BDSM Unveiled: When Your Submissive Suffers from Clinical Depression

Structure is incredibly useful for persons suffering with depression. Setting clear, attainable daily tasks (even if your dynamic is long distance) can do a lot to keep a depressed mood from becoming inability to get out of bed. In the worst times, it may have to be something as simple as "You must go to work 4 days out of 5 every week. You must take a shower every other day at 10:30pm." Simple, everyday tasks can be easier to tolerate if they're turned into power dynamic chores, rather than just one more thing they have to try to manage on their own. Professional programs force clients to live by strict rules about when they wake up, when they eat, when they shower, etc, and having those things become automated means that they don't have to make any decisions about it.

The wannabe Dom's complaint

My dearest friend TawnyTrickster on Fetlife wrote this little article on his wall posts - and I loved it... I hope you enjoy it and Join him on Fetlife.

Original post: LINK HERE

Dear Fetlife,

 I joined your site over a week ago and I wish to point out my total dissatisfaction; I haven’t had any sex yet at all.

 I know just what you’re going to say but I fail to see why having no photos and no information on my profile should make any difference. I know for a fact others are the same yet they regularly inform me they’re getting their end away night after night.

 I joined and posted in at least half a dozen groups. My advert was short and to the point, “Kneel before me slut and suck my cock.” What’s not understandable about that? Not a single reply let alone a chance to fool around with a sweet young gal.

 I listed myself as a Dom (and what is it with all this weird capitalisation?) as I’m a man so obviously I can’t be anything else. Why do the subs not submit to me? Surely I should be inundated with offers of rumpy-pumpy? I’d have expected all the ladies to be begging me to slip them a hot beef injection? Nada.

 I see numerous old, short, fat and bald guys listed as playing with gorgeous girls half their age; how do they do that? Come on ladies, I’m a much better bet for a bit of banging! I’m young, fit, I’ll even send you pics of my cock to impress the hell out of you; what better invite could you receive for some jiggery-pokery?

 This is a place where I can find someone to dance the buttocks jig with right? Get some action going? Dip the wick? Come on you bitches, help a guy hit a home run. There must be someone out there as desperate as I am. Drop me a line here, I’ll even come to your place – my mom doesn’t like me having girls over anyway – and I can fill your juicebox for you with my creamy love liquid.

 Oh, so you want me to actually learn about this lifestyle, put some effort into it… Next you’ll want me to go on a voyage of self-discovery. I’m 19 years old FFS! I know what I want. Sheesh, all this just to get an opportunity to introduce the captain to his pie! Well I did read some of the stuff on here and it’s damn hot in places, but I’m more of a doer than a writer myself; I prefer to take a tumble in the hay over having to take the time and trouble to explain my thoughts and feelings to anyone.

 So I guess as I’m not having any luck with dunking my love muscle this maybe isn’t the place for me after all. I’m off to find some sleazy dating sites where I don’t have to pretend to be into the whole BDSM thing to get laid.

 Yours,

 A frustrated wannabe

QUESTION: What is the evolutionary basis for some humans liking bondage/S&M?

ANSWERS: 

(Add your own in comments)

BDSM is a technique to allow you to achieve reproductive success. In animals, normally a dominant partner is the one to spread his or her genes, so it makes sense to be attracted to dominance as you are mating with the head of the group.

In contrast, if you are a low ranking member, one of the few ways you may be able to become attractive to someone else is to make them feel powerful and in control.

BDSM is an extreme manifestation of those urges.

A typology for understanding sexual variation

A typology for understanding sexual variation

The standard model of sex and gender is extremely simple:

Any person who has a female body is a woman. But that is not all:

1.    She feels that she is a woman
2.    She thinks like a woman (whatever that is supposed to mean)
3.    She is attracted to men

The only complexity most people try to handle these days is item number 3: Sexual orientation. More and more seem to agree that same-sex sex is OK, and therefore add sexual orientation as a second dimension to the model.

BDSM in the Writer’s Mind

For a little amusement, something to make you smile. 

BDSM in the Writer’s Mind

Posted on September 23, 2014 by Jen Bradlee

"After watching Chris dig his belongings out of the dumpster and haul them up four flights of stairs, I wondered how sadistic we, the muses, could possibly be. I’m teasing, he only had to haul it up two flights.

Sensuous Caning. SETUP, WARM-UP TECHNIQUE. (#SensualCaning)

Author: Conrad Hodson

© 1997, 1998

INTRODUCTION

Canes have a deserved reputation as The Victorian Terror Weapon.  To most submissives, they mean severe punishment; to sensation-seeking S/M bottoms, overload.  If we have care and patience, however, canes can be used in a loving and sensuous way.  The very stiffness of a good cane, that makes a hard stroke so intense, allows the lightest taps to be given with perfect control.  And a light canestroke is easy to aim, unlike a flexible whip that sags and flops at low power.  In the kind of sensuous play I'm describing here, light strokes are far more prevalent and important than heavy ones.

Rope History and Bondage 101 Guide

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