READERS

27 Apr 2016

The Spiritual Dimension Of S/M

"A knight should be bold, fair, courteous and well-mannered, generous and loyal, not foolish or rash, and should speak fairly without discourtesy. A knight should be all this, and also proud and fierce to his enemies, and kind to his friends." -Durmart

The Spiritual Dimension Of S/M

COURTESY OF: ChrisM of SubBondage.net


Let's begin our discussion of SM spirituality on something of a tangent: the people you have surely met at community functions who claim to have been "trained" in some sort of "ancient order." Some say they are "old guard" which actually means something. Others claim to be "the old school" or in "Classic style" which means nothing, or, more accurately, means whatever you want it to mean. Some describe Roissy-like training academies in Europe, Japan, or other exotic locales, and often stress secrecy and exclusivity in their lengthy, impromptu descriptions.
So far as I know, none of these ancient domination training academies really exist. No historical literature, no websites, no consistency in the stories told by "graduates" are ever provided. No pictorials in "Shiny" or "Skin Two" whose lifeblood is publicizing all things fetish. None of my gay brothers, who have a longer continuous heritage than us hets, has evidence of ancient SM academies (though some do find it a hot fantasy). Its true that in recent years, SM training academies like Butchmans in Las Vegas, have opened their doors to students. And For the past ten years, GMSMA has been teaching a fifteen session tops school for its members. The training of couples have long been part of the dominitrix's trade. And there have always been, clusters and communities where sex and sado-erotic activities were shared. Pompeii has frescoes testifying to this. Even our venerable Ben Franklin was a member of London's infamous hellfire club, an exclusive SM brothel, catering to the well heeled and exotic of taste. But if Knightly Orders of SM do exist, they do a good job of pretending they do not. Still I meet two or three people a year who give varying claims of having been through them. These purported students often speak in a hodgepodge of martial arts lingo, Gor Novels, and Jedi-knighthood which itself was a 1970's hodgepodge of Tolkein, King Arthur, and John Wayne Westerns. This sense of pomp carries over into the moody elevator music like "Enigma" so ubiquitous at SM functions, and use of prenominals like "Sir" which, in times past, signified knighthood. You see it in their solemn, deportment and in the Halloween-like outfits worn without a shred of humor or irony.

ARTICLE WORTH READING: BDSM Disclosure and Stigma Management: Identifying Opportunities for Sex Education


"While participation in the activities like bondage, domination, submission/sadism, masochism that fall under the umbrella term BDSM is widespread, stigma surrounding BDSM poses risks to practitioners who wish to disclose their interest. We examined risk factors involved with disclosure to posit how sex education might diffuse stigma and warn of risks. Semi-structured interviews asked 20 adults reporting an interest in BDSM about their disclosure experiences. Most respondents reported their BDSM interests starting before age 15, sometimes creating a phase of anxiety and shame in the absence of reassuring information. As adults, respondents often considered BDSM central to their sexuality, thus disclosure was integral to dating. Disclosure decisions in non-dating situations were often complex considerations balancing desire for appropriateness with a desire for connection and honesty. Some respondents wondered whether their interests being found out would jeopardize their jobs. Experiences with stigma varied widely."
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The cautionary tale of Dawn...... - who found her private life wasn't so private after all...

My custody issues came about midway through the negotiations surrounding my divorce. My ex and I had already been separated for 3 years, and our children, both under 10, were living with me. I have a boyfriend whom I met on the scene, but we do not live together.


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A few things not to say to Me:


There is no such thing as long enough or hard enough...

i'll try anything!

i have NO limits

i can take whatever You do to me

I'm a real pain slut and can take serious abuse

You want to put WHAT WHERE?

my previous Dom/me


The results are usually quite predictable. :)




26 Apr 2016

As a newbie, I was both eager and apprehensive about seeing a Domme

Dear Mistress Leyla,

As a newbie, I was both eager and apprehensive about seeing a Domme in person. I felt that my fantasy of a Mistress would never be quite the same as visiting a real Mistress. But, after putting it off for many years, I decided to take the plunge. I spoke to quite a few other Pro Dommes' in and around the Berkshire area, none of whom quite made me feel enticed to make a booking, until I spoke to you. I am not sure if it was your sexy voice or your relaxed manner but whatever it was, I was hooked. My visit to your Chambers was as near to my fantasies as I could possible get in reality, and You were the Goddess I was seeking. Thank you - many times over. THANK YOU. I will see you soon for our next session.


~ Simon





bob had more than he could muster: BDSM session review

Dear Mistress Leyla,

Just a quick note to say, thank you, thank you, thank you. :)

I had such a wonderful time today that it's almost impossible to put into words. But I'm going to try. :)

I was very nervous & apprehensive, but you completely put me at ease from the start, it's funny, I felt like I was talking to an old friend while we were drinking tea.

Please thank Master Mike for that? He makes a lovely cuppa. :)

The dungeon was amazing. Actually getting dressed the same time as you felt great, it was like we were transforming at the same time from vanilla caterpillars into beautiful, kinky butterflies. :) It thrilled me that you liked my corset & boots & thank you for lacing me up. Having Mistress, dressed in her PVC finery, pull me in tight, a feeling I'll never forget. :) I usually feel awkward wearing them, but around you it felt so right. :) x
I absolutely loved the way you crafted the session, there was a bit of everything & I loved it all. I'm beginning to think I'm more kinkier than I thought! Lol!

How you switched from sadistic interrogator to friendliness was a real mind blower! :) From bashing my balls to brushing me with the feather duster & climbing up me, seductively as I was in the chair. Did I imagine it, or did you actually lick my nipples? OMG! As I say, mind blowing. :))

Who would thought that a flannel & a bottle of water could be such a terrifying instrument of torture! Lol! Shit! This was meant to be a short note! Sorry. :) It's just I find it easier to express myself better through the written word,because of the stammer.

Anyway, to conclude. :)

You are amazing! I genuinely count our meeting as one of the most exciting times of my life and my only regret is that it's my 46th birthday next week & I'm sorry I didn't try this sooner, I've lost so many years.

I'm so happy to have met you as a person & have you destroy me as a Mistress! Lol! I'll try better next time. I don't know how, but I'm going to find a way that we can meet up with you again. I have to. You were right, I got in my car & thought "Did that really happen!?" It was like stepping out of reality into a different dimension & I loved it! I didn't understand the whole Mistress/sub relationship before, the bond. I do now. Looking into your eyes as we played, it happened...

I'm gonna stop now, cos I'm getting slushy. Lol!

Hope we can chat still on twitter? :)

Again, Thank you. :)))


bob






25 Apr 2016

An adventurous BDSM Session - REVIEW

Dear Mistress Lady Leyla
I am more than willing to fill in your questionnaire but wish to take a little time as I find the whole subject incredibly interesting. I have already written eight sides of A4 on my experience and that is only a quarter of it. Plus I am still on the boil!
  The videos capture two interesting realization points in my make up. As we discussed most of these yearnings come from childhood. At the age of 8-10 my girlfriend was a sweet petite girl called Julie. Sweet until she learnt about boys dangling sensitive bits. She then got the urge to sneak behind boys and give then a good squeeze causing then too jump and yelp! She would never do it to me though and I was too shy to ask.
  I spent many days standing in the playground legs apart waiting for a tickle! But nothing! I found my parents sex instruction book. There were pictures of girls actually enjoying sex. There was also a description of a girl pulling a man in and out by the balls during intercourse, dictating the speed from fast to slow. (This blew my mind and was a first request years later when I had a lover.)
  When I was little sex was something men ‘did’ to women, how dare she do this. And then there were some photos of a girl between a blokes legs playing with him for her amusement. The audacity of this girl, why she was even laughing! The picture that got to me the most was the one where she was pulling him towards her by his testicles. “What a slut” I thought “ what a bag, what a ……..Oh! I wish I could find a girl to do that to me!
  So to watch a video of me being controlled by the testes for a part of two hour where they were continually worked is amazing, I really can’t tell you how happy you made me, a forty year dream come true.
There’s a bit where I’m laying face down and you pull my bottom up by the lease around my balls. You did this a few times and it really made my head swim.
 It was such an undignified pose and I felt you lean over as if to inspect me and said, “I like your bollocks like this” and proceeded to tap them with your crop. It was the way you referred to my anatomy that really finished me off. Naked outdoors pulled up into an ungainly posture and having your nuts tapped at the mercy of a beautiful woman. Heaven comes in many different forms.
 The second video also hits a spot (there were thousands) . When I saw the size of your strap-on I was a little scared. I wasn’t bluffing when I said I was an anal virgin and when you stood threateningly between my legs with a dominant posture stroking your cock I knew I was in for a hard time.
 You looked magnificent and you asked if I liked your cock. STOP, I’m getting carried away here back to the point! The video –  When you told me to suck your cock I did it all the enthusiasm I could muster, I really wanted to please you. When you said suck, I sucked, Lick, I licked. You let out a delightful laugh and reamed my mouth. I tried to take as much as I could to please you and even gagged! You seemed to be pleased, I don’t know, you said “take it slow” as you knew what I was trying to do. I tried a second time and got your cock to the back of my throat.
“Good boy” you praised, you can’t imagine how wonderful a little praise from you makes you feel.
 The killer lines for me at the time were “What am I going to do with my cock?” and I said “Your going to fuck me” you let out a laugh again. I had surrendered to the inevitable. You asked if you thought it was too big? I did really but still wanted to please you and so I was easily persuaded. We know what happens next the text signifies…..
  Kneeling before you at the end I was surprised just how much significance being collared had. You took it off and asked “How I felt?” Anything I would have said to that question would have come over as trite, glib and meretricious. Right out of the blue I leant forward and kissed your thigh, I shocked myself, it was a really beautiful moment and I’ll never forget it.
   You cannot put a price on something like that, five days later and I’m still in the clouds. I really cannot thank you enough – Beautiful
  To taint such a wonderful experience, one that is up with some of my best ever (I really mean that) with the thoughts of a documentary comes over as mercenary and sordid.
 That is not the case I am so fascinated by all this that it would be a work of love and would want to help you in anyway.
 Whatever I will see you again (if you let me) and you can thrash out the details. Thanks once again for the experience of a lifetime and the videos and , and , and ……. I could go on forever!
 Sorry to go on, I'm truly shot!



Practice makes perfect

Resulting form the lack of effectiveness in work while wearing shackles, I did promise Mistress to practice more at home when I have time an...