The economics of consent: Why BDSM and consumer capitalism are closer than you think

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Permission from client to record sessions - Video / audio / photo

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Recording A Session - Permissions

The following type(s) of recording will be permitted during this session:		p Still Photography p Video p Audio
The following use recording(s) will be produced during this session:	p Commercial Public Distribution p Non-Commercial Public Distribution p Commercial Private Distribution p Non-Commercial Private Distribution p Destroyed upon completion of the session p None
The following post-production is required prior to release for specified use:	p Obliteration of identifiable features p Approval of post-production product by participants p Duplication of all original recordings for participant(s) personal use p None
Ownership and copyright of all session recording(s) are hereby assigned to the following person(s) with interests and / or restrictions as annotated: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________

Session Client Medical History - A form to record health / wellbeing.

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Medical History

Name:			Last STD Test: : ____ _____________ , 20 ___
Do you have a Trichomonas or Yeast Infection?					Yes No
Have you tested Herpes 1 or 2 positive?					Yes No
Have you tested HIV positive?					Yes No
Do you have any current symptoms or historical medical problems involving:
Heart Liver Lungs Kidneys Bladder, Colon or Rectum Dental	Neck or Spinal Cord Bones or Joints Muscles Mucus Membranes Nasal, Oral, Genital Psychological Other: ___________________________
Do you have current symptoms or a medical history of:
Hyperventilation Seizures Dizzy Spells Diabetes	High Blood Pressure Fainting Asthma Other: ___________________________
Do you wear contact lenses or prescription glasses?						Yes No
Do you suffer from any fears or phobias? If so, please describe: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________						Yes No
Do you have any surgical implants? If so, please describe: ________________________________________________________________						Yes No
Do you have any piercings of your:
Ear(s) Nose Eyebrow(s) Tongue		Nipple(s) Navel Genitals Other: ______________________________
Are you currently taking any of the following over-the-counter medications:
Aspirin Anti-Inflammatory Antihistamine		Decongestant Expectorant Other: ______________________________
List all prescription medications you currently take:				_______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________
Known Allergies including tapes and contraceptives:				_______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________
In case of emergency notify: _____________________________________________________________________

When you know better and you still do it - becoming a cynical masochist.

There are occasions when I think I become a masochist. Once in a while I will go against my better judgement just so I can tell myself 'I told you!'. My latest I told you moment concluded this evening. But it actually began a few weeks ago with the arrival of an email.

My inbox usually consists of 60% spam, 20% timewasters, 10 % genuine enquiries and 10% known submissives. One email caught my attention.

UPCOMING #BDSM #FETISH #ALT EVENTS around london

RSS FEED FOR THIS SCOOP 

WEB: www.sinfulandwicked.co.uk MOB: 07426 490 214 TWITTER: @sinfulandwicked

BDSM Unveiled: When Your Submissive Suffers from Clinical Depression

Structure is incredibly useful for persons suffering with depression. Setting clear, attainable daily tasks (even if your dynamic is long distance) can do a lot to keep a depressed mood from becoming inability to get out of bed. In the worst times, it may have to be something as simple as "You must go to work 4 days out of 5 every week. You must take a shower every other day at 10:30pm." Simple, everyday tasks can be easier to tolerate if they're turned into power dynamic chores, rather than just one more thing they have to try to manage on their own. Professional programs force clients to live by strict rules about when they wake up, when they eat, when they shower, etc, and having those things become automated means that they don't have to make any decisions about it.

The wannabe Dom's complaint

My dearest friend TawnyTrickster on Fetlife wrote this little article on his wall posts - and I loved it... I hope you enjoy it and Join him on Fetlife.

Original post: LINK HERE

Dear Fetlife,

 I joined your site over a week ago and I wish to point out my total dissatisfaction; I haven’t had any sex yet at all.

 I know just what you’re going to say but I fail to see why having no photos and no information on my profile should make any difference. I know for a fact others are the same yet they regularly inform me they’re getting their end away night after night.

 I joined and posted in at least half a dozen groups. My advert was short and to the point, “Kneel before me slut and suck my cock.” What’s not understandable about that? Not a single reply let alone a chance to fool around with a sweet young gal.

 I listed myself as a Dom (and what is it with all this weird capitalisation?) as I’m a man so obviously I can’t be anything else. Why do the subs not submit to me? Surely I should be inundated with offers of rumpy-pumpy? I’d have expected all the ladies to be begging me to slip them a hot beef injection? Nada.

 I see numerous old, short, fat and bald guys listed as playing with gorgeous girls half their age; how do they do that? Come on ladies, I’m a much better bet for a bit of banging! I’m young, fit, I’ll even send you pics of my cock to impress the hell out of you; what better invite could you receive for some jiggery-pokery?

 This is a place where I can find someone to dance the buttocks jig with right? Get some action going? Dip the wick? Come on you bitches, help a guy hit a home run. There must be someone out there as desperate as I am. Drop me a line here, I’ll even come to your place – my mom doesn’t like me having girls over anyway – and I can fill your juicebox for you with my creamy love liquid.

 Oh, so you want me to actually learn about this lifestyle, put some effort into it… Next you’ll want me to go on a voyage of self-discovery. I’m 19 years old FFS! I know what I want. Sheesh, all this just to get an opportunity to introduce the captain to his pie! Well I did read some of the stuff on here and it’s damn hot in places, but I’m more of a doer than a writer myself; I prefer to take a tumble in the hay over having to take the time and trouble to explain my thoughts and feelings to anyone.

 So I guess as I’m not having any luck with dunking my love muscle this maybe isn’t the place for me after all. I’m off to find some sleazy dating sites where I don’t have to pretend to be into the whole BDSM thing to get laid.

 Yours,

 A frustrated wannabe

QUESTION: What is the evolutionary basis for some humans liking bondage/S&M?

ANSWERS: 

(Add your own in comments)

BDSM is a technique to allow you to achieve reproductive success. In animals, normally a dominant partner is the one to spread his or her genes, so it makes sense to be attracted to dominance as you are mating with the head of the group.

In contrast, if you are a low ranking member, one of the few ways you may be able to become attractive to someone else is to make them feel powerful and in control.

BDSM is an extreme manifestation of those urges.

A typology for understanding sexual variation

A typology for understanding sexual variation

The standard model of sex and gender is extremely simple:

Any person who has a female body is a woman. But that is not all:

1.    She feels that she is a woman
2.    She thinks like a woman (whatever that is supposed to mean)
3.    She is attracted to men

The only complexity most people try to handle these days is item number 3: Sexual orientation. More and more seem to agree that same-sex sex is OK, and therefore add sexual orientation as a second dimension to the model.

BDSM in the Writer’s Mind

For a little amusement, something to make you smile. 

BDSM in the Writer’s Mind

Posted on September 23, 2014 by Jen Bradlee

"After watching Chris dig his belongings out of the dumpster and haul them up four flights of stairs, I wondered how sadistic we, the muses, could possibly be. I’m teasing, he only had to haul it up two flights.

Sensuous Caning. SETUP, WARM-UP TECHNIQUE. (#SensualCaning)

Author: Conrad Hodson

© 1997, 1998

INTRODUCTION

Canes have a deserved reputation as The Victorian Terror Weapon.  To most submissives, they mean severe punishment; to sensation-seeking S/M bottoms, overload.  If we have care and patience, however, canes can be used in a loving and sensuous way.  The very stiffness of a good cane, that makes a hard stroke so intense, allows the lightest taps to be given with perfect control.  And a light canestroke is easy to aim, unlike a flexible whip that sags and flops at low power.  In the kind of sensuous play I'm describing here, light strokes are far more prevalent and important than heavy ones.

Rope History and Bondage 101 Guide

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Recommendation: @Adolfalagolfa

A blog and Lady worth following!


Adolfa's World




Adolfa la Golfa (@Adolfalagolfa) | Twitter




WEB: www.sinfulandwicked.co.uk MOB: 07426 490 214 TWITTER: @sinfulandwicked

Has the internet been good for #BDSM?

What do you think??

"The Internet provides a central platform for networking amongindividuals who are interested in BDSM. There are countless private andcommercial choices and an increasing number of local networks and supportgroups emerging, which offer comprehensive background and health relatedinformation for people as well as contact lists with information on psychologists,physicians and lawyers who are familiar with BDSM related topics."

http://www.thedailyflogger.com/dungeon-voices/

Psychological safety in BDSM play, part 1 & part 2

Enjoy reading.......Come visit me at: www.sinfulandwicked.co.uk

Psychological safety in BDSM play, part 1 – Introduction

Playing with pain and power is risky. There is no getting around it. It’s why, as a community, we spend time reading, practicing and attending workshops to make sure we can give our partner the experience they want, in the safest way possible.

In kink we play with the mind just as much as we play with the body. And just like the body, there are certain things that we need to be aware of to make our play as safe as possible.

Mental illness and psychological trauma are an invisible epidemic in Western society. A worldwide survey of women recently revealed that one in three women worldwide has been the victim of sexual assault. And if you look at the combined experience of physical and sexual assault in Australia, the number of women who have experienced some kind of trauma is one in two.

Female spree-killing, sex, and celebrity: The case of Joanna Dennehy

Enjoy reading.......Come visit me at: www.sinfulandwicked.co.uk

AUTHOR: Author & academic; critical thinker; curmudgeon.

Posted on February 24, 2014

Knowing that my latest book is about murder and gender – or, more specifically, about a particular narrative of modern identity and individuality that has made possible the figure of the Western “recreational murderer” – lots of people have drawn my attention to the recent case of Joanna Dennehy.

Dennehy is a 32-year-old British woman who enlisted her apparently enthralled male lovers, Gary Stretch and Leslie Layton, to be her accomplices in the murders of three men, Lukasz Slaboszewski, Kevin Lee, and John Chapman. (See here.) Dennehy’s documented taste for sadomasochistic sexual practices (see here) has added to the frenzied media interest in the case, and has led to the production of some dubious psychiatric diagnoses, which I plan to write about elsewhere. Dennehy is both statistically unusual and discursively rare in being described as a female recreational killer whose apparent motives for committing her crimes were sexual sadism and thrill-seeking.

Trapped in a man's body with a woman's mind

I belong to a small community of people all born with the same unusual syndrome. It has the unfortunate name of transsexualism and is one of those rare conditions - like hermaphroditism - where the individual is born as a mixture of the sexes. There are thousands of us in the UK, and as soon as our condition is confirmed, we lose many of our civil liberties. We have no substantive employment rights, it is illegal for us to marry and we are not allowed to adopt children.

But of course we are people - lawyers, doctors, academics, nurses, business people, rich and poor, from shop assistants to peers of the realm, whose life-experience, curious to others, is normal to us. We do not believe that we are less worthy of human rights than anyone else: only less powerful.

It is almost impossible to communicate how it feels to be born and to grow up in this way. Knowing nothing else, it is normal for us to find nature and nurture at odds, to know ourselves one thing while being brought up as another. Typically, then, from the age of four or five, the child knows that there is something wrong and, typically, they believe it will change naturally. Of course, it doesn't and by the age of eight or nine their distress is so great that they may simply hope to die.

Transsexual differences caught on brain scan

Medics are keen to find concrete physical evidence to help those children who feel they are trapped in the body of the opposite sex. One key brain region involved is the BSTc, an area of grey matter. But the region is too small to scan in a living person so differences have only been picked up at post-mortem.

Antonio Guillamon's team at the National University of Distance Education in Madrid, Spain, think they have found a better way to spot a transsexual brain. In a study due to be published next month, the team ran MRI scans on the brains of 18 female-to-male transsexual people who'd had no treatment and compared them with those of 24 males and 19 females.

The T - word

by Devon

I am not a transsexual. I am transsexual. See the difference? Although it may seem subtle, there is a vast difference, with complex philosophical and social implications. Understanding this difference is essential to understanding ourselves and how we fit into society.

In the first instance, "transsexual" is used as a noun; in the second, as an adjective. One significant problem with use of the noun form is that it replaces gender completely. Instead of being referred to as men and women, or even transsexual men and women, we are called simply transsexuals -- in effect, invalidating our gender. The following exchange between two male characters in a television program I watched recently illustrates this point:

"Who's that woman over there?"

"That's a transsexual."

Gary, who is really Grace.

Grace only ever emerges when she is alone with me. She is beautiful and charismatic. But Grace has to live her life as Gary. Everyday she has to wake up as Gary, go to work as Gary and has to be Gary around family and friends.  Gary is the name she was assigned as a baby. On all her documents the name is Gary. Gary looks like a man. Lives life as a man. But inside, Gary is really Grace, and Grace is tortured, unhappy and depressed. Gary/Grace is transsexual. 

The joy I see in Grace's eyes when she is wearing what she feels comfortable in, feeling relaxed, happy and empowered.  But I also know that as soon as Grace is put away physically, she will be again, unhappy at having to live a lie - live as Gary. The sparkle in Grace's eyes disappear and sadness returns.

Grace is not alone - not by far. There are thousands of transsexuals in the UK. I feel that there are many many more who are hidden, like Grace. 

***********************

Sarah's Story: 

“My name is Sarah Szabo, and I’m a twenty-two year old transsexual,” goes a sentence that, not five years ago, I never thought I’d ever say. Five years ago, I was a high school graduate on way to being a college freshman. Also, a boy. My name was Josh, I had a beard, and I had a secret. I was lugging around a weight that any closet-familiar queer kid likely knows a thing or two about, that kind of smirking, “if-you-only-knew” knowledge of the self, held close and very personal behind a cloudy facade. I’m a woman and I know it, I’d think to myself. I wonder if I’m ever gonna tell anybody.

What would you say if someone invited you to a Naturist Spa?

What would you say if someone invited you to a spa? I'm sure you would jump at the chance as it would give you the opportunity to relax, switch off and unwind after the stresses of a busy week. I'm sure you would love to enjoy the spa, chat with friends and simply take time away from daily life where you indulged in a little "me time"

What would you say however if you went to a spa and it was a full naturist spa? Would you be curious? Would you jump at the chance, remove your clothes and have a fantastic day or would your inhibitions be too much?

I was very recently told about a Naturist Spa, and I genuinely was curious. How would I react once the underwear came off? Would I become all shy and reserved or would I be happy to flaunt my body and not have a care in the world.

Wannabe or True Slave..?

Believe in fate? Are men and women born as leaders or do they become one? Is there such thing as natural talent or do folks learn via coaching and training? In turn are you born a slave or is it something you just pick up via media, advent of the internet...etc..etc.

Well as with all I write on this blog now and in the future I can only speak from experience...first hand experience.

I may be a very well experienced tvMistress and am very good at my craft but I am a slave to my wife and Mistress. For me I believe I was born a slave.

As a young boy I can remember seeing women like Joan Collins, Debbie Harry, Siouxie Sioux and even the old Top of the Tops Pans People girls and wanting to be under their spell. In the main these women were/are no nonsense women that knew/know what they want. As I say I was a young boy...6/7/8...9 at a push and I wanted to be under their spell.

Hello and WELCOME @tvMistressPaula - newest delicious blogger

It is hard to find great blog writers with super saucy, deviant and delicious interests. So, it is with GREAT PLEASURE that I welcome tvMistress Paula to this growing blog of wicked writers.

You can also reach her at: https://twitter.com/tvMistressPaula

Read her post here

From wannabe to slave to tvMiss to cuckold...and more

Well it's an honour to be granted permission to contribute to Mistress/Lady Leylas blog.  I hope I can add a differing dimension to this wonderful alternative lifestyle that 'we' with live, dream about, dip in and out of or just purely fantasise about.

I am one of the lucky ones in my view and it's been a long and sometimes painful journey...and that's with no pun intended!!!

More posts will follow but it is fair to say I have 'been there' when it comes to understanding this lifestyle.  Have I seen it all...well no, I would not be arrogant enough to say that...but at the same time I do understand a lot, have lived a lot and very much understand the mind of a slave.  I know how to serve and as a result I know and understand how a Mistress should be served too.  In tune I know how to dominate men and know what makes them 'tick' and what buttons to press..or not press as the case may be.  Takes one to know one and all that! :)