28 Apr 2016
Transgression, Transcendence, and The Edge within #BDSM
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There are people using #BDSM as a way to abuse.
"Within this lifestyle there are unfortunately many dangers,
there are people out there using the BDSM lifestyle as a way to abuse or use
individuals under an umbrella of acceptance. Within each situation there are
warning signs that we see, unfortunately sometimes we do not see these warning
signs until it is too late. There are many people that say they are a Dominant
are not, instead they are users, abusers, predators, wannabees, bullies, and
manipulators. This article is designed to help people understand what a warning
sign or red flag is, and hopefully prevent someone from getting hurt.
Some people think that just because they have read all the
books and watched all the movies that they are instant Dominants; Instant
Dominant…Just Add Water, and Shake Well. Just because he or she has a few
floggers doesn't mean they know how to use them or that they are a Dominant of
any form. Just because someone orders you around or attempts to control your
life doesn't mean they are a Dominant. Being a Dominant is a menagerie of
infinite strengths and weaknesses combined together with all the normal human
mediocrities. It takes a lifetime of learning and growing to be a Dominant, and
those that believe otherwise may not have a true grasp of the concept. Even as
one is able to claim the title of Dominant, Master, Mistress, Lord, or Lady,
God or Goddess, one is still learning, the learning is a never ending road that
allows us to travel into the exciting and new dimensions of this adventure
called BDSM.
As a Dominant myself I have come to understand that every
Dominant does things in a different manner, and that just because what they do
is different from what I do, it doesn't make what they do wrong, it just makes
it different. However there is a difference between just being different and
being dangerous.
If someone submits to you because they fear you, then you are a bully not a Dominant.
If someone submits to you because you give him or her expensive presents then you are a pimp not a Dominant.
If someone submits to you because you threaten to leave or abandon him or her if they refuse then you are a manipulator, not a Dominant.
If someone submits to you because you wont leave him or her alone if they don\'t then you are a predator not a Dominant.
If someone submits to you because you will beat him or her if they don\'t then you are an abuser not a Dominant.
There are far too many individuals out there in today\'s
society that manipulate, abuse, use, and lie to others in an effort to gain
their service and respect."
Courtesy of: The Iron Gate
27 Apr 2016
The Spiritual Dimension Of S/M
"A knight should be bold,
fair, courteous and well-mannered, generous and loyal, not foolish or rash, and
should speak fairly without discourtesy. A knight should be all this, and also
proud and fierce to his enemies, and kind to his friends." -Durmart
The Spiritual Dimension Of S/M
COURTESY OF: ChrisM of SubBondage.net
Let's begin our discussion of
SM spirituality on something of a tangent: the people you have surely met at
community functions who claim to have been "trained" in some sort of
"ancient order." Some say they are "old guard" which
actually means something. Others claim to be "the old school" or in
"Classic style" which means nothing, or, more accurately, means
whatever you want it to mean. Some describe Roissy-like training academies in
Europe, Japan, or other exotic locales, and often stress secrecy and exclusivity
in their lengthy, impromptu descriptions.
So far as I know, none of these
ancient domination training academies really exist. No historical literature,
no websites, no consistency in the stories told by "graduates" are
ever provided. No pictorials in "Shiny" or "Skin Two" whose
lifeblood is publicizing all things fetish. None of my gay brothers, who have a
longer continuous heritage than us hets, has evidence of ancient SM academies
(though some do find it a hot fantasy). Its true that in recent years, SM
training academies like Butchmans in Las Vegas, have opened their doors to
students. And For the past ten years, GMSMA has been teaching a fifteen session
tops school for its members. The training of couples have long been part of the
dominitrix's trade. And there have always been, clusters and communities where
sex and sado-erotic activities were shared. Pompeii has frescoes testifying to
this. Even our venerable Ben Franklin was a member of London's infamous
hellfire club, an exclusive SM brothel, catering to the well heeled and exotic
of taste. But if Knightly Orders of SM do exist, they do a good job of
pretending they do not. Still I meet two or three people a year who give
varying claims of having been through them. These purported students often speak
in a hodgepodge of martial arts lingo, Gor Novels, and Jedi-knighthood which
itself was a 1970's hodgepodge of Tolkein, King Arthur, and John Wayne
Westerns. This sense of pomp carries over into the moody elevator music like
"Enigma" so ubiquitous at SM functions, and use of prenominals like
"Sir" which, in times past, signified knighthood. You see it in their
solemn, deportment and in the Halloween-like outfits worn without a shred of
humor or irony.
ARTICLE WORTH READING: BDSM Disclosure and Stigma Management: Identifying Opportunities for Sex Education
Please also read:
"While participation in the activities like bondage, domination, submission/sadism, masochism that fall under the umbrella term BDSM is widespread, stigma surrounding BDSM poses risks to practitioners who wish to disclose their interest. We examined risk factors involved with disclosure to posit how sex education might diffuse stigma and warn of risks. Semi-structured interviews asked 20 adults reporting an interest in BDSM about their disclosure experiences. Most respondents reported their BDSM interests starting before age 15, sometimes creating a phase of anxiety and shame in the absence of reassuring information. As adults, respondents often considered BDSM central to their sexuality, thus disclosure was integral to dating. Disclosure decisions in non-dating situations were often complex considerations balancing desire for appropriateness with a desire for connection and honesty. Some respondents wondered whether their interests being found out would jeopardize their jobs. Experiences with stigma varied widely."
The cautionary tale of Dawn...... - who found her private life wasn't so private after all...
My custody issues came about midway through the negotiations surrounding my divorce. My ex and I had already been separated for 3 years, and our children, both under 10, were living with me. I have a boyfriend whom I met on the scene, but we do not live together.
WEB: www.sinfulandwicked.co.uk
MOB: 07426 490 214
TWITTER: @sinfulandwicked
A few things not to say to Me:
There is no such thing as long enough or hard enough...
i'll try anything!
i have NO limits
i can take whatever
You do to me
I'm a real pain slut and can take serious abuse
You want to put WHAT
WHERE?
my previous Dom/me
The results are usually quite predictable. :)
26 Apr 2016
As a newbie, I was both eager and apprehensive about seeing a Domme
Dear Mistress Leyla,
As a newbie, I was both eager and apprehensive about seeing
a Domme in person. I felt that my fantasy of a Mistress would never be quite
the same as visiting a real Mistress. But, after putting it off for many years,
I decided to take the plunge. I spoke to quite a few other Pro Dommes' in and
around the Berkshire area, none of whom quite made me feel enticed to make a
booking, until I spoke to you. I am not sure if it was your sexy voice or your
relaxed manner but whatever it was, I was hooked. My visit to your Chambers was
as near to my fantasies as I could possible get in reality, and You were the
Goddess I was seeking. Thank you - many times over. THANK YOU. I will see you
soon for our next session.
~ Simon
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