The Novice - BDSM SESSION REVIEW

Written by phil and moved here, Mar 14 2016 

I lay naked face down on the floor as my nipple clamps were beginning to bite. I could hear a rummaging as Mistress Leyla searched out of my sight.

“I’m just looking for something for you to ride,” she muttered deliberately teasing. I remembered what I had put in my e-mail but was she really going to go through with it? Earlier I was surprised to go outside and for her to fulfill my first fantasy but surely the next thing I asked for was going beyond her remit.

It was if there was a refusal to believe that these fantasies could come true even though Mistress did nothing to hide her agenda. It wasn’t until I was struck on my buttocks for being late that I really believed I was going to be punished. It was not until I was naked outdoors did I believe that would happen, despite being on a lead indoors going through doggie commands.

The denial going through my head was absolute and even when Mistress Leyla said, “I’m looking for something for you to ride” I still didn’t believe what I was in for.

“Turn over she ordered and I obeyed the long nipple clamps catching on the floor and whipping around on release as my body turned. I lay on my back and looked up and caught sight of myself in an overhead mirror.

Yes it really was me, I had final submitted whole-heartedly to a mistress and was awaiting more torments. I was in a dream, I congratulated myself for making it to the world of my fantasies but was she really going to shaft me?

I looked to the side, still not daring to believe and I saw Mistress with a large pink tapered strap-on protruding from her crotch. I swallowed hard as she expertly rolled on a condom along its entire length. I began to worry a little; the strap-on was at least eight inches long and when a man is going to be on the receiving end of a phallus you don’t exaggerate.

Mistress strolled casually towards me stroking her cock slowly, either to tease or torture me mentally, or professionally ironing out any air bubbles. She stood upright between my legs.

“All of our strap-ons are cleaned thoroughly’ she announced, to ally any fears. I did feel better for that information but with it came the realization that I really was going to get shafted!

“First I want you to suck my cock!” she stated with relish and knelt to my side her knees in-between my arm and torso. I wondered how she was going to take me, was she going to do me missionary style where I was laying, getting me to pull my legs up so I would be in the diaper position or have me on all fours and have me doggie style? There was a bondage table waiting menacingly in the corner of the room and I thought she would take me there rather than join me on the floor.

She offered her cock to me and for the time being I would do my best to please her. I didn’t mind being humiliated, that didn’t hurt and as long as her cock was in my mouth it wasn’t going to be doing damage elsewhere.

“Suck it!” she commanded with authority and I quickly lifted my head to clamp my mouth on her strap-on.

Rethinking The Body in Pain

Michael McIntyre

Department of International Studies

(Download PDF here)

By most measures, Elaine Scarry’s The Body in Pain (1985) has been a stunning academic success story. Continuously in print for nearly thirty years, it still ranks among Amazon’s (2015) top ten sellers in literary theory and counts over six thousand academic citations (Google Scholar 2015). Reviewed upon its release by prominent public intellectuals in New Republic (Ignatieff 1985), Commonweal (Wyschogrod 1986), TLS (Byatt 1986), New York Times Book Review (Suleiman 1986), New York Review of Books (Singer 1986), and London Review of Books (Shklar 1986), it has nonetheless not been until now the subject of systematic retrospective. While it has proved unusually fertile as a source of fresh thinking, few have extensively engaged its philosophical argument, Moyn (2013) being one notable exception.

This brief paper can hardly make claim to such an extended engagement, but within its brief compass it will attempt to come to grips with the philosophical core of Scarry’s argument and critique it on home ground. That core, to recap with utmost brevity, is that the self is constructed through the linguistic cathexis between body and world. Pain destroys that cathexis and therefore destroys the self. There is a great deal to be said in favor of this core argument; no attempt will be made here to overturn it. It will be suggested, however, that Scarry makes a signal error at the very beginning of her argument when she suggests that pain is sheerly aversive (1985, p. 52). A more complicated phenomenology of pain will be suggested in its place, and some of its consequences explored.

The Argument Restated

The Battle for Self-Expression amidst #Transphobic Street Violence

Anna Kozak

RyersonUniversity

“What I Wanted to Wear”: The Battle for Self-Expression amidst Transphobic Street Violence 

( you can download PDF here)

On Sunday, July 12th, 2015 at 11:10 pm, Alok Vaid-Menon, one of the two members of the Trans South Asian poetry collective, Darkmatter, posted a picture on Facebook of themselves in a dress. The caption stated, “The story goes something like this: Every morning when I wake up and look at my closet I ask myself, ‘How much do I want to be street harassed today?’” (Vaid-Menon). Vaid-Menon, who prefers the pronoun ‘they,’ answers their own question with, “This means I usually gravitate away from the skirts and dresses and move begrudgingly toward the more conventionally ‘masculine’ clothing. I consider for a moment how peculiar it feels that I have been made to find safety and security in masculinity—this thing that has been such a site of violence and anxiety in my past.” This post was particularly salient in the social media world, receiving almost twenty-thousand likes and producing valuable dialogue on what it means to be trans and gender non-conforming in a world that demands conformity to gender binaries in exchange for physical and emotional safety. This post’s capacity for discursive production, however, was not limited to the world of social media. It also inspired a movement called “What I Wanted to Wear” on the website, Medium, which is a self-proclaimed online

“community of  readers  and  writers  offering unique  perspectives  on  ideas  large  and  small”

(“About Medium”). “What I Wanted to Wear” extends Vaid-Menon’s post into a project centred around trans and gender non-conforming subjects’ clothing selections, fixating on the disparity between what they desire to wear and what they ultimately choose to wear to avoid street harassment and life-threatening transphobic violence. Each contribution to the project follows a similar pattern: the user creates a post that contains two juxtaposing photos—one that resembles relatively cis-normative attire, representing “what I wore,” and one that reveals the individual’s authentic gender expression, representing “what I wanted to wear.” The term “authentic” in this context refers to the gender expression with which the individual most closely identifies, although the notion of authenticity is often used in dominant gender discourse to dismiss trans and gender non-conforming individuals’ identities, which will be discussed later on in this paper. Beneath each set of photographs are quotations from the trans or gender non-conforming subject that foster a discussion about the connection between clothing, gender fluidity, and transphobic violence. Each post ends with the individual’s preferred pronoun use and the statement, “Feeling deep ambivalence about how we dress is something the trans and gender non-conforming communities experience acutely, but it’s not just about us. We’d love to hear from everybody about how we navigate self presentation each day.” I use the words “trans” and “gender non-conforming” in accordance with the movement’s terminology, although many contributors have more specific identities, such as “transwoman” for Aaryn Lang or “agender trans male” for Pax Gethen. This combination of visual presentation and text depicts clothing choice as a symbol of self-expression and raises awareness about the daily struggles that gender non-conforming people endure, which are potentially life-threatening, to express a fluid gender that defies the

“two-sex model” of binary gender, “radical dimorphism, [and] biological divergence” that has dominated gender discourse since the “late eighteenth century” (Lacqueur 5-6).

Domme + sub. The most honest relationship you will ever have.

The relationship between a Domme and a submissive is probably the most honest relationship there is. There is no need for lies and half truths or secrets. This fact is not always on the forefront of my daily thoughts, but occasionally something is said or acted upon which reminds me just how open and honest a BDSM relationship can be.

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of one of my long term submissives kneeling before my feet. We had just finished an hour's intense session and we were winding down, discussing the session and catching a few minutes of calmness. 

My submissive looked at me and said. "Mistress, you are the one person on this earth that I can be truly myself. Be truly open and honest with you. I can talk about issues in my daily life which are problematic . Share my most inner thoughts with you. I don't have to pretend about who or what I am. I can be me."

I am not often speechless or void of an instant reflective comment.The brutal sincerity and openness between a sub and Domme is something I know well. His comments slapped me into remembering this much taken for granted fact, and like a long forgotten ache, I had the realisation that I had grown complacent to the wonders of such an sincere and straightforward relationship.

As Dommes, we are not singularly defined or characterised by our skill with a bull whip. And our subs are not simply our play things - to degrade, humiliate and hurt then throw away. We become their counsellors. Their trusted confidant. A friend whom they can trust without question. Our responsibilities as Dommes grows from safe, sane and consensual to encompass spiritual, mental and emotional wellbeing.

I am glad I was reminded about how special a BDSM relationship can be, how difficult if not impossible  it can be to find anything resembling this openness in the vanilla world,  because the vanilla world is the fictional picket fenced country house. Full of insecurities, lies and deceptions.  Bdsm allows one to be free - in thought and structure. Free from casual social restraints, cultural binds and moral servitude.  

The Novice - 1st hand account of a #BDSM session with Mistress Leyla

Written by Back2egg. This story is an account of a session we had together. It was a 2 hour, so a long piece of writing. Enjoy.

The original can be seen HERE:

I lay naked face down on the floor as my nipple clamps were beginning to bite. I could hear a rummaging as Mistress Leyla searched out of my sight.

“I’m just looking for something for you to ride,” She muttered deliberately teasing. I remembered what I had put in my e-mail but was She really going to go through with it? Earlier I was surprised to go outside and for Her to fulfill my first fantasy but surely the next thing I asked for was going beyond Her remit.

It was if there was a refusal to believe that these fantasies could come true even though Mistress did nothing to hide Her agenda. It wasn’t until I was struck on my buttocks for being late that I really believed I was going to be punished. It was not until I was naked outdoors did I believe that would happen, despite being on a lead indoors going through doggie commands.

The denial going through my head was absolute and even when Mistress Leyla said, “I’m looking for something for you to ride” I still didn’t believe what I was in for.

“Turn over She ordered and I obeyed the long nipple clamps catching on the floor and whipping around on release as my body turned. I lay on my back and looked up and caught sight of myself in an overhead mirror.

Yes it really was me, I had final submitted whole-heartedly to a Mistress and was awaiting more torments. I was in a dream, I congratulated myself for making it to the world of my fantasies but was She really going to shaft me?

I looked to the side, still not daring to believe and I saw Mistress with a large pink tapered strap-on protruding from Her crotch. I swallowed hard as She expertly rolled on a condom along its entire length. I began to worry a little; the strap-on was at least eight inches long and when a man is going to be on the receiving end of a phallus you don’t exaggerate.

Mistress strolled casually towards me stroking Her cock slowly, either to tease or torture me mentally, or professionally ironing out any air bubbles. She stood upright between my legs.

“All of our strap-ons are cleaned thoroughly.’ She announced, to allay any fears. I did feel better for that information but with it came the realization that I really was going to get shafted!

“First I want you to suck my cock!” She stated with relish and knelt to my side Her knees in-between my arm and torso. I wondered how She was going to take me, was She going to do me missionary style where I was laying, getting me to pull my legs up so I would be in the diaper position or have me on all fours and have me doggie style? There was a bondage table waiting menacingly in the corner of the room and I thought She would take me there rather than join me on the floor.

She offered Her cock to me and for the time being I would do my best to please Her. I didn’t mind being humiliated, that didn’t hurt and as long as Her cock was in my mouth it wasn’t going to be doing damage elsewhere.

“Suck it!” She commanded with authority and I quickly lifted my head to clamp my mouth on Her strap-on.

I sucked quickly noticing the latex sheath on my tongue. As my head motioned back and forth my teeth lightly chattered on Her cock and I forced my jaw to open wider not wanting to puncture the condom.

“Lick it!” She demanded and I instantly disengaged my mouth and went to sliding my tongue along the length.

“Suck it!” She quickly revised and once again Her cock was in my mouth slowly fucking away with tiny thrusts.

Again the will to please Her took over and I tried to gobble as much of Her pink strap-on down my throat as possible.

“Good boy” She praised genuinely pleased with my efforts as I quickly worked up the length. I started to gag and was quickly instructed by Mistress.

How to fly (as in airplane) with BDSM related gear

Although the below article is in relation to the USA, I think most Transportation bodies would be the same including the UK & Europe. there is also an interesting article on Prodomme.com

Hitting the Road - Traveling with Bondage Toys

Transexualism, Feminism, and Gender / The Great Transsexual Radical Feminist Menace

Exploring my pc I discovered a couple of articles I had saved on the feminist criticism of transexuals. They are dated 2008, so obviously some time ago. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to locate the original posts to refer to them. But, I'm going to post them here anyway....

Transexualism, Feminism, and Gender

" As aggressively vitriolic and hurtful as radical feminist criticism of transexuals often is, I believe that transexuals do themselves a grave disservice by dismissing that criticism as entirely rooted in blind transphobia. There is certainly a very strong element of transphobia in certain quarters of the feminist movement, but even a broken clock is right two times a day. It is hardly surprising that the majority of transexuals are heteronormative in terms of their chosen gender presentation and behaviour, but this becomes exceedingly problematic due to the extremely loud and highly active minority of transexuals who are militantly heteronormative.

A rather lovely quote - trans infighting

"All of us, "trans" or not, are on a journey - to find our authentic selves and find courage to live the lives we want. The word "transition," normally used to denote the transition from one gender role to another, ought to instead refer to a continuous process where one keeps finding, and implementing, one's true, self-identified identity, away from prevailing social expectations."

http://destrantalk.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/transgender-infighting.html

The first TV/CD Support night presented by Support U.

Welcome to the first TV/CD Support night presented by Support U.

This evening is aimed at those wishing to explore the fem-side of their gender expression in a safe and inclusive environment. Come along, meet others in a similar(ish) situation, get some helpful hints and tips from people that can help you out and enjoy some tea and biscuits.

We have space for you to change here if you wish, or come as you are. Partners and supportive allies welcome if you want to bring them along. Don't feel that you have to dress up, coming drab is completely fine.

DATE: 17th December 2015

TIME: 19:00 - 22:00

WHERE: Support U - Resource service for LGBT in Thames Valley

ADDRESS: 15 Castle Street, Reading, Berkshire, RG1 7SB.

MORE INFO: SUPPORT U TV/CD NIGHT

I received a letter today......

Dear Mistress Leyla

I hope that you will find my email both respectful and full of admiration for a Lady I most certainly perceive to be a true Alpha female.

I like to think that I am not the stereotypical male driven purely by physical beauty, however I most certainly appreciate  the undeniable fact that you are to say the very least a  divinely beautiful Lady.

However after reading your words, via your very elegant website ,as well as some of the exerts on your twitter account, you physical beauty is clearly a projection of the beautiful person, you most surely are.

You are a Lady that clearly should be worshiped and adored by others, as you are one of those rare and real Women of true Supremacy in mind body and soul. With out question , you enrich those you deem worthy of your time and or presence. Possible even giving some a true direction to follow , as well as the joy that can come with higher meanings, and purpose.

I am sure you are fully aware of the force of nature you are , and how others will's bend at your whim , being as with out question once you enter another's mind they could not possible be the same again, nor would they wish to be.

I noticed your  enjoyment of chastity , which if I am honest , perked my interest , being as it  can be a deep and meaningful expression of devotion and surrender to another. After all where the mind goes the body surely will follow.  And chastity is most certainly a pure type of surrender, in both a mental and physical sense.  And of course any Dominant that can and does make a submissive wear such a device is surely a Dominant who both revels in, having a true understanding of the true mental aspect of BDSM and the course and effects.

I am not a weak willed male lost at sea as it were , in fact I like to think I am the complete polar opposite to most, and have always tended to walk my own path . However in saying that , I understanding that all males worlds revolve around Females, to some extent. I most certainly have come to appreciate , admire and wish to adore those rare few such as yourself that truly understand the undeniable  power you wheeled.

In conclusion , I do hope that you will not find my message too random or , pointless even, I tend not to sit and compose such messages that often . But after coming across your site , I found that at the very least I wished to express , what I hope comes across as genuine admiration for a Lady that simply was meant to own others, and I admit I do envy those you do own.

yours with respect
Adrian

Help defend #BDSM, #LGBTQ, sex work, privacy and free speech.

Help the first UK solicitor to crowd-fund his pro bono work to defend BDSM, LGBTQ, sex work, privacy and free speech.

If you are reading this and you are in the UK, you may one day need a lawyer to defend you and yours against the government’s anti-sexual freedom laws.

Even if you are not in the UK, you may enjoy reading or viewing material produced there, so this affects you too.

“I am the only lawyer in the UK who specialises in obscenity law and sexual freedoms”

Myles Jackman is the lawyer who specialises in this work and he devotes a lot of his time to working pro bono – i.e. for free. Help Myles do this important work by pledging a small monthly sum.

Help defend BDSM, LGBTQ and free speech * Hush-Hush

Myths and Misconceptions About #Kink

Benny Vimes — February 1, 2013

Our culture is full of myths, misconceptions, and confusion about kink, BDSM, and fetishes. We’re going to address 10 of them here; 5 in this article and another coming soon. For each of the misconceptions there will be two answers: one from Benny and one from Cheyenne. That way you can get two different perspectives, but it is also worth saying that like any other identity we can’t speak for everyone who identifies as kinky. The kink world is incredibly diverse!

Also, this post may contain too much sexual content for some readers. If that bothers you, don’t read it.

1) Kink is inherently incompatible with feminism/reifies patriarchy.

Benny – One of the most important tenets of feminism is that people have the right to decide for themselves what the structures of their relationships look like, and what kind of sex they want to have, or not have. Patriarchy tells us there are limited roles people can take in relationships, and that the kinds of sex we can have and the situations in which we have it are limited. A feminist

perspective can open up those options, saying that women, and indeed people of all genders, have the right to make those decisions without consulting a patriarchal society. We have the right to make sexual decisions for ourselves, and we even have the right to define pleasure for ourselves.

When we see a man beating a woman in a BDSM scene, it can look a lot like abuse. It makes sense to question the act of hitting a woman when we live in a society full of non-consensual violence. Without knowing the context of the scene, no wonder people assume it is not okay! However, if that woman ASKED for that scene, specifically requested it, negotiated with the man hitting her, and set limits around what that scene would include, the situation is quite different from the kind of violence that feminism fights against.

Types Of Control in #BDSM

Since the different varieties of BDSM overlap, a mutually exclusive and exhaustive classification system is not very useful. Instead an overview of different types of control allows you to express your wants and needs (and meh’s and do-not-want’s) more clearly with your partner.

Physical Control. 

Bondage is the most obvious form of physical control because it restrains the bottom, thus limiting their physical freedom. Of course, physical control is not only about restraining limbs. It can involve confinement, such as keeping someone prisoner in a dungeon or locking a person on a human-size birdcage. It can involve physically overpowering someone without restraints and instead pinning them down with your forearms or using your body weight to keep them off balance. It may involve having a third person stand guard at the doorway in case the bottom flees.

The essence of physical control is that the bottom is not necessarily playing along with the scenario. He or she can resist. The bottom may struggle against restraints, or try to flee the cage, or fight back in a simulated abduction all as part of the escapist arousal process that lends to the sensation of being overpowered by a stronger force—but not necessarily outsmarted by a superior intellect.

Processing Pain in Play: What Can Interrupt or Block Pain Processing?

 By lunaKM Submissive Guide 

What do you think can interrupt your pain processing ability? If you’ve experienced anything like I have, there are moments where you just can’t change the pain response to anything beyond pain. What normally feels really good is just not. There are a number of things that can block your ability to translate the pain using techniques talked about earlier.

Let’s think about the things that we need to actively process pain and make play enjoyable for both parties. You need focus, trust, little to no distraction, appropriate mood, and a healthy and rested body. Any of these things can fall out of balance and then you may have issues processing pain.

Mood

Mood is separated in two parts. Your emotional state and the environmental mood set up by the scene.

Adventures in Depression Part 2

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

I remember being endlessly entertained by the adventures of my toys. Some days they died repeated, violent deaths, other days they traveled to space or discussed my swim lessons and how I absolutely should be allowed in the deep end of the pool, especially since I was such a talented doggy-paddler.

I didn't understand why it was fun for me, it just was.

Adventures in Depression

Recently, as I was casually surfing the widest web, I came across a blog which caught my attention. The blog had nothing to do with BDSM, or fetish or any of my usual reads, in fact, it was a blog which hit a soft, delicate part of myself - and will anyone who has ever suffered from depression or is currently suffering from depression. Or as I put it - lives with the disease on a daily basis and will do so forever, because it is who we are.

I would like to thank the author... Allie... You have summed it up perfectly.

There are two parts to this topic, the first you will find below and the second will be posted soon.

Here is the actual address of Hyperbole and a half

Some people have a legitimate reason to feel depressed, but not me. I just woke up one day feeling sad and helpless for absolutely no reason.

Alan Groont! We don't want fake #submissives like you!!

Yet again, another story of a submissive who entered into a BDSM relationship with a Mistress and still doesn't realise he is a worthless little pig.. A silly dog who thinks BDSM IS all about 'topping from the bottom'. I call this FAKERY and it should have a punishment all of it's own. Here is what he said:

"There are plenty of real dominants out there who know how to do things the right way, the way I like them.”

THE WAY you LIKE IT??? Read the article here, and if anyone knows his twitter.....

There are several stupid types of submissive, read them here on My blog.

Submissive Alan Groont, 53, says he was shocked and alarmed when his relationship with Mistress Mandy Martin, 28, took a “violent and dramatic turn” after he was caught masturbating in the shower.

A list of roles within BDSM from #FetLife

Discovered this list of general roles within BDSM on Fetlife today - Worth a look.

Dominant: A person who seeks to exercise power, authority, or control; usually over a submissive in a D/s dynamic.

Domme: A person who seeks to exercise power, authority, or control; usually female or feminine-presenting and usually over a submissive in a D/s dynamic.

Switch: A person who enjoys participating in either side of a sexual/kink dynamic depending on mood, partner, or situation.

submissive: A person who seeks to submit or give up control; usually to a Dominant or Domme in a D/s dynamic.

Master: A person who seeks to exercise power, authority, or control; usually over a slave in an M/s dynamic.

Mistress: A person who exercises control as an owner or dominant over someone else; usually female or feminine-presenting and usually over a slave in an M/s dynamic.

What I did today....The Lady of the manor and her ponyboy

I received an email from Eric today... He wanted to play a game. A role-play game. Eric's character was going to be called 'Alex', a junior stable boy under the employment of Lady Leyla.

Alex has secrets. Alex loves to dress in women's clothing. It is Alex's day off and he has snuck into the woods on the manor houses grounds in his feminine clothes and is enjoying his favorite pass time of playing with his ass. He gets caught by the Lady of the Manor.

Today, I am the Lady of the manor

Reading this little scenario gave me ideas. It wasn't going to be a simple '"Bad boy alex, what are you doing? You will be punished!" Oh no! Alex was really going to get it.

Satirical Illustrations Reveal How World Leaders See Justice

Satirical Illustrations Reveal How World Leaders See Justice

Op-ed: Trans Men Experience Far More Violence Than Most People Assume | Advocate.com

Op-ed: Trans Men Experience Far More Violence Than Most People Assume | Advocate.com

Dominant. submissive. Or both?

Crossdreamers: Felix Conrad Talks about Transgender Research, Crossdreaming and Beach Clubbing

Crossdreamers: Felix Conrad Talks about Transgender Research, Crossdreaming and Beach Clubbing

The Amnesty Sex Work Argument, Broken Down

VICE: by Frankie Mullin / @frankiemullin

"You might have noticed a shit-storm around sex work in your newsfeed this week: Amnesty was accused of being onside with pimps, there were lots of open letters and there were even more opinions. Lena Dunham got involved.

The beef is based on Amnesty's proposal that sex work should be fully decriminalised, as the charity believes this will make things safer for sex workers. Some people disagree; most conspicuously some of Hollywood's leading ladies including Lena Dunham, Anne Hathaway, Carey Mulligan and Kate Winslet. According to those in opposition, Amnesty has climbed into bed with a bunch of pimps. Others think that decriminalisation is the way forward for sex workers. Managed to miss the whole thing? Here's a breakdown of what happened.

First up, what did Amnesty actually propose?

On the 7th of July, Amnesty issued a draft policy proposal, suggesting that the criminalisation of sex work harms those most in need of protection, i.e. sex workers themselves. The proposal follows a two-year consultation and is backed up by numerous studies from organisations like the Human Rights Council, United Nation Convention Against Transnational Organized Crime, the Commission on Human Rights and UNAIDS. On a global scale, Amnesty argues that decriminalisation offers sex workers better legal protections and makes them less vulnerable to exploitation from third parties.

Then came the letters...

Coming Out transgender at work.

Guardian readers and Charlotte Seager

"I got a standing ovation – it was the most amazing day of my life

I worked for the City of Los Angeles and transitioned near the end of my career. I told my HR chief, who brought together a team of managers and we spent a year planning my transition.

When the day came for the announcement, we brought together every manager in the department along with my staff and I got up to tell my story. My colleagues listened, transfixed, and when I got to the end they gave me a standing ovation. It was one of the most amazing days of my life.

I didn’t come to work en femme for about a week, but when I did I got lots of compliments and support. Many people expressed admiration for what I did and called it courageous. I called it necessary. A couple of gay and lesbian co-workers said that I served as an example, and gave them courage for their own coming out. For me, that is the best result of all. – boots4me

A customer shouted: ‘I’m not having my kids exposed to this!’While working in retail it became noticeable that my assistant manager didn’t agree with, as she called it, “my lifestyle”. Things became more awkward when, during Bristol pride, another co-worker said that they didn’t believe “those people” should share equal rights.It wasn’t just my co-workers. Once, while working on the tills, a large gentleman and his family became aggressive. He leaned down to look at my face, gave me an ugly stare and shouted: “Are you a woman?” I looked up, startled. He continued: “Are you a man dressed as one? Are you a man?”

I was stunned. He was incredibly loud and caught me off guard. I replied quietly: “I’m female transgender”.

“For fuck’s sake! Do you see this?’’. He flung his arm in the air and motioned aggressively at my co-workers. “I’m not having my kids exposed to this!’’

What followed was a blur of obscenities and shouting, the customer argued with my manager and it was difficult to get him to leave. He was moved to the next till but continued to spout abuse.

A few months later I was let go. It was clear the decision was partly based on the fact that I’m LGBTQ [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer]. I didn’t fight it, the workplace was unpleasant. I hope that no one in future has to experience anything like this. – Abigail WardI am proud to be the first person to change gender in the RAFWhile working in the RAF for 18 years I had to keep my gender identity a closely guarded secret. It was a personal battle I struggled with all my life, but in 1998 I made the decision to live my own life, not someone else’s.

It took a year to get everything in place before I told the RAF I was transitioning. No one had been allowed to remain in the service as an openly transgender person before, so I expected the worst. Fortunately the people I told were amazingly supportive and I was allowed to stay. I became the first transgender woman to serve openly in the RAF.

We worked everything out together. I moved to a headquarters staff team to transition and adjust to my new military life. To be fully accepted I knew I had to prove I was more capable of doing my job than ever, so I asked to rejoin a frontline squadron. I became highly valued at my job and an atmosphere of respect and support grew with me. Throughout 16 years of service as a trans woman I always felt I was part of a tremendous team, I had their backs and they had mine. Transgender issues in the workplace

 It is the people around you who make or break you. I knew I had a big part to play to earn their respect, and by achieving that I paved a pathway for other transgender people to follow in my footsteps. I have just retired from the RAF and I am proud of my achievements – but I am prouder still of the people I worked with. – CarolineRP

To get a job, I had to give in and apply as a fake male

After coming to terms with being transgender, I applied for hundreds of jobs, and got zero call-backs. I had to throw my hands up in the air, give in, and apply as a fake male. If I was only responsible for myself I wouldn’t have done this, but I take care of my disabled mother so I had to think of her.

I applied for a job to become a teacher for adults with developmental disabilities, and wouldn’t you know it, the first job I applied for as a male, I got. I am now hesitant to come out, because as part of my current role we provide personal care to people, and there are students who have gender preferences. I am scared that being transgender may become an issue with my students – and if they have a problem (or their families do) what is to happen to me? – Aileen Everlast

My opinion at work now counts for a fraction of what it once didI changed gender fine at work, but since transitioning things have altered. I work in a male environment and my opinion counts for a fraction of what it once did. I am routinely excluded from discussions, not informed of meetings and denied equal training. Despite requests, I have been given nothing but unrewarding and unpopular tasks since I transitioned, while new starters are assigned high-profile work.

I don’t know if this is discrimination, but it feels like it. I can’t tell if it’s because I’m trans or a woman. I have no idea what to do about it. Despite this, transitioning is still the best thing I have done in my life. I now have a future. –AnnaKays"

Coming out & being transgender at work.Real life experiences

For transgender men and women, coming out at work can be a nerve-racking experience. So, as cities around the world host LGBT pride events this summer, we want to hear your stories of being transgender at work. Whether you had a supportive workplace or faced intrusive questions, share your experiences.

Transgender child

Part 1: Transgender in Cincinnati

A WEBSITE WORTH READING

Crossdreamers

What Caitlyn Jenner's Story Means for MTF Crossdressers, Crossdreamers and Transgender

Crossdreamers

Countries with most transphobic murders

Examples of Transphobia.....

Being transgender in a transphobic society

Being transgender in a transphobic society leads to moments of sheer desperation

Meredith Talusan

"Imagine that, after having taken the most difficult step of deciding to live as your authentic gender, you find yourself losing the support of family members and friends just as you’re trying to adjust to a new social role. Then you walk out on the street and are discriminated against in various ways, from being referred to as the wrong gender, to being prevented from entering bathrooms or dressing rooms, to being verbally and even physically attacked.

Even if you’re fortunate enough to “pass” so that people can’t tell you’re transgender – which few trans people do early in transition – you must reveal your assigned gender when you present identification, and then deal with people’s often extreme reactions when they feel like you’ve “fooled” them simply for being who you are. If you try to change your name, let alone your gender marker on your ID, you’re told that you can’t do the former without a court order or the latter without surgery. But you can’t have surgery without money, and you don’t have money without family support, especially when people won’t hire you because you’re trans. You can easily find yourself homeless when you have neither a job or a support system, even as the shelter system also discriminates against trans people.

Germaine Greer is not on my list of positive feminists. In Fact, I dislike most of her speeches and most of her views. Why? She is a TERF. Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist - a loosely-organized collective with a message of hate and exclusion against transgender women in particular, and transgender people as a whole. They have attached themselves to radical feminism as a means to attempt to deny trans women basic access to health care, women's groups, restroom facilities, and anywhere that may be considered women's space.

My article about TERFism can be read here

Hunted: Gay & Afraid. The rising bigotry

ELLEN E JONES - The Independent 

"Last night's Hunted: Gay and Afraid was a documentary about the recent global wave of regressive anti-LGBT legislation – and not the first, either. The excellent 2012 documentary, Call Me Kuchu, explored similar territory in 2012, as did BBC2's Stephen Fry: Out There in 2013 and Reggie Yates' Extreme Russia, earlier this year.
 All of those documentaries benefited from compelling personal insights into how individuals in the LGBT community have been affected. This Dispatches film, fronted by the former Newsnight reporter Liz MacKean, took a different tack.
 MacKean's film focused not on the victims but on the "villains", specifically the World Congress of Families, an organisation which, though based in the US, has tentacles stretching into Europe, Africa and beyond. View footage of any high-level meeting to draft draconian, homophobic legislation, anywhere in the world, and it seems you'll find a WCF member or affiliate lurking in the corner of the frame.
 Figures such as the WCF managing director, Pastor Larry Jacobs, and Brian Brown, president of the National Organisation for Marriage, were tracked down by MacKean and confronted with the accusation that the effect of their lobbying can be to legitimise violence.
 This isn't news to viewers of the above-mentioned documentaries. It was striking to note how the same lobbying tactics have been replicated from country to country: First, select a biddable local politician as a frontman, then falsely conflate homosexuality with child abuse, spuriously blame gay people for public health issues and repeat as necessary.
 Sadly, MacKean's strategy of pointing out the logical flaws in these arguments seemed to have little effect. Bigotry rarely responds to reason."

The episode ' Gay and afraid' by Chanel 4's Dispatches can be viewed here:

 

 

DISPATCHES

I'm Transgender - I'm Still Human! - Talulah-Eve Brown

"As a transgender woman I have been a victim of transphobic hate crime for a very long time now. When I tell people about my experiences of hate crime their reactions are "OMG. Why don't you report it?", well... if I was to report every single hate crime I faced then I would be in court every single day!

It's not that I don't want to report it because obviously I would love to see justice over this kind of abuse, but over time it has just become something that I'm used to so It just makes my life easier to brush it off.

Police fire at #pride march in Istanbul with water cannons and rubber bullets

"Is Turkish society overtly homophobic and religious? Or have these attitudes been fuelled by the religious regime of Erdogan's New Turkey?"

Police in Turkey blasted water cannons and fired rubber bullets at a pride march on Sunday as people celebrated in the city streets under rainbow banners, according to eye-witnesses in Istanbul.

For many Turks, Gezi symbolizes protest against injustice. And Sunday was no different.

— www.huffingtonpost.com

Photoshoot result

Working with Rich Suit, we came up with these:


...

Male submission, Evolution and Enslavement

COURTESY OF www.enslavement.org.uk/malesub

One repeated accusation levelled against the Internal Enslavement website is that we are in some way opposed to female dominance or male submission.

This is simply false.

In attempting to understand relationships of Enslavement between masters and female slaves, we have limited the scope of our work, without claiming that similar relationships do not take place between people of other genders and orientations.

Look, Ladies, His Boobies ! Part Two

Part One HERE

Feel free to email Me your stories at mistress.lady.leyla@gmail.com, I do publish them

By Ian / Brianna

               “BUT Janet!”  I pleaded, “please don’t give me any more hormones!  They hurt!”

              

               My voice came through muffled from inside my slave helmet, my tongue depressed by the force-feeder funnel my wife used to spit Premarin and Provera tablets into my mouth along with a good deal of her spit, which washed them immediately down my throat.  She chuckled and did it again, as she did every morning, despite my pleas. 

Serving as a hostess at my wife Janet’s bridge party - A submissive's story - literally!

Ok readers, here is a BDSM story submission by Brianna., Emailed to me this morning.

What do we think of it? 

Part One:

HOW did it ever get this far? I’m actually serving as a hostess at my wife Janet’s bridge party ! A hostess, moreover, dressed as a maid, which is what I became six months ago - my own wife’s personal maid !

The dark side of Barbie and Ken's marriage: Artist's extraordinary photos tell tale of dolls' miserable relationship

READ MORE BELOW

The dark side of Barbie and Ken's marriage: Artist's extraordinary photos tell tale of dolls' miserable relationship

Regulator Atvod's ban on fetish films criticised by free-speech campaigners

Activists from Backlash, which promotes freedom of sexual expression, said Atvod was illegally subverting free speech and accused it of being out of touch with the online world.

Photograph: Richard Fremont/Getty

Courtesy Of The Guardian's Damien Gayle - @damiengayle

Authority for Television on Demand says clips on fetish sites would be banned if on DVD but one dominatrix dismisses regulator as ‘UK’s Pornfinder General’

  

Free-speech campaigners have condemned the first rulings against film-makers under new rules banning the depiction of harmful sexual fetishes.

The Authority for Television on Demand (Atvod) ruled that sites run by two dominatrix film-makers offered video-on-demand clips that would be banned on if they were for sale on DVD.

One site, Glasgow Mistress Megara Furie, was found to have breached rules with a film showing repeated kicks to a man’s genitals that appeared to draw blood. The second, Mistress R’eal, fell foul of regulations with several videos, including one of a man being whipped until welts appeared on his back.

But activists from the group Backlash, which promotes freedom of sexual expression, said the rules applied by Atvod amounted to illegal subversion of free speech and accused the regulator of being out of touch with the online world.

The rulings are the first to be brought under rule 14 of the Atvod rulebook, which bans a video-on-demand service from showing material that would be refused classification by the BBFC (British Board of Film Classification).

Atvod’s ruling on Glasgow Mistress Megara Furie’s film Ballbusting said: “The sustained kicking appears to cause pain and on several occasions reference is made to the man’s genitals beginning to bleed. The end of the video features a close up which gives clear sight of Glasgow Mistress Megara Furie’s bloodied feet.”

The ruling added: “With clear sight of forceful kicks to the genitals which appear to break the skin, this goes beyond the allowance made by the BBFC [British Board of Film Classification] for ‘moderate, non-abusive consensual activity’.”

Mistress R’eal fell foul of the same rule with A Bullwhipping In The Woods parts 1 and 2, two videos that show a man being whipped for not eating faeces off the shoe of the dominatrix.

Atvod said the gag and restraints used in a third video meant a man’s “means of indicating a withdrawal of consent is not apparent”, again in breach of BBFC rules

Both sites were also found to have breached a second rule intended to keep hardcore pornography out of the reach of children.

Peter Johnson, chief executive of Atvod, said all the videos ruled against had been shown to the BBFC, whose analysts agreed they would not pass them for sale, even in licensed sex shops. He said Glasgow Mistress Megara Furie had acted quickly to shut down the service and remove the offending video, but Mistress R’eal was facing enforcement action. Sanctions include a fine of up to £250,000 or a ban from providing video-on-demand services, Johnson said.

Ruth Evans, Atvod’s chair, said: “Under the new rules, material which is banned from sale on a DVD in the UK is also banned from UK video-on-demand services.

“This is particularly likely to affect pornographic videos which feature violence or in which consent is not clear. If you can’t walk into a licensed sex shop and buy it, nor can you view it at home on a UK video-on-demand service regulated by Atvod.”

Rule 14 came into force in December amid protests by sex workers, pornographers and free-speech campaigners. Those opposed to it drew wide publicity with a protest outside parliament that included “face-sitting”, a sexual activity banned under the rule.

Campaigners with Backlash told the Guardian they believed the new regulation, brought in using a statutory instrument (a law enacted through delegated powers), went beyond the scope of the EU directive it was based on and as a result would fail a judicial review.

Itziar Urrutia, who runs the Urban Chick Supremacy Cell, a dominatrix fetish website, said: “The patriarchy knows full well that the CPS [Crown Prosecution Service] don’t prosecute these minority-interest websites under the Obscene Publications Act because a jury wouldn’t convict. So they resort to illegal ‘rules’. This will end in a grown-up court.

“Atvod have erected themselves as the UK’s Pornfinder General. A modern witch-hunt against a peril that sacrifices children to a fantasy evil created by the state. The sole purpose of this new puritanism is mass control and surveillance, under the pretence of ‘protection’.”

Urrutia successfully fought Atvod last year over rules that demand explicit material must be kept out of the reach of people under 18. She added: “I have some bad news for our government: like it or not, paywalls don’t stop minors from accessing porn because they don’t need to pay for it. They are far more techie-savvy than these luddite civil servants.

“What children need is sex education to help them understand the role of porn in society,” she said.

Hot Girls Wanted, Porn Isn't 'Ruining' Women. Exploitative Labor Is.

Hot Girls Wanted, the newish documentary produced by actress Rashida Jones, is making headlines and earning some rave reviews—as well as getting panned by people in the adult industry and advocates for sex workers—for its depiction of one tiny sliver of the wide world of porn, a fly-by-night talent agency called Hussie Models, which operates out of a scuzzy little house in Florida. The movie centers around a handful of young women at the Hussie house at a particular time, but purports to be a window into “professional amateur” pornography as a whole, strongly hinting that it’s an industry that ruins many guileless young women who only wanted to be famous.

The idea that young women are being lured into the Big City only to have their virtue wrecked is a very old story, going back to the 19th century social purity movement and the Christian reformers who set up weekly soapboxes outside houses of prostitution. In Hot Girls Wanted, the general notion that porn irreparably or at least very seriously taints women is paired, a little shakily, with shots of writhing pop stars like Miley Cyrus. Its goal is somehow clear and vague simultaneously: Hot Girls Wanted is aiming to convey something about our sexually-saturated, erotically schizophrenic culture—but that something never resolves to anything much at all.

If amateur porn was, in fact, lying in wait within the recesses of the Internet to snatch very young women away from loving homes to plunge them deep into highly visible sexual slavery en masse, Hot Girls Wanted would highlight a trend of sexual corruption that no civil society should put up with. But the film’s obsession with sex kneecaps a much more important discussion on young women and labor: a discussion that in one way is specific to a small and unregulated corner of the porn industry in Florida, but speaks more generally to the way cultural shame contributes directly to exploitation.

READ MORE BELOW

In Hot Girls Wanted, Porn Isn't 'Ruining' Women. Exploitative Labor Is.

BDSM Blog posts available to download

10 TIPS FOR BOLD LIVING FROM A DOMINATRIX

10 TIPS FOR BOLD LIVING FROM A DOMINATRIX

Coming Out As #Kinky: Food for Thought - www.submissiveguide.com

Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought | Submissive Guide

This past winter I ran an educational event through the campus Women’s Center on BDSM in response to Fifty Shades of Grey. With the movie coming out I knew that people would be interested in the topic and consider trying it themselves and I wanted them to be safe about it. I covered the basics of SSC and RACK, I discussed the differences between bedroom only, D/s, and M/s, talked about the different typed of toys and risks associated with the toys (Dildos should be made of glass so they do not hold bacteria and Never insert anything into your anus that doesn’t have a base because your rectum forms a vacuum and could suck it in), and held a discussion.

Homeless ex-con is charged with hate crime after 'pushing transgender woman onto NYC subway tracks

Rolan Reid, 32, was seen on surveillance video pulling a plastic bottle from the garbage and throwing it at a transgender woman before shoving her   

By PETE D'AMATO FOR DAILY MAIL ONLINE

 

A homeless man is charged with attempted murder as a hate crime after pushing a transgender woman onto the subway tracks, authorities said Saturday.

Rolan Reid, 32, was arrested Thursday at Bellevue Hospital, where he was undergoing a psychiatric evaluation after approaching and assaulting a woman at the Bleecker Street station in Manhattan.

Reid was originally charged with second-degree attempted murder and second- and third-degree assault, though these charged were upgraded to hate crimes, NBC reports. 

The victim, a 28-year-old woman referred to as Danny by neighbors from Harlem, was standing on the downtown 6 train platform on Monday the morning of the assault, according to police.

She saw Reid spit into a garbage can, after which the man, who was 'acting erratically' according to the police report, asked her, 'What are you looking at?'

Surveillance video shows Reid rushing to a garbage can and grabbing a plastic bottle, which the victim claimed he threw at her, authorities said.

Reid then pushed the woman into the subway tracks and fled, police said, as other riders helped her back onto the platform. She was taken to Bellevue for treatment for scratches and cuts before being released.

Cops caught up to Reid on Thursday night after spotting him on an uptown 6 platform at Canal Street wearing the same shirt and khakis he was wearing on Monday.

Though Reid originally denied pushing anyone onto the subway, he changed his story and told officers, 'I’m going to throw you guys onto the tracks as well.'

The New York Daily News reports Reid has a long history of dangerous outbursts and erratic behavior, with 28 prior arrests on his sheet.

In February 2014, Reid was arrested with a knife on him, and when police asked why, he replied, 'To stab you,' sources told the Daily News.

He was charged with menacing in 2011 after trying to strike someone with a garbage pail, and in 2009 was arrested for hurling bricks around a homeless shelter in Brooklyn.

Man charged with hate crime for 'attempted murder of trans woman'