strong enough to put me in my place, jerk?"

Favourite IM to receive: "No, Mistress, I am really just a weak and helpless slave. ::falling to the floor and kissing your boots:

SUBMISSION IS THE GREATEST GIFT Submissive:

This submissive has stars in their eyes and naivety in their heart. They swoon at the mere thought of a dom, any dom, asking them to pass the salt. S/he writes their dom's name in the corner of their notebook with little hearts and flowers around it. S/he declares that there is no better way to love than through submission, and that d/s is a "better" and "higher" manner of loving than anything a silly old vanilla person might do. S/he lives on an emotional roller-coaster, sentimental enough to cry when seeing a long-distance phone company commercial.

Favourite IM to send: "You are all of life to me, there is nothing about life worthwhile without you."

Favourite IM to receive: "I am everything you'll ever want or need, and I'll protect you from everything."

THE MEDICAL REALITIES OF BREATH CONTROL PLAY

by Jay Wiseman

Author of "SM 101: A Realistic Introduction"

For some time now, I have felt that the practices of suffocation and/or strangulation done in an erotic context (generically known as breath control play; more properly known as asphyxiophilia) were in fact far more dangerous than they are generally perceived to be. As a person with years of medical education and experience, I know of no way whatsoever that either suffocation or strangulation can be done in a way that does not intrinsically put the recipient at risk of cardiac arrest. (There are also numerous additional risks; more on them later.) Furthermore, and my biggest concern, I know of no reliable way to determine when such a cardiac arrest has become imminent.

Often the first detectable sign that an arrest is approaching is the arrest itself. Furthermore, if the recipient does arrest, the probability of resuscitating them, even with optimal CPR, is distinctly small. Thus the recipient is dead and their partner, if any, is in a very perilous legal situation. (The authorities could consider such deaths first-degree murders until proven otherwise, with the burden of such proof being on the defendant). There are also the real and major concerns of the surviving partner's own life-long remorse to having caused such a death, and the trauma to the friends and family members of both parties.

Some breath control fans say that what they do is acceptably safe because they do not take what they do up to the point of unconsciousness. I find this statement worrisome for two reasons: (1) You can't really know when a person is about to go unconscious until they actually do so, thus it's extremely difficult to know where the actual point of unconsciousness is until you actually reach it. (2) More importantly, unconsciousness is a symptom, not a condition in and of itself. It has numerous underlying causes ranging from simple fainting to cardiac arrest, and which of these will cause the unconsciousness cannot be known in advance.

I have discussed my concerns regarding breath control with well over a dozen SM-positive physicians, and with numerous other SM-positive health professionals, and all share my concerns. We have discussed how breath control might be done in a way that is not life-threatening, and come up blank. We have discussed how the risk might be significantly reduced, and come up blank. We have discussed how it might be determined that an arrest is imminent, and come up blank.

Indeed, so far not one (repeat, not one) single physician, nurse, paramedic, chiropractor, physiologist, or other person with substantial training in how a human body works has been willing to step forth and teach a form of breath control play that they are willing to assert is acceptably safe -- i.e., does not put the recipient at imminent, unpredictable risk of dying. I believe this fact makes a major statement.

Other "edge play" topics such as suspension bondage, electricity play, cutting, piercing, branding, enemas, water sports, and scat play can and have been taught with reasonable safety, but not breath control play. Indeed, it seems that the more somebody knows about how a human body works, the more likely they are to caution people about how dangerous breath control is, and about how little can be done to reduce the degree of risk.

In many ways, oxygen is to the human body, and particularly to the heart and brain, what oil is to a car's engine. Indeed, there's a medical adage that goes "hypoxia (becoming dangerously low on oxygen) not only stops the motor, but also wrecks the engine." Therefore, asking how one can play safely with breath control is very similar to asking how one can drive a car safely while draining it of oil.

Some people tell the "mechanics" something like, "Well, I'm going to drain my car of oil anyway, and I'm not going to keep track of how low the oil level is getting while I'm driving my car, so tell me how to do this with as much safety as possible." (They may even add someting like "Hey, I always shut the engine off before it catches fire.") They then get frustrated when the mechanics scratch their heads and say that they don't know. They may even label such mechanics as "anti-education."

A bit about my background may help explain my concerns. I was an ambulance crewman for over eight years. I attended medical school for three years, and passed my four-year boards, (then ran out of money). I am a former member of the American Academy of Family Physicians and a former American Heart Association instructor in Advanced Cardiac Life Support. I have an extensive martial arts background that includes a first-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. My martial arts training included several months of judo that involved both my choking and being choked.

I have been an instructor in first aid, CPR, and various advanced emergency care techniques for over sixteen years. My students have included physicians, nurses, paramedics, police officers, fire fighters, wilderness emergency personnel, martial artists, and large numbers of ordinary citizens. I currently offer both basic and advanced first aid and CPR training to the SM community.

During my ambulance days, I responded to at least one call involving the death of a young teenage boy who died from autoerotic strangulation, and to several other calls where this was suspected but could not be confirmed. (Family members often "sanitize" such scenes before calling 911.) Additionally, I personally know two members of my local SM community who went to prison after their partners died during breath control play.

The primary danger of suffocation play is that it is not a condition that gets worse over time (regarding the heart, anyway, it does get worse over time regarding the brain). Rather, what happens is that the more the play is prolonged, the greater the odds that a cardiac arrest will occur. Sometimes even one minute of suffocation can cause this; sometimes even less.

Quick pathophysiology lesson # 1: When the heart gets low on oxygen, it starts to fire off "extra" pacemaker sites. These usually appear in the ventricles and are thus called premature ventricular contractions -- PVC's for short. If a PVC happens to fire off during the electrical repolarization phase of cardiac contraction (the dreaded "PVC on T" phenomenon, also sometimes called "R on T") it can kick the heart over into ventricular fibrillation -- a form of cardiac arrest. The lower the heart gets on oxygen, the more PVC's it generates, and the more vulnerable to their effect it becomes, thus hypoxia increases both the probability of a PVC-on-T occurring and of its causing a cardiac arrest.

When this will happen to a particular person in a particular session is simply not predictable. This is exactly where most of the medical people I have discussed this topic with "hit the wall." Virtually all medical folks know that PVC's are both life-threating and hard to detect unless the patient is hooked to a cardiac monitor. When medical folks discuss breath control play, the question quickly becomes: How can know when they start throwing PVC's? The answer is: You basically can't.

Quick pathophysiology lesson # 2: When breathing is restricted, the body cannot eliminate carbon dioxide as it should, and the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood increases. Carbon dioxide (CO2) and water (H2O) exist in equilibrium with what's called carbonic acid (H2CO3) in a reaction catalyzed by an enzyme called carbonic anhydrase. (Sorry, but I can't do subscripts in this program.)

Thus: CO2 + H20 <carbonic anhydrase> H2CO3

A molecule of carbonic acid dissociates on its own into a molecule of what's called bicarbonate (HCO3-) and an (acidic) hydrogen ion. (H+)

Thus: H2CO3 <> HCO3- and H+

Thus the overall pattern is:

H2O + CO2 <> H2CO3 <> HCO3- + H+

Therefore, if breathing is restricted, CO2 builds up and the reaction shifts to the right in an attempt to balance things out, ultimately making the blood more acidic and thus decreasing its pH. This is called respiratory acidosis. (If the patient hyperventilates, they "blow off CO2" and the reaction shifts to the left, thus increasing the pH. This is called respiratory alkalosis, and has its own dangers.)

Quick pathophysiology lesson # 3:

Again, if breathing is restricted, not only does carbon dioxide have a hard time getting out, but oxygen also has a hard time getting in. A molecule of glucose (C6H12O6) breaks down within the cell by a process called glycolysis into two molecules of pyruvate, thus creating a small amount of ATP for the body to use as energy. Under normal circumstances, pyruvate quickly combines with oxygen to produce a much larger amount of ATP. However, if there's not enough oxygen to properly metabolize the pyruvate, it is converted to lactic acid and produces one form of what's called a metabolic acidosis.

As you can see, either a build-up in the blood of carbon dioxide or a decrease in the blood of oxygen will cause the pH of the blood to fall. If both occur at the same time, as they do in cases of suffocation, the pH of the blood will plummet to life-threatening levels within a very few minutes. The pH of normal human blood is in the 7.35 to 7.45 range (slightly alkaline). A pH falling to 6.9 (or raising to 7.8) is "incompatible with life."

Past experience, either with others or with that same person, is not particularly useful. Carefully watching their level of consciousness, skin color, and pulse rate is of only limited value. Even hooking the bottom up to both a pulse oximeter and a cardiac monitor (assuming you had either piece of equipment, and they're not cheap) would be of only limited additional value.

While an experienced clinician can sometimes detect PVC's by feeling the patient's pulse, in reality the only reliable way to detect them is to hook the patient up to a cardiac monitor. The problem is that each PVC is potentially lethal, particularly if the heart is low on oxygen. Even if you "ease up" on the bottom immediately, there's no telling when the PVC's will stop. They could stop almost at once, or they could continue for hours.

In addition to the primary danger of cardiac arrest, there is good evidence to document that there is a very real risk of cumulative brain damage if the practice is repeated often enough. In particular, laboratory studies of repeated brief interruption of blood flow to the brains of animals and studies of people with what's called "sleep apnea syndrome" (in which they stop breathing for up to two minutes while sleeping) document that cumulative brain damage does occur in such cases.

There are many documented additional dangers. These include, but are not limited to: rupture of the windpipe, fracture of the larynx, damage to the blood vessels in the neck, dislodging a fatty plaque in a neck artery which then travels to the brain and causes a stroke, damage to the cervical spine, seizures, airway obstruction by the tongue, and aspiration of vomitus. Additionally, there are documented cases in which the recipient appeared to fully recover but was found dead several hours later.

The American Psychiatric Association estimates a death rate of one person per year per million of population -- thus about 250 deaths last year in the U.S. Law enforcement estimates go as much as four times higher. Most such deaths occur during solo play, however there are many documented cases of deaths that occurred during play with a partner. It should be noted that the presence of a partner does nothing to limit the primary danger, and does little or nothing to limit most of the secondary dangers.

Some people teach that choking can be safely done if pressure on the windpipe is avoided. Their belief is that pressing on the arteries leading to the brain while avoiding pressure on the windpipe can safely cause unconsciousness. The reality, unfortunately, is that pressing on the carotid arteries, exactly as they recommend, presses on baroreceptors known as the carotid sinus bodies. These bodies then cause vasodilation in the brain, thus there is not enough blood to perfuse the brain and the recipient loses consciousness. However, that's not the whole story.

Unfortunately, a message is also sent to the main pacemaker of the heart, via the vagus nerve, to decrease the rate and force of the heartbeat. Most of the time, under strong vagal influence, the rate and force of the heartbeat decreases by one third. However, every now and then, the rate and force decreases to zero and the bottom "flatlines" into asystole -- another, and more difficult to treat, form of cardiac arrest. There is no way to tell whether or not this will happen in any particular instance, or how quickly. There are many documented cases of as little as five seconds of choking causing a vagal-outlfow-induced cardiac arrest.

For the reason cited above, many police departments have now either entirely banned the use of choke holds or have reclassified them as a form of deadly force. Indeed, a local CHP officer recently had a $250,000 judgment brought against him after a nonviolent suspect died while being choked by him.

Finally, as a CPR instructor myself, I want to caution that knowing CPR does little to make the risk of death from breath control play significantly smaller. While CPR can and should be done, understand that the probability of success is likely to be less than 10%.

I'm not going to state that breath control is something that nobody should ever do under any circumstances. I have no problem with informed, freely consenting people taking any degree of risk they wish. I am going to state that there is a great deal of ignorance regarding what actually happens to a body when it's suffocated or strangled, and that the actual degree of risk associated with these practices is far greater than most people believe.

I have noticed that, when people are educated regarding the severity and unpredictability of the risks, fewer and fewer choose to play in this area, and those who do continue tend to play less often. I also notice that, because of its severe and unpredictable risks, more and more SM party-givers are banning any form of breath control play at their events.

If you'd like to look into this matter further, here are some references to get you started:

"Emergency Care in the Streets" by Caroline (I'd recommend starting here.) "Medical Physiology" by Guyton

"The Pathologic Basis of Disease" by Robbins "Textbook of Advanced Cardiac Life Support" by American Heart Association "The Physiology Coloring Book" by Kapit, Macey, and Meisami "Forensic Pathology" by DeMaio and Demaio "Autoerotic Fatalities" by Hazelwood

"Melloni's Illustrated Medical Dictionary" by Dox, Melloni, and Eisner

People with questions or comments can contact me at jaybob@crl.com or write to me at P.O. Box 1261, Berkeley, CA 94701.

Regards,

Jay Wiseman

EXAMPLES OF HUMILIATION TRAINING

HUMILIATION within BDSM

In BDSM, humiliation is one psychological technique a top may use on a bottom. It is generally considered edge play because it touches strong emotional buttons.

The word humiliation comes from a Latin root meaning earth. To "humiliate" someone is to bring him or her down low to the ground.

Humiliation is a highly subjective issue, and depends greatly on context. Although there are many examples of humiliation as a technique, success in training all depends upon the slave and what they find personally to be most degrading. While in a dominant-submissive scene or relationship, the submissive takes a subordinate role and may be called "slave", "boy ", "dog" or something similar. The submissive may also make displays of subservience, such as lighting cigarettes, walking a pace behind the dominant, only speaking when spoken to, etc.

Humiliation play can involve physical and/or verbal methods. Some seek to be demeaned by acting a role, while others enjoy to be 'tongue lashed' and to be constantly told of their low status, and even be made to repeat this back to the humiliator. One example may be as simple as having a slave call their Master "Sir" or "Master." For some, this in and of itself is utterly humiliating, while other slaves may find that is not humiliating whatsoever. On the flip side, having a slave wear a collar and perform submissive acts in public or within the confines of a scene with other people may seem humiliating to some, but normal and natural to others.

However, a dominant may take care over insulting the submissive. Terms like "fat", "ugly", "stupid" or "worthless" could be considered abuse if this is not part of the understanding the top and bottom have negotiated for their role play scene.

Depending on the roles and persons involved, terms like " slut", "tart", "bitch" and "whore" may or may not be considered humiliation. For some people, such names are a way of achieving ego reduction, entering bottom space, or getting over sexual inhibitions.

A classic technique to put a submissive into bottom space is to combine humiliation with pleasurable physical sensation, including sexual stimulation. Someone who is already inclined to be subby can often be put into a very submissive mental state by simultaneously turning that person on physically while humiliating them.

Sexual role-playing may or may not involve humiliation. For example, one bottom who plays the part of a dog may enjoy being mock-forced into it and the top will emphasize the lowness of the bottom's status as an animal. Another dog-player would rather play the role of the dog without any element of humiliation.

One such form of sexual role-playing is objectification, where the bottom is cast in the role of an object.

It is also widely accepted that there are individuals who seek humiliation as a form of emotional release, thus, doing things like eating out of a dog dish, being forced to always kneel, displaying oneself or being forced to cross dress, are just methods a Master can use to bring their slave that much wanted emotional release.

COURTESY OF: INFORMED CONSENT

House Plants of Gor

I found this little story on Evil Monk  -  I found it amusingly true to some BDSM submissives.

by Ellerol Elvish

The spider plant cringed as its owner brought forth the watering can. "I am a spider plant!" it cried indignantly. "How dare you water me before my time! Guards!" it called. "Guards!"

Borin, its owner, placed the watering can on the table and looked at it. "You will be watered," he said.

"You do not dare to water me!" laughed the plant.

"You will be watered," said Borin.

"Do not water me!" wept the plant.

"You will be watered," said Borin.

I watched this exchange. Truly, I believed the plant would be watered. It was plant, and on Gor it had no rights. Perhaps on Earth, in its permissive society, which distorts the true roles of all beings, which forces both plant and waterer to go unhappy and constrained, which forbids the fulfilment of owner and houseplant, such might not happen. Perhaps there, it would not be watered. But it was on Gor now, and would undoubtedly feel it's true place, that of houseplant. It was plant. It would be watered at will. Such is the way with plants.

Borin picked up the watering can, and mushily watered the plant. The plant cried out. "No, Master! Do not water me!" The master continued to water the plant. "Please, Master," begged the plant, "do not water me!" The master continued to water the plant. It was plant. It could be watered at will.

The plant sobbed muchly as Borin laid down the watering can. It was not pleased. Too, it was wet. But this did not matter. It was plant.

"You have been well watered," said Borin.

"Yes," said the plant, "I have been well watered." Of course, it could be watered by its master at will.

"I have watered you well," said Borin.

"Yes, master," said the plant. "You have watered your plant well. I am plant, and as such I should be watered by my master."

The cactus plant next to the spider plant shuddered. It attempted to cover its small form with its small arms and small needles. "I am plant," it said wonderingly. "I am of Earth, but for the first time, I feel myself truly plant like. On Earth, I was able to control my watering. I often scorned those who would water me. But they were weak, and did not see my scorn for what it was, the weak attempt of a small plant to protect itself. Not one of the weak Earth waterers would dare to water a plant if it did not wish it. But on Gor," it shuddered, "on Gor it is different. Here, those who wish to water will water their plants as they wish. But strangely, I feel myself most plant like when I am at the mercy of a strong Gorean master, who may water me as he pleases."

"I will now water you," said Borin, the cactus's Gorean master.

The cactus did not resist being watered. Perhaps it was realizing that such watering was its master's to control. Too, perhaps it knew that this master was far superior to those of Earth, who would not water it if it did not wish to be watered.

The cactus's watering had been finished. The spider plant looked at it.

"I have been well watered," it said.

"I, too, have been well watered," said the cactus.

"My master has watered me well," said the spider plant.

"My master, too, has watered me well," said the cactus.

"I am to be placed in a hanging basket on the porch," said the spider plant.

"I, too, am to be placed in a hanging basket on the porch," said the cactus.

"I wish you well," said the spider plant.

"I, too, wish you well," said the cactus.

"Tal," said the spider plant.

"Tal, too," said the cactus.

I did not think that the spider plant would object to being watered by its master again. For it realized that it was plant, and that here, unlike on Earth, it was likely to be owned and watered by many masters.

Pet Shaming..BDSM style

Naming and Shaming your Pets. Amusing....

ASH - My True Submissive

 This is dedicated to ASH - My Submissive

To be a submissive is different for everyone. We each have different ideas of what a submissive is, should and might be. 

I meet many different types of submissive in my line of work. Some I will remember for eternity, others not. Some I have enjoyed being Mistress to, others I have not.

I can outline four types of submissive I have come into contact with - all in their own ways unique and interesting.

The Role Play Submissive is just that - They want to play at being a submissive either face to face with a Mistress or online. For a few hours they will "play" the part of a submissive calling Me Mistress in order to fulfil a fantasy they have.

The Sexual Submissive have a kink or fetish they wish to explore. They want and need to be restrained, blindfolded, spanked, flogged, beaten or whatever their fetish is. And once the fetish and sex act is over, they go away happy until the next time.

Then there is the Online Submissive. I first discovered just how many online submissives there were when I joined Twitter. Within this group there are submissives who do genuinely devote their time to one Mistress, there are those who are 'Fans' or active followers of a Mistress. But there are also those who are submissive while in the chat room, write out elaborate serves for the One they serve, vow eternal love and submission to the One but then when they go to another room or another name they're saying the same things to Another. Sometimes, they even have a camera to prove how submissive they are - photos to prove it.

To me, a True Submissive is not easy to find. When you do, it's hard to let them go. These are the submissives I am fond of and eagerly await our meetings. To me, a true submissive serves from his heart, and they don't need a Mistress driving them to do something, they do it willingly, gladly, eagerly.

They have insight and truly care. They see their Mistress's glass as half empty and they fill it, they take care of their Mistress's needs. I have found that True submissives  don't need words of praise showered upon them, it is enough that their Mistress is pleased and comfortable - knowing their Mistress is content  is praise enough. The sparkle in their Mistress's eyes or a touch by the hand of their Mistress is high praise.

Recently, I found one such potential submissive. He had all the qualities to become a perfect true submissive. I call him Ash. He takes what I teach seriously and into his heart. he practices tasks I may have asked of him and endeavours to perfect them. He remembers the rules, the postures and instructions.

He has always chosen to bring me a gift - not because I asked him, but because he wanted to - it is what true submissives do. They think of their Mistress, even at an airport lounge and purchase a little something to see the sparkle in their Mistress's eye. It pleases Me when I know I have a session with Ash, I know it will be, for me, both a spiritual and mental pleasure to have him in the dungeon. In our last session, he informed me that he would probably have to leave at the end of May to return to India as his work would come to an end. This saddened me. For a blinding few seconds, My mind sparked for inspiration as to how I could keep him in the UK - for My own selfish reasons.

A true submissive is difficult to find. I am hoping Ash will find more work in the UK as he serves from his heart. He will do something, willingly, gladly and fervently.

I will purchase him a gift this week - A colour coordinated bra and panty set. I know he will wear them well, even when not asked to.